I used to be in the same state. I faked my emotions and managed to make a living, have relationships and friends.
However, I finally exploded. I highly recommend you try to get help so that you don't become a NEET (shut-in) like me.
Thank you for your response.
I have a therapist but because I have been a therapist I am constantly second guessing my responses and analyzing everything I say and her responses to every thing I say.
I try not to be guarded with my therapist but sessions always leave me second guessing myself.
And we are in a holding period at this time and unable to move beyond superficial engagement to the critical issue until funding is approved ... January 25th is when I have a psych eval but each day I am becoming less 'me'.
Thanks everyone for the likes and hugs and support.
Thanks everyone for the likes and hugs and support.
Thank you for replying, I just wanted to be sure. Although mental health awareness is getting a little bit better nowadays then there are still a lot of people who don't know their disease must be treated by psychiatrist. I wish you all the best!
Another quick reflection I have just had in response to rereading your i intial post and my response to it ...
I dont think I am faking my emotions or pretending I am not unwell now ... but I do constantly worry that I have lost a sense of reality regarding my 'intention' ...
Even now I am wondering why I am typing this here ... for what purpose?
I am not 'me'.