The Disqualified
Disqualified as a Human Being
- Feb 4, 2023
- 113
I was already a reject the moment I was born. I was born into this condition.
Socializing with humans beings has been an endless uphill battle. I could never fit in no matter how hard I tried. The more I think about it the more I realize I never had a normal life at all. My crippling anxiety and fundamentally different nature has prevented me from fitting into human society.
I have been nothing more than a spectator of human society. While others went on to live, love, laugh, I was there on the background withering away. I could never fit in, suffered rejection and internalized all the shame and pain inside myself.
The more I brood over it the more I realize my rejection has become a fundamental component of myself, like a scar so deep it has reached the bone. Every movement brings me immense anguish. It has become part of my identity, this is why it feels so difficult.
My rejection started very early on; at an unspecified time before my birth, I was at some point rejected at the production line. My head forever stamped with a single word: "Rejected", visible for anyone to see.
My life in human society has been lonely, painful and extremely bitter.
I suffered cruelty from fellow students, teachers, family members, mental health professionals, even strangers on the street.
I have been ridiculed for my behavior and way of being countless times.
I have been laughed at by everyone, from family members up to strangers waiting in the bakery line.
I am a coward, or I feel like it. But I also feel empathy for myself. I should have stood up for myself. I feel time passing and it makes me more anxious.
I feel alien to others, and others feel alien to me. I don't feel I connect deeply with anyone. My interests are only mine and I don't share them with people as there is no one that bothers even when I do.
I wish I could try harder, but I just want to rot and die.
I feel like I have been rejected at the factory line.
Socializing with humans beings has been an endless uphill battle. I could never fit in no matter how hard I tried. The more I think about it the more I realize I never had a normal life at all. My crippling anxiety and fundamentally different nature has prevented me from fitting into human society.
I have been nothing more than a spectator of human society. While others went on to live, love, laugh, I was there on the background withering away. I could never fit in, suffered rejection and internalized all the shame and pain inside myself.
The more I brood over it the more I realize my rejection has become a fundamental component of myself, like a scar so deep it has reached the bone. Every movement brings me immense anguish. It has become part of my identity, this is why it feels so difficult.
My rejection started very early on; at an unspecified time before my birth, I was at some point rejected at the production line. My head forever stamped with a single word: "Rejected", visible for anyone to see.
My life in human society has been lonely, painful and extremely bitter.
I suffered cruelty from fellow students, teachers, family members, mental health professionals, even strangers on the street.
I have been ridiculed for my behavior and way of being countless times.
I have been laughed at by everyone, from family members up to strangers waiting in the bakery line.
I am a coward, or I feel like it. But I also feel empathy for myself. I should have stood up for myself. I feel time passing and it makes me more anxious.
I feel alien to others, and others feel alien to me. I don't feel I connect deeply with anyone. My interests are only mine and I don't share them with people as there is no one that bothers even when I do.
I wish I could try harder, but I just want to rot and die.
I feel like I have been rejected at the factory line.
Last edited:
