Story Rookie Mistake, now in Psych

[Arewethereyet]

Well I fucked up and I'm now on day 5(?) in the psych ward.
I'd tried for days to hang myself successfully, reading threads here, on other sites, watching videos, but couldn't get past the insticts kicking in a making me release the pressure.
I'd decided ages ago I wanted to do a partial suspension as it's meant to be less painful. I had tried and tried to do it in a somewhat kneeling way as it seemed the less scary, but nothing, i never went unconscious.
Finally, last week, I decided to try it with my legs in front of me. I don't remember anything else until I woke up on my floor surrounded by people. I just remember screaming in terror, my vision was nearly gone and no one could understand what i was saying. Someone had pulled me down. I'm disappointed, but it sounded like they got me just in time. They said i was blue and my body was rigid. Apparently i was also having seizures and foaming at the mouth when i was taken down.
The skin on my chest is numb due to ligature damage and i have some bruises on my neck. My tounge is all bitten up. But physically im ok otherwise.
I cant believe, the one time I got it 'right' and went unconcious, I was found.
Moral of the story, don't try and hang yourself if there's a chance someone will find you during. I got lucky that I was found no later as I couldve been a vegetable.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm sorry your plans didn't work out. I know being in a psych ward is not the nicest thing but once you're "free" you can always try again.
The good thing is that you were very well informed and that's why the method seemed to be working. However, there's always the surprise factor, in this case, people finding you.
Something like that happened to me.
Good luck next time. We deserve peace once and for all.

 

[Trayus]

I am sorry this happened to you. What are your plans for the future?

 

[Sk1n1M1n]

Have they decided how long you will be in the psych word for?

 

[Arewethereyet]

I am sorry this happened to you. What are your plans for the future?

I suppose I will try to recover again, as that's what my family wants. And I would like to live a normal life, but I'm not sure it's possible. At least I know what to do if I need to ctb in the future. I can't recall any pain or anything.

Have they decided how long you will be in the psych word for?

No, but I'm voluntarily going to a hopefully better place, to atleast try and get some help..again.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry you didn't get the peace you desired. Nobody should ever be "saved" from hanging. I hope you find peace and happiness in whatever you choose to do next.

 

[EmptyManForever]

Can you explain how you achieved to become unconscious through the partial suspension method? I also try this method but i panic after a certain time and i save myself. Maybe can you explain how to position the body in order to achieve unconsciousness? I have also read many threads here on partial but i just cant seem to figure it out.

 

[LonelyNick]

I have a difference question but feel free to not reply! I have never been in a psych ward, the only one I was in was an old alyssum that was turned into a museum, so I have no knowledge.

Are they allowing people to keep their phones in there? Do you need to hide it of not? I am just surprise you can talk from there.

I guess in my mind they're white padded cells where there's only a bed and nothing else.

Again feel free to not divulge things if you don't want to!

 

[Sk1n1M1n]

They are not like that you are allowed your phone is you are in their voluntary and its mostly a Colm Place to be when you've gor she privacy sorted you have to share a bathroom but your room is for you. Men and women are separated for sleeping dus you mostly have day to yourself. But bring stuff to do as you will get bored and daytime tv is crap... bur you can watch YouTube and Netflix on your ipad and this site wasn't blocked the last time I was in.

 

[Neowise]

Really sorry to hear your plans didn't work out as intended.
Even though it may not seem like it now you can only get out of this situation as a winner sooner or later.
You are no vegetable and gathered more information. Now you know that the position you used works and you can plan more carefully in the future to make sure nobody finds you in time.

Alternatively you have another chance to try and turn your life around. You said that you would like to live a normal life, that shows that you have not completely given up on it yet. After this incident your loved ones might support you even more and maybe you will see things with different eyes knowing that you wouldn't be able to see them anymore at this moment if no one found you.
And if your life doesn't get better you can still choose to try to ctb again.

You got all options left. I can imagine that the psych ward seems uncomfortable, but after that it can only get better for you.
I guess saying "hang in there" would come across as inapprorpiate (my puns are the worst), so I'll just say "stay strong"! I wish you the best for your future and your plans, whatever they will be.

 

[TAW122]

Ugh, that is one of the worst outcomes of failing, barring permanent damage. I'm sorry that things didn't go according to plan and I hope you will find peace whether in recovery or trying again in the future.

 

[LonelyNick]

They are not like that you are allowed your phone is you are in their voluntary and its mostly a Colm Place to be when you've gor she privacy sorted you have to share a bathroom but your room is for you. Men and women are separated for sleeping dus you mostly have day to yourself. But bring stuff to do as you will get bored and daytime tv is crap... bur you can watch YouTube and Netflix on your ipad and this site wasn't blocked the last time I was in.

Thank you for educating me on this experience. I appreciate it. One of the reason I'm scared of CBT is missing my shot and ending up there... This is comforting to know I might still have my phone.

 

[Arewethereyet]

Can you explain how you achieved to become unconscious through the partial suspension method? I also try this method but i panic after a certain time and i save myself. Maybe can you explain how to position the body in order to achieve unconsciousness? I have also read many threads here on partial but i just cant seem to figure it out.

Like this. I used a thinish rope with some fabric for padding at the front.

I have a difference question but feel free to not reply! I have never been in a psych ward, the only one I was in was an old alyssum that was turned into a museum, so I have no knowledge.

Are they allowing people to keep their phones in there? Do you need to hide it of not? I am just surprise you can talk from there.

I guess in my mind they're white padded cells where there's only a bed and nothing else.

Again feel free to not divulge things if you don't want to!

The place im in is like a hospital with wards and you can get your own room when youre in for a while and not high risk. No phones for the first few days. Shared bathrooms etc. Its not great but not the worst either. Worst is the hospital food.

