Venting Rape and being a hoe

[Exhausted1705]

It's scary how much contempt some men have for women and how capable some are of truly objectifying us, regarding us as object bodies. And I say that as someone who's had some wonderful men in her life too.

I know this is a pro choice forum but having heard your story, can you consider holding on for a bit and seeing if you can heal?

The thing is my life is more than just that one problem

I've been an escorts for years and started very early. It's been over 10 years I'm out of the industry. With therapy I found out that my sexual abusive past and rapes experience were the reason I went in the sex industry.
I wish I went to therapy before.
Now I feel ashamed and nobody around me knows about this part of my life.
Not to forget my vision of men that is impossible to erase.
The sex industry will give you the type of trauma that only affects you when you try to have a normal sex and love life.

I would recommend to look for organizations that helps sex workers ( so they won't judge you) call them and ask the the ressources for consultation.

Trust me you are worth way more than what a man will make you feel like.


Love ♥

Thank you

if youre going to kill yourself get a hotel room and do it. Putting family members through that level of trauma is unfair. Unless they are vile animals or something.

I am broke, I have R9 in my account

 

[Meditation guide]

Sometimes I dream about falling in love and being happy despite being a slut.

No need to judge yourself harshly. Having sex isn't a sin, nor is having multiple sex partners. Don't buy into that kind of women hating thing. Don't call yourself hate names. You are taking onto yourself the judgements of others who despise women. If you like having sex accept that about yourself.

I'm also puzzled by how you say you lost your virginity but you didn't really care. It sounds like you think that's a bad thing too. It's not, it's normal.

You also say "I was a real hoe". It's the first time I've heard anyone actually slut-shaming themself.

 

[oneanonymous]

I still haven't told anyone that I actually know that I've been raped. I don't think I ever will. I've seen how women are treated, even "respectable women" when they come out about their rape and I know I wouldn't be able to handle that. It's very brave of you to do that, truly. It's just unbelievable how common it is for the women to be blamed. My situation was back in my party days and the people who knew me during those times will probably say similar things, that I'm either making it up or that it was my fault (being a drunk slut). So I just keep it to myself.
Just a few months ago, I had to listen to my brother talk about how women are conditioned to feel traumatized after a rape and that they exaggerate their trauma, because you never see men whining about being raped. Yeah. Also, the reason the world is in the state it is (including men being horrible) is because women are selective breeders. Yeah, he said that too. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
Having lots of sex is nothing to be ashamed about, although we really ARE conditioned to believe that. You are worth more than your body, and other people don't get to dictate YOUR worth. Even though I can't even listen to my own advice, don't let people drag you down. Trust me, I know it's easier said than done and I haven't even figured out how to do that either, but I know a tremendous weight will be lifted once we get to that point. Maybe I should try harder myself, because damn that sounds nice.
There are very caring, loving men out there that will love you for you and won't care about your past, and it is possible for you to meet that man. Best of luck to you. I hope you find peace, no matter what you decide.

 

[Ijustwantpeace]

That's quite rude and her family members contributed to her trauma.
Where are the mods??

Mods for what? You really going to censor my opinion of not putting others through trauma? I wish the best for op, im just stating my opinion. If thats not allowed fair enough.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Mods for what? You really going to censor my opinion of not putting others through trauma? I wish the best for op, im just stating my opinion. If thats not allowed fair enough.

Read the rules bruh
"
Do Not

• Harass, bully, or insult other members.
  • Do not harass, bully, insult, or attack members, no matter the reason. If they break the rules, report them. Do not troll or proselytize, meaning do not impose your views - no matter what they are - on others or make threads to get people riled up."

 

[Belit667]

Read the rules bruh
"
Do Not

• Harass, bully, or insult other members.
  • Do not harass, bully, insult, or attack members, no matter the reason. If they break the rules, report them. Do not troll or proselytize, meaning do not impose your views - no matter what they are - on others or make threads to get people riled up."

Did you report it, Kapo?

 

[Linda]

Read the rules bruh
"
Do Not

• Harass, bully, or insult other members.
  • Do not harass, bully, insult, or attack members, no matter the reason. If they break the rules, report them. Do not troll or proselytize, meaning do not impose your views - no matter what they are - on others or make threads to get people riled up."

