Secrets/confessions/things your embarrassed about/things you haven't told anyone

[IDontWantToBreathe]

For those of you who can't physically have sex, or low sex drive, or lack sexual attraction, but want a relationship, have you considered dating an asexual? I'm on the asexual, as a demi, and that's hard for me because I rarely experience sexual attraction.

Hey that was my secret!

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

I have herpes, so upon first revealing this, most men think I'm a cheap piece of dirt
I've been a bully in the past because I've so desperately needed to boost my own ego.
I want to die (hey, something we all have in common!)
I'm jealous of my friend who CTB-ed earlier this month.
I never forgive, I never forget (those who have bullied me or wronged me in any way, and I also never forget all of my failings, too.)

 

[wanttodie]

That i want to end my life

 

[CRM]

I'm a straight man who likes sticking things up my butt. I'm not ashamed.

Used to jerk off in class throughout sophomore year in high school and I'm ashamed. Fuck teenage me.

I still eat baby food.

I didn't care that my grandpa recently died and I feel shitty about it. Sorry, grandpa.

I kept a paper snowflake some girl I used to like gave me and don't have the heart to get rid of it.

I still stalk said girl's social media despite not having feelings for her anymore. But only when I'm bored.

A friend of mine asked if I would cry if he died. I said no. I regret it.

A bunch of other stuff that I can't think of right now.

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

k i'm not looking for sympathy everyone here has their own problems
Just sharing my "Secrets Confessions Things your Embarrassed about"
If anyone else wishes to share theirs go ahead !
If not thats ok i totally understand.

here's mine

I CAN'T HAVE SEX

There i said it !

I'm Female 21 years old.I had to have an operation about 2 years ago.It was a possibility that the above would happen and unfortunately it did.
I'm not comfortable going into the details of the operation so i won't Sorry !!!
This is really embarrassing for me to share this with all of you.I have only told one member here about this.

This problem is the cause of my severe depression.
All my friends have boyfriends or are having kids etc
Because of my condition i can't have either.Everywhere i go i see couples/familys and it kills me

Any guy that shows interest in me i just lie and tell him i'm already seeing someone.

And yes i know there is more to relationships than sex and there is also many other ways to have sex and i could meet some guy who would be totally ok with this.But it has still destroyed me.

Anyway thanks for reading !
And feel free to add your own.
Doesn't have to be similar to mine.It can be anything
Maybe you have a secret/confession you want to unload before you CTB ?
Otherwise you would just take it to the grave and no one would ever know.

I am sorry for your story, I can only tell you that if someone really loves you He would be with you anyway, in fact if I fell in love with a girl with a similar problem I would be very understanding.

Much encouragement.

 

[SnowyDreams]

Let's see.
I'm 27 and never had sex, there was a point in life when I was 18 when I wanted to try it but later I lost all interest.
I've been crushing on a girl from college for almost four years. And no obviously nothing happened though I tried asking her out (more like just asking her to hang out) and though she said yes then she cancelled so. .. yeah. I still get nervous when I see her.
I probably have a systemic yeast infection but doctors say everything is ok. One of the reasons I keep wanting to drop dead everyday.

 

[RottingFlowerBrains]

I was sexually abused as a child when i was 8 by another child.
Still echoes in my mind

 

[lv-gras]

I was sexually abused as a child when i was 8 by another child.
Still echoes in my mind

offers hugs

 

[Help_Me]

Ok ok, I am on same situation mentioned by SnowyDreams. Except that I an 26 (did not go far anyway).

 

[worldexploder]

The only reason that I haven't slept with an escort since my divorce is because I feel too repulsive even for them.

 

[RottingFlowerBrains]

offers hugs

Thank you

 

[nzdarkshark]

People know this - but I have a form of species dysmorphia. Most people just think its a tumblr thing (I am not on tumblr, not joining) but I've been 'suffering' with this for 5 or so years now on and off. I have a deep connection with wolves and sometimes feel 'phantom limbs', mostly ears and tail. People will think I'm weird but what the fuck. I don't tell many people cos they'll think I'm being childish or stupid. I know I will never be a wolf and that fact haunts me a little I guess, as this stupid human body is worthless.

 

[lv-gras]

People know this - but I have a form of species dysmorphia. Most people just think its a tumblr thing (I am not on tumblr, not joining) but I've been 'suffering' with this for 5 or so years now on and off. I have a deep connection with wolves and sometimes feel 'phantom limbs', mostly ears and tail. People will think I'm weird but what the fuck. I don't tell many people cos they'll think I'm being childish or stupid. I know I will never be a wolf and that fact haunts me a little I guess, as this stupid human body is worthless.

offers hugs scritches or condolences if wanted

 

[lv-gras]

and if this is a weird secrets thread....

ok, same as above, have non typical maybe species related dysphoria.

 

[worldexploder]

I had "feelings" for my aunt from the ages of 13 to 16.

EDIT: fuck it I'm gonna fully confess cuz everyone did weird ass shit at one point in their life.

I remember when I was about 14. I was home alone. I put on her panties, bra, and dress. Then I applied makeup. I layed in her bed and touched meh body pretending to be her.

 

[worldexploder]

I had "feelings" for my aunt from the ages of 13 to 16.

EDIT: fuck it I'm gonna fully confess cuz everyone did weird ass shit at one point in their life.

I remember when I was about 14. I was home alone. I put on her panties, bra, and dress. Then I applied makeup. I layed in her bed and touched meh body pretending to be her.

I did a lot weirder shit than this. I'd be more than happy to confess to everything I can remember as long as y'all want me too. Lol i think it's funny. I NEVER did anything illegal at least.

