Restart of my life

[Zazacosta]

Hello,

I am following up on my previous threads, I am sorry that I write new venting from me...

Leaving my family vs. rekindle with my family vs. CBT

Hello strangers, I apologize in advance, this post is going to be a little long. :aw: I would also like to thank the moderators for accepting me to the forum.👍 I signed up for this forum primarily because I would like to talk about my problems and the options I have in my situation. I may...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Least possible damage to children

I am sorry for asking this. Consider this situation. Dad is non-functional and cannot give the love to children which they need. This will probably not change. Nobody knows. One children is baby and will not remember him if he leaves. Another one is 6 years old and will remember him, but not so...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I am just about to find a new job, relocate to different city, burn a lot of bridges to so many people... Cut everything bad from my previous life... And divorce with my wife...
We had multiple serious talks with my wife. She does not want to completelly destroy me. She agrees that everything will go in this way...1)Find a job, 2) Relocation, 3) Divorce
I was talking with multiple people from my real life and also online. I thought about this, and agreed with many poeple, that this will be the only chance for me and my family to keep at least something good.

I will try to completelly restart my life somewhere else, alone... And I will try to stay in contact with my family and find my way to have "some" relationship with my wife and children after my divorce.
I am so sad about this, but this is the only way...

I need to find a way to myself first before I will try to find a way to my children.
I hope that I will not fuck this up and I will not end on drugs, or alcohol or in total depression.
I hope I will succeed. I hope my children will not hate me.
I am so scared about the future now...
But I hope I still have more than a half of my life in front of me, I do not want to end yet. I still have the reason to fight.

Probably I will need to talk to somebody, because I will be so lonely in my real life soon. I am willing to support anybody in his struggles in real life as much as I can...
I do not know what to write else...

 

[Life_and_Death]

Probably I will need to talk to somebody, because I will be so lonely in my real life soon.

my dm is open if you ever need anything

 

[Zazacosta]

my dm is open if you ever need anything

Thank you... Right now... I am crying for every letter I just wrote... For every pain I caused in my life to my wife and children...

 

[Zazacosta]

Today I started the new job. The job is so far good.
Yesterday I have moved to a new flat.
I should be happy right now.
But I am not.
Loneliness and depression is taking me :-(