Fellow users, I think it would be sensible to lower the temperature. The original post by @Ijustwantpeace could have been phrased better, but most of us express ourselves less than perfectly now and again. I think it would be best to let the matter drop.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Did you report it, Kapo?

Haha, I'm Kapo? Good one.
Neah, didn't report, my delicate fingers are quite selective.
What irked me is that they mentioned trauma to the parents when the parents didn't believe that OP was raped!

 

[Ijustwantpeace]

Haha, I'm Kapo? Good one.
Neah, didn't report, my delicate fingers are quite selective.
What irked me is that they mentioned trauma to the parents when the parents didn't believe that OP was raped!

she lives with her aunt and cousin. did you read the post? Or do you enjoy lashing out on people.

 

[Linda]

she lives with her aunt and cousin. did you read the post? Or do you enjoy lashing out on people.

Please, put this flame war to bed.

 

[Ijustwantpeace]

Please, put this flame war to bed.

I wont any fan it any further. Maybe I need to familiarize myself with the rules a bit more before posting.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

she lives with her aunt and cousin. did you read the post? Or do you enjoy lashing out on people.

Okay your win but please try to be kind in the way you express yourself.

She mentioned

Thing is they don't belive my rapes

I.e. family members. We don't know if it involved the extended family but I reckon the aunt might be in the know

 

[Meditation guide]

Read the rules bruh

Can we please not lecture people?

 

[ravergirl]

I'm sorry you feel like calling yourself a "slut". I'm amazed and horrified whenever I hear anyone calling themself that. No reason to put yourself down in such a hateful way. You did what you needed to do at the time. Sex is not a sin. Nor is getting paid for it.

The word "slut" is no different from people being called the "n" word. It's a hate word. It should be forever deleted. There is no shame in being a sex worker.

Some of us have reclaimed that word, much like LGBTQ people have reclaimed the word "queer".

And? is that a big deal?

I'm surprised someone who has been a sex worker all that time has this type of "look how awful I am" attitude about it. It's really not that big a deal as far as needing to feel like you should be condemned for it. You seem to be rolling around in self condemnation.

Did I say I was awful? I was trying to show the OP that I could empathize with her because I've been in similar situations. I have no shame about the things I've done, or the things I enjoy. My point, had you cared to pay attention, was that despite the fact that I like to have sex with strangers it's still rape if someone has sex with me without consent. I was trying to tell the OP that she doesn't deserve what's happened to her.

Nothing I said indicated self-condemnation. Not sure why you think I'm "rolling" in it. I'm a very sex-positive person.

 

[Meditation guide]

Some of us have reclaimed that word, much like LGBTQ people have reclaimed the word "queer".



Did I say I was awful? I was trying to show the OP that I could empathize with her because I've been in similar situations. I have no shame about the things I've done, or the things I enjoy. My point, had you cared to pay attention, was that despite the fact that I like to have sex with strangers it's still rape if someone has sex with me without consent. I was trying to tell the OP that she doesn't deserve what's happened to her.

Nothing I said indicated self-condemnation. Not sure why you think I'm "rolling" in it. I'm a very sex-positive person.

I guess I didn't understand then. Sorry, it sounded like it to me. My mistake. I always thought slut was a word showing contempt. Slut means what, someone who has a lot of sex? That would mean half the world is full of sluts.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Can we please not lecture people?

I apologized

 

[Deleted member 17949]

You're being too harsh in yourself. Having an active sex life from your late teenage years is pretty normal and possibly healthy for some people. I don't see you as having done anything wrong here.

Your situation with respect to the abuse sounds horrible. I am sorry you had to deal with all that from a young age.

I don't know how certain you are about suicide, but I don't think you're a bad person and I hope some positive things can happen to you.

 

[Fedrea]

The thing is my life is more than just that one problem

I'm sorry, I hear you.

I still hope you can heal. Being fucking gaslit on rape, that kind of shit, that is what people should heal from, cos it's never your fault

 

[Meditation guide]

I don't see any need to call sex workers or women who have lots of sex with multiple partners any particular special word. I see nothing about them to differentiate them from any other female. It's not a special category of female.

There are too many derogatory words for women which simply normalize a general hatred of women in society.

Lots of women have lots of sex with more than one partner. Can't we move on from this 1950's version of singling out women for their "shameful" sex lives?