Venting 🙃 second thoughts again fml

[waistcoat]

carrying on from
Thread 'second thoughts'
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/second-thoughts.210226/

?? why are these thoughts back its annoying

its like. not even "haha i dont want to die" but more "what if your attempt fails? then you'll have to live with everyone thinking you're weak, you will probably be forced to move back home and not be allowed to live on your own again, it'll get worse, you'll have to withdraw from university" etc

its just ?? ugh

i want to die why is my brain constantly focused on what happens if i fail and survive this is so stupid

fml

 

[ChainedCrow]

I also had and even to these day i have the fear of what if i survive i could probably even CTB by a firearm and still be thinking what if. Surviving and navigating life after that Is always the second worst scenrio to being disabled forever i dont unfortunetly know any methods of overcoming it than just thinking and making plans if it fails. Good luck with whatever u choose to do and much love

 

[waistcoat]

I also had and even to these day i have the fear of what if i survive i could probably even CTB by a firearm and still be thinking what if. Surviving and navigating life after that Is always the second worst scenrio to being disabled forever i dont unfortunetly know any methods of overcoming it than just thinking and making plans if it fails. Good luck with whatever u choose to do and much love

im just so scared :(
ill be going by sn, afaik that's pretty guaranteed to die with as long as you do it correctly and no one finds you within ~2h

i am supposed to be enrolling onto my degree like, the day after my planned attempt, so if i do survive it'll fuck everything up… im not even sure why im worried about that, ill be dead..

ugh. if these thoughts don't go away im gonna have to push back my date ;( i wanna be cozy when im dying i dont wanna be worrying about this shit

much love to you as well ~<3

 

[sambrosia]

I think it's good to push back your date if you're not totally sure. Nothing wrong with that! Ctb will always be an option, and hey it's permanent so it's a big decision. Doesn't hurt to give yourself some more time, and maybe in the interim you'll even discover reasons to keep living.

 

[Afterglow]

we'll all be here for you no matter what.

 

[waistcoat]

im thinking ill just go through with it on my planned day, i dont wanna have my bday

 

[Unknown21]

You don't have to force yourself since dying is permanent and a irreversible just give yourself the time you need to get to a conclusion.