TeflonMummy
Member
- Apr 1, 2023
- 45
Something I noticed watching a lot of interactions with the police recently is when someone gets caught, they only really have one option; wait until they get fucked in court and watch the rest of their life fall to pieces. Sometimes it's justified, often times it's not. But the thing that always stood out to me is what happens to people caught in this net. It seems for a long time their brain can't understand that there really is no way out. They repeat the same phrases over and over to no resolve. It's really sad to watch.
Hope does some really fucked shit to our minds. We'll keep going through the same motions over and over until we can't anymore, for the hope of something changing. It's never until its over that you can finally let go of hope. I did the same thing for so long; try option A; get result A. Try option B; get result A, and so on till it finally ended. It's a mental loop I followed because I hoped I wouldn't have to go back to picking up the pieces of my life on my own.
I recently abandoned hope, but instead of reaching the pit of despair I thought was waiting for me, it feels so much different. I'm still fighting and hanging on, I feel like myself again. But I have to keep asking myself, am I about to enter the same loop of hope I was before? That now I'm hoping for a chance to strike it out on my own? I can't understand why I keep doing this to myself.
I keep falling into this trap every time I can succeed even though I know I'm guaranteed to fail no matter what I change or try. It's the same emotions every single day in the same order for the last week. I cry, I stand up, I laugh, I get lonely, I wander, I end up wasting my time, and it just keeps going every day.
I want to give up and keep going at the same time and I don't know how to choose.
Hope does some really fucked shit to our minds. We'll keep going through the same motions over and over until we can't anymore, for the hope of something changing. It's never until its over that you can finally let go of hope. I did the same thing for so long; try option A; get result A. Try option B; get result A, and so on till it finally ended. It's a mental loop I followed because I hoped I wouldn't have to go back to picking up the pieces of my life on my own.
I recently abandoned hope, but instead of reaching the pit of despair I thought was waiting for me, it feels so much different. I'm still fighting and hanging on, I feel like myself again. But I have to keep asking myself, am I about to enter the same loop of hope I was before? That now I'm hoping for a chance to strike it out on my own? I can't understand why I keep doing this to myself.
I keep falling into this trap every time I can succeed even though I know I'm guaranteed to fail no matter what I change or try. It's the same emotions every single day in the same order for the last week. I cry, I stand up, I laugh, I get lonely, I wander, I end up wasting my time, and it just keeps going every day.
I want to give up and keep going at the same time and I don't know how to choose.
