Venting really tired

[mochiie]

Tired.

Just so damn tired.

Being this tired mentally and physically is so draining and it's really starting to get lonely too. I don't have the motivation that everyone expects of me. I literally wake up and it's like living the same day over and over. Nothing changes. Nothing is exciting anymore. I'm unemployed so I rot in my room with my own thoughts. It's hard for me to get a job regardless because I dropped out of high school my senior year. I wake up and I feel like shit having to remember that. I have to wake up every single morning knowing I'm a disappointment. I ruined my own life. I'm so tired; I just wanna sleep and not have to think about anything. If I could just slip into a coma someday, it would be a dream come true.

Random rant (and first post) but I've been low for a minute and it's slowly eating away at my brain. (˃̵͈᷄⌓˂̵͈᷅)

 

[bluebus]

Hey, I'm really sorry that you feel this way. I can relate to your mental and physical exhaustion. Waking up in the morning is the hardest thing for me, and I used to love getting up early. Please don't think your life is over because you dropped out of highschool, or because you're unemployed. Neither of those things reflect on your character. They are meaningless in the grand scheme of things. I understand the feeling of being a disappointment- it is an extremely painful and complex emotion, and I'm sorry you are dealing with it. I would love to just fall asleep and never wake up too. It would be a dream come true. I can see you're in a lot of pain and I'm sorry about that. Life isn't always fair and it can be so extremely painful. Please go easy on yourself though (as easy as that sounds I know). You deserve peace. If you ever need to talk please feel free to reach out. All the best, bb

P.S Congrats on your first post :)

 

[mochiie]

Hey, I'm really sorry that you feel this way. I can relate to your mental and physical exhaustion. Waking up in the morning is the hardest thing for me, and I used to love getting up early. Please don't think your life is over because you dropped out of highschool, or because you're unemployed. Neither of those things reflect on your character. They are meaningless in the grand scheme of things. I understand the feeling of being a disappointment- it is an extremely painful and complex emotion, and I'm sorry you are dealing with it. I would love to just fall asleep and never wake up too. It would be a dream come true. I can see you're in a lot of pain and I'm sorry about that. Life isn't always fair and it can be so extremely painful. Please go easy on yourself though (as easy as that sounds I know). You deserve peace. If you ever need to talk please feel free to reach out. All the best, bb

P.S Congrats on your first post :)

Thank you. You're very kind. I'm thankful you took time out of your day to talk to me, it means a lot.

 

[Lulzacruel]

I'm always tired just browsing sasu since i stay up so early till 5 or 6 am after a powernap from 9 PM to 2 am

 

[mochiie]

I'm always tired just browsing sasu since i stay up so early till 5 or 6 am after a powernap from 9 PM to 2 am

Haha! That's sounds exactly like what I'm doing right now too.

 

[CheekyPhobia]

People will attempt to counter this with assertions that you just need to "pull yourself up by your bootstraps!". At some point, for many of us, we just have to acknowledge that life has been far too devastating for us, so little joy and it's always pulled away immediately. Why try and fix my situation? What's the point? What if you were never given boots in the first place, what do you pull yourself up by then? So I can continue living the same miserable situation in a slightly nicer house? I've lost any will for that as well. I was born to incompetent parents and though I love them, it's still over for me. NEETing isnt comfortable but it's all you know and when you can't interact with the world properly then thats all you can do.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it's really understandable just wishing to sleep as existing here certainly can be so dreadful, to me it sounds so peaceful to be completely unaware of everything. But anyway best wishes.