Secrets/confessions/things your embarrassed about/things you haven't told anyone

[Life sucks]

Just to describe what I meant about the correlation. I don't understand how people do crimes and rape or have sex without emotions or even hatred.
For me, sex is always integrated with emotions of love. Even if its a roleplay it will have love and in the worst case, love-hate relationship will still have love.
And it works the other way also, If love a woman, I get attached and attracted to her sexually (despite looks or any other details but that doesn't mean I'm won't love ones with good looks).

 

[Nihilistnow]

It's not the reason for my wanting to ctb but I also have sexual frustration I guess. I just can't seem to figure out how relationships work and it always falls apart for me so I've given up despite how alone it makes me feel.

 

[mattwitt]

I like to dress in sexy women's clothing - put some pink lip gloss on - lock myself in my bedroom and listen to Disco music while rocking in my recliner.

 

[Hanger]

I (mle) feel like a lesbian woman and want to be a lesbian woman. and I like to wear shiny lycra leggings

 

[Luke]

So this is going to sound strange, but I am in a somewhat similar circumstance as a male and have never told anyone about this and it is one of the biggest reasons to my depression as well. Disclaimer this might be a little to much information for some people but I have to get this out.I was dating my ex for about 5 years at the time and we use to fuck like maniacs so one night we had already had sex 3 times and decided to go for another round (stupid in hindsight) since I was exhausted and was having trouble staying fully erect. So she is on top and we were going pretty hard when my dick slipped out and she came down full force with all her weight and literally broke my dick. I had to go to the hospital for a penile fracture and have surgery it was swollen up and was black and purple. Well needless to say it didnt heal properly and has left me essentially impotent and with that came losing my manhood and my girlfriend following shortly after. I'm sorry if that was explicit and gross I just needed to voice that.

This is brutal man. Absolutely brutal.

 

[GodKnows]

I used to be addicted to prostitutes.

 

[Luke]

I (mle) feel like a lesbian woman and want to be a lesbian woman. and I like to wear shiny lycra leggings

What's stopping you?

 

[Luke]

I like to dress in sexy women's clothing - put some pink lip gloss on - lock myself in my bedroom and listen to Disco music while rocking in my recliner.

I really hope that's not the reason you want out.

 

[Luke]

It's not the reason for my wanting to ctb but I also have sexual frustration I guess. I just can't seem to figure out how relationships work and it always falls apart for me so I've given up despite how alone it makes me feel.

You know the truth is nobody knows. When you enter one the only thing you both know is that you're willing to figure out how to make it work together.
More often that not it fails.

 

[Luke]

I guess your the male version of me
"losing my manhood"
I think i I understand this
for me i don't even feel like a woman anymore i don't even know what i am ? if that make sense ?

Aren't you in a male body? I'm really confused now.

 

[mattwitt]

I really hope that's not the reason you want out.

I don't want out... I want to break free!!!

 

[Pallf]

I'm a lesbian who most likely won't get married and I'm coming to terms with that.
I'm not good with people anyway and I have no want to out myself in real life.

I'm pretty comfortable with the idea of keeping my sex life online instead of having sex with a partner.

 

[thatguyakira123]

I have no problem with Incest or Gay Incest so long as it's consensual. I actually at one point loved my cousin and wanted to be in a relationship with him, but I knew it would never be so I forced myself to get over it.

 

[Pallf]

I have no problem with Incest or Gay Incest so long as it's consensual. I actually at one point loved my cousin and wanted to be in a relationship with him, but I knew it would never be so I forced myself to get over it.

How were you able to force yourself to get over it? I become infatuated too easily and it would be nice to know how to stop it in its tracks.

 

[thatguyakira123]

How were you able to force yourself to get over it? I become infatuated too easily and it would be nice to know how to stop it in its tracks.

Years of drinking and self harm and becomeing obsessed with porn. I also had to be real with myself.

I'm clean of porn and stopped self harming but still drink becuase there are other problems in my life.

It's still hard sometimes cuz we follow each other on Instagram and I just feel the need to impress him at times.

 

[Luke]

Years of drinking and self harm and becomeing obsessed with porn. I also had to be real with myself.

I'm clean of porn and stopped self harming but still drink becuase there are other problems in my life.

It's still hard sometimes cuz we follow each other on Instagram and I just feel the need to impress him at times.

What was wrong with porn for you?

 

[thatguyakira123]

What was wrong with porn for you?

The fact that I had the constant urge to do it. Plus it lead me down the road to a side that's too dark to post on the open.

 

[mattwitt]

I'm not embarrassed about it. But I am a 41 y/o SUPER VIRGIN I've never had a girlfriend or boyfriend and I've never had sex with anyone or anything not even close and I have never been on a date either. lol. Ever since I was probably in the second grade all I wanted to do is fall in love with a pretty girl get married and live happily ever after with a couple of dogs. But for some reason the whole entire world actually does revolve around me in some strange negative way!

 

[burrito]

I think being trans is really sexist and not progressive at all. I don't want to go into all the details but would you give someone with an eating disorder liposuction surgery? Would you tell a girl who thought she was fat that her weight identity is skinny and her body is wrong? I wasted so much time in my life thinking I could change my sex. You can't. I don't have a uwu cutesy pink brain like those traps think I do. I'm pretty terfy, but I love men. I don't think men are inherently bad at all and I think everyone is capable of sexism (that includes me confessing my fear of men from past experiences, which is absolutely generalizing and my responsibility to overcome trauma without hurting innocent people), but that includes this new progressive trend of saying that women who won't suck a cross dressing dick are bigots and don't deserve to piss in public is infuriating. And yes. I "know" eeeveryone has an innate sense of stereotypes, that noooone is ever capable of recovering from a bad body image, and I'm eeevil. But I'm tired of living the Tumblr cult. Helping others accept their bodies and be PROUD drag queens, tomboys, etc. is actually good for society.

