Rant on Love - Does it Make Any Sense

[Silently Dying]

I'm so sad. Sad because there are so many good people on this site. I believe that the majority of people here only want one thing to be loved. Sounds so simple, but to be loved is to have water and air. It's necessary not just a want or need. It just sounds so simple. The world we live in is harsh and hateful. People are so cruel to each other. I don't understand why. I'm old and never been loved not sure why I've stuck around as long as I have. I dont understand. It makes no sense. It makes me so happy to love someone - it gives me purpose but when it's not reciprocated or someone tells you they care/love you and they just want something from you it's so painful. It makes me feel used and worthless. I wish i could stop loving people, but it's not who I am. I've changed enough to the point where I don't know who I am anymore. I dont want to change that no matter how much it hurts.

 

[Darkover]

love can't really be real in an absolute sense if it's one-sided or temporary. If one person deeply loves another but that love fades for the other person, then what was it in the first place? A shared illusion? A fleeting state of mind?

Nothing truly belongs to us—not people, not feelings, not even our own emotions, because they change over time. Love is often romanticized as something eternal, but in reality, it's conditional. It depends on circumstances, emotions, and time. If love were truly real in the way people claim, it wouldn't vanish, it wouldn't be unbalanced, and it wouldn't leave people feeling abandoned or betrayed.

Maybe love is more of a temporary experience rather than a permanent thing. It exists in the moment but isn't something anyone can own or guarantee. And that makes it fragile, unreliable, and ultimately, maybe even meaningless.

Romantic attraction is largely influenced by hormones like:
Dopamine (pleasure and reward)
Oxytocin (bonding and trust)
Testosterone & Estrogen (sexual attraction)
Vasopressin (long-term attachment)

These chemicals drive initial attraction and bonding, but their effects wear off over time. This is why the "honeymoon phase" of relationships—where everything feels intense and exciting—tends to last only about 1-2 years. After that, many couples start to drift apart.

There's also an evolutionary perspective:
Humans evolved to form bonds mainly to raise children together.
Once the child is old enough, the biological need to stay together decreases.
This might explain why so many relationships don't last forever.

 

[divinemistress87]

love can't really be real in an absolute sense if it's one-sided or temporary. If one person deeply loves another but that love fades for the other person, then what was it in the first place? A shared illusion? A fleeting state of mind?

Nothing truly belongs to us—not people, not feelings, not even our own emotions, because they change over time. Love is often romanticized as something eternal, but in reality, it's conditional. It depends on circumstances, emotions, and time. If love were truly real in the way people claim, it wouldn't vanish, it wouldn't be unbalanced, and it wouldn't leave people feeling abandoned or betrayed.

Maybe love is more of a temporary experience rather than a permanent thing. It exists in the moment but isn't something anyone can own or guarantee. And that makes it fragile, unreliable, and ultimately, maybe even meaningless.

Romantic attraction is largely influenced by hormones like:
Dopamine (pleasure and reward)
Oxytocin (bonding and trust)
Testosterone & Estrogen (sexual attraction)
Vasopressin (long-term attachment)

These chemicals drive initial attraction and bonding, but their effects wear off over time. This is why the "honeymoon phase" of relationships—where everything feels intense and exciting—tends to last only about 1-2 years. After that, many couples start to drift apart.

There's also an evolutionary perspective:
Humans evolved to form bonds mainly to raise children together.
Once the child is old enough, the biological need to stay together decreases.
This might explain why so many relationships don't last forever.

Well said. I feel bad when younger people on here say they want to ctb over love. Its just chemicals that are produced to get you to procreate from my cynical point of view