Venting relapse on my one month

[jacarandash]

im one month clean today, and even though im not trying to recover i can't help but feel disappointed in myself because i have a dreading feeling that im going to relapse today

the worst part? it's over a haircut. i just had the biggest anxiety attack ive had in a long time because of my hair, which i got cut yesterday. the hairdresser did my bangs so uneven that i had to go home and fix it myself, and now it's way too short and i look stupid. my hair is the biggest thing for me when it comes to self confidence, and that confidence is now all gone. never have i felt so useless, the fact im missing opportunities because i don't like the way i look right now is the dumbest thing ever, for my standards in myself at least

hope you're all doing well

 

[Embalmer]

It's definitely not the dumbest thing ever, I've had so many breakdowns over horrible haircuts so I completely understand how upsetting it can be for it to not turn out how you wanted. Especially if you paid for the service and they were supposed to be a professional. But congratulations on being one month clean! Even if you were to relapse, recovery is still always an option whenever you possibly decide to try, it's not an easy thing to do so you should be proud of yourself no matter how far you get. Hopefully, your hair grows out soon, sorry you had a shitty hairdresser </3.