Discussion People that give a bad name to those suicidal for love

[fluorescentpearl]

It bothers me that I keep seeing people that are "so determined" to die for love yet they either cheated or never loved their partner or were physically abusive or were w their partner for only a few months..

And when someone comes out to be "so perfect" and having loved their partner so much they end up being a serial cheater that manipulates and lies and is never truthful..

I understand hurting uur partner by accident, or illness causing a wedge in the relationship, those are fully understandable things, but I'm starting to understand why humans think I'm insane when I wanna die for love, even though I'm not like those people at all

 

[yui.]

I don't understand why people cheat on the person they claim to "love." If you really love someone, it becomes physically repulsive to do something that would hurt them.

sometimes I think the people who cheat and then claim to love someone are just demons posing to be human in order to torture us.

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I don't understand why people cheat on the person they claim to "love." If you really love someone, it becomes physically repulsive to do something that would hurt them.

sometimes I think the people who cheat and then claim to love someone are just demons posing to be human in order to torture us.

I fully agree.. I cannot even imagine doing that to my beloved, a girl I knew had a crush on me and wanted to be with me and I tried to entertain her out of guilt, I was also ill and trying to deal with a rape on the side so I thought I should keep myself a "public property" to not make my beloved dislike me.. But I couldn't do it, I couldn't at all, I kept breaking down telling him I didn't want to and crying to him that I wished she'd die and I'd never met her, I can't imagine wanting to do smt like that on purpose..

 

[sacrilegeofsouls]

I fully agree.. I cannot even imagine doing that to my beloved, a girl I knew had a crush on me and wanted to be with me and I tried to entertain her out of guilt, I was also ill and trying to deal with a rape on the side so I thought I should keep myself a "public property" to not make my beloved dislike me.. But I couldn't do it, I couldn't at all, I kept breaking down telling him I didn't want to and crying to him that I wished she'd die and I'd never met her, I can't imagine wanting to do smt like that on purpose..

I'm sorry I don't understand why would your beloved be upset if you weren't a "public property"?

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I'm sorry I don't understand why would your beloved be upset if you weren't a "public property"?

I was struggling with a rape and my illness made me convinced of that, he would've never wanted that for me

 

[sacrilegeofsouls]

I don't understand why people cheat on the person they claim to "love." If you really love someone, it becomes physically repulsive to do something that would hurt them.

sometimes I think the people who cheat and then claim to love someone are just demons posing to be human in order to torture us.

I agree too I also hate the concept of having to choose your partner I hate how that is promoted as a healthy relationship nowadays why should anyone have to choose their partner above anything against what? Nothing else should even be considered if they ever truly loved them they would only desire their partner and not see any other options but them they wouldn't have to choose them above anyone. It's almost like saying people need self control to not cheat how pathetic it's almost as infuriating as people that say they cheated on accident or impulse I think if they truly loved their partner they never would've had such an impulse to begin with. Anyway sorry for the random rant

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Committing suicide for someone who no longer wants a relationship with you is (aside from everything else) an act of incredible disrespect towards them and yourself. When we actually love someone, we respect their feelings, their boundaries, and their ability to make the right decisions for themselves. If they choose to end the relationship, that is their choice, whether we like it or not. Love is not about manipulation or control. Love is worth nothing without respect. Respect for how they feel and what they want, even if that doesn't include us. So, you are giving them a bad name. You do not respect him or yourself.

 

[moriix]

Committing suicide for someone who no longer wants a relationship with you is (aside from everything else) an act of incredible disrespect towards them and yourself. When we actually love someone, we respect their feelings, their boundaries, and their ability to make the right decisions for themselves. If they choose to end the relationship, that is their choice, whether we like it or not. Love is not about manipulation or control. Love is worth nothing without respect. Respect for how they feel and what they want, even if that doesn't include us. So, you are giving them a bad name. You do not respect him or yourself.

how is ctbing over heartbreak an act of manipulation? what would exactly be the point of said manipulation here? she's not saying that she keeps banging on her ex's door and begging him to take her back. she's making a decision over her OWN life, how is this disrespectful towards her ex???

what is this weird ass guilt tripping supposed to achieve? do you really think you are being helpful or kind towards this person? if you have nothing decent to say, just dont say anything. you talk so much about respect yet you don't seem to respect the members of this forum whose motivations for ctb differ from yours or from those you find "acceptable". the decision is not up to you.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

how is ctbing over heartbreak an act of manipulation? what would exactly be the point of said manipulation here? she's not saying that she keeps banging on her ex's door and begging him to take her back. she's making a decision over her OWN life, how is this disrespectful towards her ex???

what is this weird ass guilt tripping supposed to achieve? do you really think you are being helpful or kind towards this person? if you have nothing decent to say, just dont say anything. you talk so much about respect yet you don't seem to respect the members of this forum whose motivations for ctb differ from yours or from those you find "acceptable". the decision is not up to you.

