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- crybaby -

- crybaby -

its all wasted .
Mar 17, 2021
70
How much more can life throw at me?

How much lower do I have to get , how much pain ,how much loss .

2 months ago I lost my son .. my 1 year old baby ...I've been stuck in a mental loop ever since then.
How am I suppose to go on and have the slithest hope?
Never ever did I knew how bad can a heart hurt.
I miss him so bad ..so fucking bad ..
I'm sorry mommy couldn't protect you .
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
5,113
I can't imagine the pain you must feel. I certainly don't want to recite a bunch of platitudes and tell you that things will get better, although they *may* over time - lots of time. The truth is, I suspect, that you'll always carry the loss with you, although it may lessen, as time goes on, but the hurt will never go away. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Would it help at all to talk about it? Is it too painful to ask how your child died?
 
- crybaby -

- crybaby -

its all wasted .
Mar 17, 2021
70
He was murdered ..killed by his own father .
He was found hanged side by side with his father ..
We have been broken up for over 5 months..it was his usual Saturday overnight ..
And then..this happened .

This feels like the only place I can actually talk about this.
I've drowned myself in work nit even a week after the funeral .
I break down every night after a full day of pretending nothing happened,watching the world around me continuing spinning and working..like it feels so unreal.Only when I get back it hits me ..
 
Zegers

Zegers

Misfit
Dec 15, 2021
1,756
Sorry for your situation. How much more can life throw? It could always be worse, you could be stuck in a bed or on the street with no resources to get a coffee. The potential for life to bring you down is astounding.
watching the world around me continuing spinning
It's so strange to feel like this like.. everything in motion and you feel... disconnected, like there's a glass wall or you're in another sort of universe.
 
Last edited:
- crybaby -

- crybaby -

its all wasted .
Mar 17, 2021
70
It's so strange to feel like this like.. everything in motion and you feel... disconnected, like there's a glass wall or you're in another sort of universe.
Worded it perfectly .thank you
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
7,275
I don't have the words to express how awful this is. I'm so sorry.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
33,371
That is so incredibly horrific what you've been through, this world where such suffering exists truly is so hellish to me.
 
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Fml

Fml

Girl, interrupted
Aug 24, 2019
72
I'm so very sorry that this horrific thing has happened to you šŸ˜„. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through. If you ever need anyone to talk to I'm always here ā¤ļø.
 
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Tobacco

Tobacco

Efilist. Possible promortalist.
Jan 14, 2023
180
I have lost my job and my first relationship and I feel hopeless towards life but I have never lost a son and I can't start to imagine how it must be.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
7,764
Horrible what happend to you. This world is sometimes so cruel.
 
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birdofafeather

birdofafeather

Just tired
Feb 12, 2023
45
I want to so badly reach through the screen and just give you a hug. This is abhorrent, and I want to be clear here, what happened isn't your fault. I know it feels that way, and life around you seems to continue normally, while yours is crumbling. I just wanted to express how sorry I am. And if you ever wish to talk to someone, my messages are open.
It's not your fault. I hope your pain eases soon.
 
TheRedHare

TheRedHare

Truth Seeking
Feb 26, 2023
16
No matter what you decide, know that you're incredibly strong for getting this far. It cannot be accurately expressed how awful this is and I feel bad even trying to relate. I hope you can find even a granule of solace knowing how strong you truly are and how we are here if you want to relieve some of those repressed thoughts or emotions. I hope you find a better life someday (I would say soon but I won't placate you) and soar as you ought to.
 
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Aisley

Aisley

Wizard
Mar 12, 2023
627
The world should stop turning. I lost someone (not my child- I know nothing compares.) But it was the green in trees, the wind, the cars on the streets. Everything that moved and grew, in complete indifference to the life robbed. I'm so sorry.
 
- crybaby -

- crybaby -

its all wasted .
Mar 17, 2021
70
Thanks for everyone reading my words ,it does feel better to be able to try at least and put these thoughts into words .It's a little relief , talking about him ,keeping his memory alive .
 

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