Venting really ?

[- crybaby -]

How much more can life throw at me?

How much lower do I have to get , how much pain ,how much loss .

2 months ago I lost my son .. my 1 year old baby ...I've been stuck in a mental loop ever since then.
How am I suppose to go on and have the slithest hope?
Never ever did I knew how bad can a heart hurt.
I miss him so bad ..so fucking bad ..
I'm sorry mommy couldn't protect you .

 

[Dead Meat]

I'm so very sorry you lost your son my heart breaks for you

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I can't imagine the pain you must feel. I certainly don't want to recite a bunch of platitudes and tell you that things will get better, although they *may* over time - lots of time. The truth is, I suspect, that you'll always carry the loss with you, although it may lessen, as time goes on, but the hurt will never go away. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Would it help at all to talk about it? Is it too painful to ask how your child died?

 

[- crybaby -]

He was murdered ..killed by his own father .
He was found hanged side by side with his father ..
We have been broken up for over 5 months..it was his usual Saturday overnight ..
And then..this happened .

This feels like the only place I can actually talk about this.
I've drowned myself in work nit even a week after the funeral .
I break down every night after a full day of pretending nothing happened,watching the world around me continuing spinning and working..like it feels so unreal.Only when I get back it hits me ..

 

[Worndown]

There are no words of solace available. Some things are too terrible.
I am very sorry.

 

[Zegers]

Sorry for your situation. How much more can life throw? It could always be worse, you could be stuck in a bed or on the street with no resources to get a coffee. The potential for life to bring you down is astounding.

watching the world around me continuing spinning

It's so strange to feel like this like.. everything in motion and you feel... disconnected, like there's a glass wall or you're in another sort of universe.

 

[- crybaby -]

It's so strange to feel like this like.. everything in motion and you feel... disconnected, like there's a glass wall or you're in another sort of universe.

Worded it perfectly .thank you

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't have the words to express how awful this is. I'm so sorry.

 

[FuneralCry]

That is so incredibly horrific what you've been through, this world where such suffering exists truly is so hellish to me.

 

[Fml]

I'm so very sorry that this horrific thing has happened to you . I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through. If you ever need anyone to talk to I'm always here .

 

[hellispink]

It must be devastating. This world is very cruel.

 

[charlotte_]

I'm so sorry about what you're going through. It must be devastating. Please do talk about it if that makes you feel any better.

 

[Tobacco]

I have lost my job and my first relationship and I feel hopeless towards life but I have never lost a son and I can't start to imagine how it must be.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Horrible what happend to you. This world is sometimes so cruel.

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[birdofafeather]

I want to so badly reach through the screen and just give you a hug. This is abhorrent, and I want to be clear here, what happened isn't your fault. I know it feels that way, and life around you seems to continue normally, while yours is crumbling. I just wanted to express how sorry I am. And if you ever wish to talk to someone, my messages are open.
It's not your fault. I hope your pain eases soon.

 

[TheRedHare]

No matter what you decide, know that you're incredibly strong for getting this far. It cannot be accurately expressed how awful this is and I feel bad even trying to relate. I hope you can find even a granule of solace knowing how strong you truly are and how we are here if you want to relieve some of those repressed thoughts or emotions. I hope you find a better life someday (I would say soon but I won't placate you) and soar as you ought to.

 

[Aisley]

The world should stop turning. I lost someone (not my child- I know nothing compares.) But it was the green in trees, the wind, the cars on the streets. Everything that moved and grew, in complete indifference to the life robbed. I'm so sorry.

 

[- crybaby -]

Thanks for everyone reading my words ,it does feel better to be able to try at least and put these thoughts into words .It's a little relief , talking about him ,keeping his memory alive .