Venting I'm scared

[hikkatyan]

I'm in a lot of pain, I'm in a lot of pain, I'm in a lot of pain. I am ready to scream from this pain inside, my tears are daily. Why am I so obsessive, why do I bring suffering to the person I care about by my existence. He hates me because he doesn't want to see me, he wants me out of his life, he's so sick of me. I'm just afraid to disappear from his life completely, he's so important to me. I'm not asking for love and a relationship. I know he doesn't care about me.

Have you ever met the perfect person who makes you happy just because they're there for you. How do I let go? I can't, I can't, I can't.

Fear is holding me back. It hurts to breathe. What am I gonna do, I don't know. He feels bad that I'm meddling in his life. I'm making someone I want to make happy suffer. I hate myself.
Help me, I'm burning up

 

[darksouls]

I am very sorry you are suffering so much
hope you find the peace you deserve

 

[zixd]

I'm in a lot of pain, I'm in a lot of pain, I'm in a lot of pain. I am ready to scream from this pain inside, my tears are daily. Why am I so obsessive, why do I bring suffering to the person I care about by my existence. He hates me because he doesn't want to see me, he wants me out of his life, he's so sick of me. I'm just afraid to disappear from his life completely, he's so important to me. I'm not asking for love and a relationship. I know he doesn't care about me.

Have you ever met the perfect person who makes you happy just because they're there for you. How do I let go? I can't, I can't, I can't.

Fear is holding me back. It hurts to breathe. What am I gonna do, I don't know. He feels bad that I'm meddling in his life. I'm making someone I want to make happy suffer. I hate myself.
Help me, I'm burning up

Sorry , you need peace , and let the time figure it out

 

[cupboard]

I feel like we all inevitably suffer from something. Me, it's with loneliness and a lack of meaning and purpose, and with you, its dependence.

But just know this - even with all the complex reasons we suffer and the differing situations that bring us the suffering, I feel like suffering is a universal experience. And when we suffer, we want to be comforted and completely understood by another person. Humans are social creatures after all.

But the person who can provide that is not the person who you are obsessed with.

The person who can provide that is yourself, right? Ultimately you're the only one who can understand yourself completely, and feel the terror you are feeling. So instead of viewing yourself from the lens of inadequacy or "obsession", try instead to find reason to love and comfort that self that wanted to be understood, and loved, and embraced by another person, that you label as "obsessed" or "crazy" or "inadequate".

What helps me is to just think of the most vulnerable part of me, the part that I don't want to touch because they feel so "inadequate" and "terrible", as just a child. You're allowed to love that child, and take care of that child, and listen to why they cry.

If you feel like you want to leave this world anyways, why not make the meaning in life finding comfort in yourself, making peace with yourself, being able to empathise with yourself, no matter how other people treat you or think of you as. You deserve that for making it this far.

You're not alone in your suffering. Even if other people's reasons for why they suffer differ from yours.

Sorry if this post was just a rambling mess.