SinisterKid
Visionary
- Jun 1, 2019
- 2,113
A little background if I may.
My parents had a rocky [at best] relationship from the word go. Both very short tempers. They eventually split when I was still only months old. My old man was abusive in a physical way, my mother was more verbal/psychological. When I was only about 2, my step father came into our lives and he was the same as my old man. Violence is my earliest memory. Seeing my own mother with black eyes, broken noses, bruises, cuts, left a lasting impression.
Unbeknown to me, how much of a impression remained buried for a very long time. I only started to realise when I was in therapy.
I have always had this weakness when it comes to women in distress. Whether it be abusive relationships, hardship, pain, it matters not what the issue is, I always, I mean ALWAYS want to try and save them. I want to lead them out of whatever situation is making them so unhappy. Its how I met my current partner. But its always been a subconscious thing, not something I was aware of. I feel physical pain when I read about any woman who is suffering. Sometimes I even cry. I cannot summon up the same emotion when it comes to men because I know what complete and utter bastards we are capable of being.
So it became apparent during therapy that this has always been something that affected me, deeply. I know I am not able to save anyone, or rescue anyone. But I often fantasize about having enough money to buy a great sprawling estate where all the people who are hurting can go to live in peace without the fear of further pain. Men and women. Does anyone else out there have this kind of thing going on in their lives? Being here is unearthing feelings and emotions I thought were dealt with.
My parents had a rocky [at best] relationship from the word go. Both very short tempers. They eventually split when I was still only months old. My old man was abusive in a physical way, my mother was more verbal/psychological. When I was only about 2, my step father came into our lives and he was the same as my old man. Violence is my earliest memory. Seeing my own mother with black eyes, broken noses, bruises, cuts, left a lasting impression.
Unbeknown to me, how much of a impression remained buried for a very long time. I only started to realise when I was in therapy.
I have always had this weakness when it comes to women in distress. Whether it be abusive relationships, hardship, pain, it matters not what the issue is, I always, I mean ALWAYS want to try and save them. I want to lead them out of whatever situation is making them so unhappy. Its how I met my current partner. But its always been a subconscious thing, not something I was aware of. I feel physical pain when I read about any woman who is suffering. Sometimes I even cry. I cannot summon up the same emotion when it comes to men because I know what complete and utter bastards we are capable of being.
So it became apparent during therapy that this has always been something that affected me, deeply. I know I am not able to save anyone, or rescue anyone. But I often fantasize about having enough money to buy a great sprawling estate where all the people who are hurting can go to live in peace without the fear of further pain. Men and women. Does anyone else out there have this kind of thing going on in their lives? Being here is unearthing feelings and emotions I thought were dealt with.
