obei
This is the only place where you can say “kys”
- Aug 4, 2023
- 250
So I finished high school last year. I took a year off due to my mental health issues.
I was somewhat fine till recently, so I wanted to go back to preparations for art school. I went a year ago before I decided to take a year off, so I just went to the same woman I went to then, who is the best in the city and has a great success rate.
The thing is, she is very serious woman, and the preparations are hard, at least for my mental health. We should go there 4 times a week for 4 hours, and if you want to go to really serious uni or have better chances of getting in you go 2 times a week to a different person for example for animation or illistration. So its 6 times a week.
I went to consultation, and she told me I should get serious about going (not like last time) if I wanna get to this particular uni, which is rly hard to get in. Also we talked about some easier art schools to get in, but she still told me I gotta go 4 times a week at least.
After that my mental health started crumbling down, and fast. This was like 5 days ago, and I said ill go in 2 days and start then.
I cant stop thinking about how scared I am of going there again, and going to that entrance exam. If I fail ill be a failure, but if I get in (idk if that would be better or worse for me) I would have so much anxiety about going. I remember how hard it was for me to go to art high school entrance exam and starting it there. U might say "well you did it once you can do it again"… but my mental health then was a bit better, it was the last 3 years that it really got worse.
I think I have anxiety attacks, my whole body starts hurting randomly and it gets hard to breathe. Also I struggle to sleep at night, even with meds I take, I got back to alcohol even before this so now I just wanna drink (ill get drunk tonight lol)
I dont see any way other than sucking it up and going through with this, or just get a job at my brothers firm and not go to school (that option my parents hate, they say that "as a woman" I should get a degree since it is hard for us to get a job without it).
Also if you think "It is probably not that bad", trust me, it is. I cant stop thinking about this, and the physical symptoms of this anxiety are really often and scary, I just cant brush them off. Ill be miserable, and I dont even know for how long.
Also my fucking therapist is on break and ill talk to her in 2 weeks, which may not seem long but for me it is, I literally barely survive on going once a week.
Please tell me your opinions, and maybe give me tips on how to get out of anxiety.
I feel like ill go psychotic if this doesnt end and end soon, I started checking things again to make sure nothing can hurt me, and dont really leave my house.
Holy shit this is long…
I was somewhat fine till recently, so I wanted to go back to preparations for art school. I went a year ago before I decided to take a year off, so I just went to the same woman I went to then, who is the best in the city and has a great success rate.
The thing is, she is very serious woman, and the preparations are hard, at least for my mental health. We should go there 4 times a week for 4 hours, and if you want to go to really serious uni or have better chances of getting in you go 2 times a week to a different person for example for animation or illistration. So its 6 times a week.
I went to consultation, and she told me I should get serious about going (not like last time) if I wanna get to this particular uni, which is rly hard to get in. Also we talked about some easier art schools to get in, but she still told me I gotta go 4 times a week at least.
After that my mental health started crumbling down, and fast. This was like 5 days ago, and I said ill go in 2 days and start then.
I cant stop thinking about how scared I am of going there again, and going to that entrance exam. If I fail ill be a failure, but if I get in (idk if that would be better or worse for me) I would have so much anxiety about going. I remember how hard it was for me to go to art high school entrance exam and starting it there. U might say "well you did it once you can do it again"… but my mental health then was a bit better, it was the last 3 years that it really got worse.
I think I have anxiety attacks, my whole body starts hurting randomly and it gets hard to breathe. Also I struggle to sleep at night, even with meds I take, I got back to alcohol even before this so now I just wanna drink (ill get drunk tonight lol)
I dont see any way other than sucking it up and going through with this, or just get a job at my brothers firm and not go to school (that option my parents hate, they say that "as a woman" I should get a degree since it is hard for us to get a job without it).
Also if you think "It is probably not that bad", trust me, it is. I cant stop thinking about this, and the physical symptoms of this anxiety are really often and scary, I just cant brush them off. Ill be miserable, and I dont even know for how long.
Also my fucking therapist is on break and ill talk to her in 2 weeks, which may not seem long but for me it is, I literally barely survive on going once a week.
Please tell me your opinions, and maybe give me tips on how to get out of anxiety.
I feel like ill go psychotic if this doesnt end and end soon, I started checking things again to make sure nothing can hurt me, and dont really leave my house.
Holy shit this is long…