 

[2211264]

I did a lot weirder shit than this. I'd be more than happy to confess to everything I can remember as long as y'all want me too. Lol i think it's funny. I NEVER did anything illegal at least.

I'd like to hear more of your weird shit if your willing ?

 

[worldexploder]

I'd like to hear more of your weird shit if your willing ?

I already confessed the weirdest thing I ever done. It was very scatalogical to say the least. You see I am into female body odors. One of my biggest turn on's. Since I was a teenager I dreamt of making love to a woman who didn't shower for 2 weeks or so.

In 2006, i sucked the smelly shit stains out of my best friends girlfriends underwear.

 

[2211264]

Nasogastric tube feeding turns me on.
I've done some and I really enjoyed and it was also arousing

 

[worldexploder]

Nasogastric tube feeding turns me on.
I've done some and I really enjoyed and it was also arousing

Getting tube fed or seeing someone else get tube fed?

Also I have a Nullo roleplaying fetish. You gotta look that one up. As well as humiliation, ass sniffing (well duh) pretending to be a female or asexual. I got to explore most of my fetishes when I had someone.

 

[Deafsn0w]

Browsering Sanctioned Suicide while pooping

 

[2211264]

The idea of being totally latex covered rubberdoll, excites me very much.

And the weirdest thing for me would be to be a rubberdoll permanently.
And to have bodily functions controlled.
To have a permanent colostomy. And to have a gastrostomy.
To have my food pumped into me and waste pumped out through two small connections through my stomach. And thus my colon would be disconnected from my bowels and ready to use whenever.

 

[2211264]

Getting tube fed or seeing someone else get tube fed?

Also I have a Nullo roleplaying fetish. You gotta look that one up. As well as humiliation, ass sniffing (well duh) pretending to be a female or asexual. I got to explore most of my fetishes when I had someone.

Being fed myself and the feeling it gives. When I've seen other people feeding or with ng tubes, it gives me the "feels". But like its fucked becuase everyone being fed like that obviously is very I'll, so its a bit conflicting sexually

 

[worldexploder]

The idea of being totally latex covered rubberdoll, excites me very much.

And the weirdest thing for me would be to be a rubberdoll permanently.
And to have bodily functions controlled.
To have a permanent colostomy. And to have a gastrostomy.
To have my food pumped into me and waste pumped out through two small connections through my stomach. And thus my colon would be disconnected from my bowels and ready to use whenever.

Interesting. The ODDEST fetish I use to have was calling sexual health info lines and pretending to be a late blooming 18 year old who never had an orgasm. It really turned me on to have the nurse talk to me in a professional way. Some even used terms like "have you tried jacking off". I started calling those numbers when I was around 16 (at the time pretending to be that age) and quit last year. Most of those numbers were from Canada. Unless you're going to call the San Francisco Sex Infoline, there isn't too many "helpful" places in the states.

I'd also call phone sex operators and get off by making them believe that I had penile agenesis (born without a penis) and the only way I could orgasm was though nipple and ball play. Those mature ones were really undersrsnding.

 

[2211264]

What is it about the Nullo stuff?
Can you explain more about that?

 

[worldexploder]

What is it about the Nullo stuff?
Can you explain more about that?

It's were you pretend you don't have genitals. So you try to rub other parts of your body to get sensations. It's tied in with the humiliation i think. Some people go insane and literally have their stuff removed to explore their fetish's further. I'd NEVER EVER do that. There are plenty of articles about it.

 

[iglooblimp]

I watch a lot of series/films to distract me from my depression.

 

[Dean]

There was a guy from my university who had everything, good looks, good at sports, smart, rich, and was friends with everyone. I never really understand the stereotype that popular people are mean, when you have had a good life and everyone is nice to you, why would you be mean? Anyway everyday I daydream that I'm him for hours on end. After I was disfigured in an accident, I would pray that everyday when I got up and looked in the mirror I would see him instead of me. There are days that I just spend the whole day lying in bed imaging what it would be like to be him and always have friends to talk to and everyone liking me. Nowadays most people don't even want to look at me.

 

[TheLastTrip]

Confession: I emotionally cheated on my ex. My ex treated me like dirt for years, at one point I meet someone else who was in the same situation with their partner. We start to chat about how awful our partners are etc and suddenly I find that I have no desire to even be in the same room as my ex, this new woman says she understands me and that I deserve better. My ex starts to get suspicious and jealous (rightly so but it didn't feel like it at the time). The other woman wants things to progress with us, I tell her I will break up with my partner but need time, she doesn't give it, eventually she kisses me on the lips one night (not reciprocated). I feel so guilty I break up with my partner, then find out the other woman just wanted to get me into bed anyway and didn't really understand me or care about me, I cut contact with her but the damage was done.

The one thing I always had was my integrity, I might not be the best looking, most confident or most successful guy but when I started to date someone I could say with pride that I have never cheated on anyone in my life. I Googled it and apparently I committed emotional infidelity so now I can never truthfully say that to a woman (and I can't really lie, it is just not a skill I have or want to have).

That isn't my reason to CTB by the way, just one thing that has been bugging me and I can't/don't want to tell anyone else about it.

 

[sadsoul]

Ok content warning, this is disgusting, I have hemorrhoids and shitting really hurts. And cleaning my ass takes really long because apparently I'm a bit obsessive-compulsive when it comes to anal hygiene. But at least I can browse SS while taking a dump. Also, I'm secretly hoping that I die from straining on the toilet lol.
Alright, now you know something I haven't told anyone because I'm far too embarrassed.