Venting scared of contacting the only person i care about before i die

[23421]

we're exes now technically. i still deeply care about them, even if ive been essentially ghosted last time i attempted communication. i've sent some emails and got no replies to those, too. i stopped because i don't want to come off as a creepy stalker or anything.

they know im suicidal and agreed to be there for me when i decide to die. they told me i would know if they decide to commit too. but for some reason, im almost certain i will be ignored again if i ask this person to be with me in my last moments. and that might just break my heart even more than not letting them know in the first place.

i don't know. should i even tell them im gonna do it? maybe they forgot about my existence already and it's better if i leave quietly… but i selfishly am so scared of dying alone, and yet there's nobody else i want to talk to during my final minutes in this world.

 

[Eedrah]

i would be completely compelled to ask them if i were in your position, even if i knew there was a chance for them to hurt me more

 

[soledad.virgen]

it's okay to reach out if you have to, there's no shame in it and if they don't say anything back then i really hate to say it but i guess that's all there is to it. im in a similar spot but i say the fear of "are they even gonna care" is worse than just reaching out one last time and being ghosted. personally id rather ctb thinking "at least i tried" than wondering "if only i asked one last time"

but whatever happens im really hoping for the best for u and sending positive vibes

 

[MewtwoIsAlive]

it's okay to reach out if you have to, there's no shame in it and if they don't say anything back then i really hate to say it but i guess that's all there is to it. im in a similar spot but i say the fear of "are they even gonna care" is worse than just reaching out one last time and being ghosted. personally id rather ctb thinking "at least i tried" than wondering "if only i asked one last time"

but whatever happens im really hoping for the best for u and sending positive vibes

I agree.