Along with that, I've been addicted to hardcore porn after being taken advantage of, and no, sex positivity isn't real. It isn't healthy. Self harm isn't automatically okay if you sexualize it. The fuck? This is BAD coping. Thinking you deserve to be beat or raped is BAD coping, it isn't some SJW bullshit about denying gender norms or some shit. This is a sign of BAD MENTAL HEALTH. ME INCLUDED.

Pretty controversial stuff I want to be as confident as Magdalen Berns saying with my name and face, lol.

 

[burrito]

The fact that I had the constant urge to do it. Plus it lead me down the road to a side that's too dark to post on the open.

Treating loneliness with porn is like treating dehydration with alcohol and hunger with McDonalds. It fucking is rough to get over and people need to see it for the addiction it is. I wish you peace man.

 

[Tomasnil]

No one is inerrerly bad we are just formed that way by life... well almost everyone there is that 1%
i just like you name makes me think of muntle crew

 

[El Topo]

So this is going to sound strange, but I am in a somewhat similar circumstance as a male and have never told anyone about this and it is one of the biggest reasons to my depression as well. Disclaimer this might be a little to much information for some people but I have to get this out.I was dating my ex for about 5 years at the time and we use to fuck like maniacs so one night we had already had sex 3 times and decided to go for another round (stupid in hindsight) since I was exhausted and was having trouble staying fully erect. So she is on top and we were going pretty hard when my dick slipped out and she came down full force with all her weight and literally broke my dick. I had to go to the hospital for a penile fracture and have surgery it was swollen up and was black and purple. Well needless to say it didnt heal properly and has left me essentially impotent and with that came losing my manhood and my girlfriend following shortly after. I'm sorry if that was explicit and gross I just needed to voice that.

One possible side effect of vasodilating medicines is priapism, which is an erection that won't go away. People laugh about it, but it's actually a medical emergency because it can cause necrosis and lead to a "rotting dick."

When you go to the ER, they give you pills. If they don't work, they inject adrenaline into your dick. If that doesn't work, they actually cut open your dick to drain the blood, and it can lead to permanent disfigurement of the penis.

I once saw a psychiatrist who had a patient who just had that happen to him. His penis was all mangled up, and he was thinking about killing himself because of it.

 

[ninaevol]

I can sort of relate to your issue. It's not that I can't have sex (I most definitely can and want to) but living under such strict parents I can't even have a male friend without them being on my ass about it. Wish I had a car so I could pretend I'm somewhere else, when I'm actually with a guy.. Really sucks for a girl with such a high sex drive. I've only managed to have oral once, and go on a couple dates

 

[Sharethepain]

Well, simply put, my "secret" or reason for ctb is that I refuse to let go of my feelings for my ex. No matter how much pain it causes me, the thoughts that she´s with someone else, I simply refuse to let our time together (3+ years) be in vain and letting it go. For some reason, probably a complex from childhood, I am awfully disgusted with people who have more than one relationship in life, therefore I´d rather be eaten alive by this pain than choose someone else over her ever. That is my form of loyalty, and the thing that will be the end of me most likely.

 

[ge0rge]

my secret is that I'd absolutely demolish, destroy, or otherwise ruin anyone else's chances to achieve my professional goals. I'd forego friendships and love and basically human kindness if it furthered my career. it's the only thing I care about.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Sorry to hear that that must be miserable not being able to have sex and it affecting who dates you. To me if I was with someone that I had amazing chemistry with and that was the only major thing I would still date them because to me sex isnt everything and ive been in relationships that I didnt have sex.

 

[Tiburcio]

I enjoy receiving anal sex more than the 75% of women.

 

[IWishYouAllGoodLuck]

Like Tiburcio I really like receiving anal sex.

 

[Broken Widow]

For those of you who can't physically have sex, or low sex drive, or lack sexual attraction, but want a relationship, have you considered dating an asexual? I'm on the asexual spectrum, as a demi, and that's hard for me because I rarely experience sexual attraction. I'm not quite asexual, but certainly not a very sexual person, nor do I find myself sexually attracted to peoplepeopl often.

 

[IDontWantToBreathe]

I never had much of a sex drive at all... I'm definitely asexual but haven't really said that to anyone. I've never felt comfortable in my own skin even though girls have thrown themselves at me my entire life.

I can barely get an erection or keep one and the only reason it bugs me is because I was taught by society to believe it was a problem.. if I don't want to have sex I shouldn't have to. I have only done it to essentially "satisfy" who knows if I'm even capable.. the needs of my ex girlfriends.

They all cheat on me.. I try to talk about it and they think I'm not attracted to them when the truth is I love them. But don't show it through sexual activity. It's shitty because I feel like I can't ever find somebody to love and now I've become so unbearably cold I doubt anybody would want to be around me.

I'm in my early 20's so right now everybody is just doing everybody and it makes me feel self conscious. But then again I suffer from serious mental health issues so I doubt that it's uncommon when you've been taking meds for over half of your life.

That's my rant. Thanks for this thread it was nice to share that and thank you to everybody who was brave enough to share their secrets, we should be able to speak about these things and not feel judged.