Really sorry to hear your plans didn't work out as intended.
Even though it may not seem like it now you can only get out of this situation as a winner sooner or later.
You are no vegetable and gathered more information. Now you know that the position you used works and you can plan more carefully in the future to make sure nobody finds you in time.

Alternatively you have another chance to try and turn your life around. You said that you would like to live a normal life, that shows that you have not completely given up on it yet. After this incident your loved ones might support you even more and maybe you will see things with different eyes knowing that you wouldn't be able to see them anymore at this moment if no one found you.
And if your life doesn't get better you can still choose to try to ctb again.

You got all options left. I can imagine that the psych ward seems uncomfortable, but after that it can only get better for you.
I guess saying "hang in there" would come across as inapprorpiate (my puns are the worst), so I'll just say "stay strong"! I wish you the best for your future and your plans, whatever they will be.

Thank you

 

[Midnight-rain]

I have a difference question but feel free to not reply! I have never been in a psych ward, the only one I was in was an old alyssum that was turned into a museum, so I have no knowledge.

Are they allowing people to keep their phones in there? Do you need to hide it of not? I am just surprise you can talk from there.

I guess in my mind they're white padded cells where there's only a bed and nothing else.

Again feel free to not divulge things if you don't want to!

Not Op and haven't been in a ward either but wanted to answer. Each ward is different with varying degrees of strictness. Some will take away your phone and clothes. They'll search you to make sure you're not sneaking anything you can hurt yourself with. And as far as I know, the white padded room with a straight jacket scenario is either a myth or only used in extreme cases.

 

[LonelyNick]

Not Op and haven't been in a ward either but wanted to answer. Each ward is different with varying degrees of strictness. Some will take away your phone and clothes. They'll search you to make sure you're not sneaking anything you can hurt yourself with. And as far as I know, the white padded room with a straight jacket scenario is either a myth or only used in extreme cases.

Thank you, being prepared for this is a huge relief...

 

[Lordsudbury]

Just wanted to join the conversation, im surprised many people get found while attempting to hang, for example now during the COVID thing it would not be unusual at all to go "quarantine" alone in a hotel or airbnb or anything.

Personally I'm returning to Canada from Mexico on Saturday and have to spend 14 days alone in an empty apartment. People aren't allowed to visit and I'm not even allowed to leave; perfect time to CTB.

 

[LonelyNick]

Just wanted to join the conversation, im surprised many people get found while attempting to hang, for example now during the COVID thing it would not be unusual at all to go "quarantine" alone in a hotel or airbnb or anything.

Personally I'm returning to Canada from Mexico on Saturday and have to spend 14 days alone in an empty apartment. People aren't allowed to visit and I'm not even allowed to leave; perfect time to CTB.

Agree with this 100% now is the perfect time, with quarantine it's the perfect isolation excuse!!

 

[Hotsackage]

Sorry to hear I hope you're able to find peace in whatever you choose. Can I ask what ligature you used? Thanks

 

[Mysterymeat]

I've been in many psych wards in the US and no phones are allowed, sometimes you can't even use a pencil! Definitely no pens. They don't separate people according to risk too well here. The best place I was in was a private luxury rehab/treatment center that was very lax but cost 30k a month. I'm planning to do partial suspension hanging tonight if I can gather up the guts. I just need a good anchor.
im happy you are choosing to try. I think people should put all their effort into getting well before CTB.Don't be like me and skip therapy. That's an important part, more so than meds. And don't let them put you on 6 different meds like they did to me. Put all your hope and efforts into recovery. When you start to think you want to die, cut off the thought and distract yourself. I'm sorry, just my advice. I wish all of us could get the help we need but for some it doesn't exist. Best of luck to you.

 

[Lordsudbury]

I've been in many psych wards in the US and no phones are allowed, sometimes you can't even use a pencil! Definitely no pens. They don't separate people according to risk too well here. The best place I was in was a private luxury rehab/treatment center that was very lax but cost 30k a month. I'm planning to do partial suspension hanging tonight if I can gather up the guts. I just need a good anchor.
im happy you are choosing to try. I think people should put all their effort into getting well before CTB.Don't be like me and skip therapy. That's an important part, more so than meds. And don't let them put you on 6 different meds like they did to me. Put all your hope and efforts into recovery. When you start to think you want to die, cut off the thought and distract yourself. I'm sorry, just my advice. I wish all of us could get the help we need but for some it doesn't exist. Best of luck to you. ❤

Very good advice.

What do you think about this? -
I spent a lot of money on therapy this year and half was good but half just made me realize how broken and dysfunctional and broken I am as a man - with no guidance as to how to fix it. Of course you can't go back in time. So whenever I have therapy now (over the phone) it just reminds me of how busted up I am anyways.

 

[Mysterymeat]

I know. That's part of the process, realizing what's fucked up about you. What's broken and what needs to be fixed. Most people are broken in many ways and live pointless, miserable lives because they don't have the balls to confront it. You just did that so be proud you've reached that level, seriously. I'd say you need to accept it first and realize it does not make you any less of a man. Maybe that's where your stuck. Support groups are actually really helpful.
I don't know your specific issues but if you aren't getting the guidance you need, I say find another therapist. This whole mindfulness (Buddhist inspired) therapy style seems to be very effective so maybe look for someone who does mindfulness based therapy or ACT therapy. When people overcome that level of depression and despair they usually become amazing, creative people. That's from what I've seen at least. Message me if you'd like but otherwise best of luck!

 

[Sk1n1M1n]

When I was there, I just 5 days listening to music and I couldn't give a fuck about emails, texts, notifications once I had settled from a psychotic break down and began to see reality I was then able to do some colouring, go on youtube and watch telly.