Because she's operating on the false belief that she will be reunited with him when she CTB's, even though he's very much alive. He may be married to someone else for the next 40 years, have kids, grandkids, a full life filled with memories & she will have CTB'd over a delusion.

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Committing suicide for someone who no longer wants a relationship with you is (aside from everything else) an act of incredible disrespect towards them and yourself. When we actually love someone, we respect their feelings, their boundaries, and their ability to make the right decisions for themselves. If they choose to end the relationship, that is their choice, whether we like it or not. Love is not about manipulation or control. Love is worth nothing without respect. Respect for how they feel and what they want, even if that doesn't include us. So, you are giving them a bad name. You do not respect him or yourself.

How am I disrespecting him by ending my own life by my own accord, I'm not going to him asking for a relationship anymore, I just cannot live without my love anymore, I've been through enough and he was the one entity I lived for

 

[moriix]

Because she's operating on the false belief that she will be reunited with him when she CTB's, even though he's very much alive. He may be married to someone else for the next 40 years, have kids, grandkids, a full life filled with memories & she will have CTB'd over a delusion.

okay but that is not the only reason she wants to ctb... you know nothing about her or her life, you are making these harsh conclusions based off a few posts you read from her. a person whose life was perfectly fine before the breakup would usually not want to suddenly ctb after it. and even if that was the case--do you really think you can convince her otherwise with these mean-spirited comments? this kind of "tough love" just pushes away people further into their shells. it does not work.

moreover, nobody actually knows for sure what happens after death. we can only guess. she has her own guess and beliefs--do you also call all Christians delusional for believing they will go to heaven after death? why is a belief of eternal nothingness after death the only non-delusional one? we have no proof on what factually happens to our consciousness after death, none. so why are her beliefs delusional and yours are not? why is she not allowed to comfort herself with the thought of reuniting with her partner after death? you are taking an already very depressed and vulnerable person and just contributing further to their depression. your approach is very cold and unempathetic.

 

[Estrella87]

Is he the "only" (I'm not saying it's few by the word only) reason you want to ctb? Is he really worth it that's the question. Since when do you think about this, is it really well thought and not only impulsive? When are you planning to do it?

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Is he the "only" (I'm not saying it's few by the word only) reason you want to ctb? Is he really worth it that's the question. Since when do you think about this, is it really well thought and not only impulsive? When are you planning to do it?

I'm not impulsive and it is very thought out, my life on this planet was disgustingly horrible and I'm tired of pretending like it wasn't, he was my only last rock and the only reason I had to keep going, I really don't mind dying after he left, this world ruined me enough, I can't let it ruin me even in my last moments before I end myself for love

 

[Estrella87]

I hope at least he will understand how much you suffered and feel regretful... Your life your choice as any of us, but it seems extreme unless you have other reasons ofc.

 

[lastappleonearth]

How am I disrespecting him by ending my own life by my own accord, I'm not going to him asking for a relationship anymore, I just cannot live without my love anymore, I've been through enough and he was the one entity I lived for

I think this is perfectly understandable in a way. Also I think you can literally die of a broken heart on your own without ctb in theory. Although thats very rare, but its a phenomenon, which exists as far as I know

 

[YourLocalEdgelord]

Yikes, imagine tone policing on a suicide forum. Don't listen to them, pearl. If they really wanted to help, they'd approach this conversation differently.

On topic: it sickens me how easily supposed loved ones throw each other away like their time together meant nothing. Differences in libido? Bye. I changed my future plans? Bye. Don't like my opinion? Oops, my hand slipped. Most of them just seek their own benefits. Words lost all meaning. Love truly isn't love these days. I don't get why empathy and loyalty disappeared.

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Yikes, imagine tone policing on a suicide forum. Don't listen to them, pearl. If they really wanted to help, they'd approach this conversation differently.

On topic: it sickens me how easily supposed loved ones throw each other away like their time together meant nothing. Differences in libido? Bye. I changed my future plans? Bye. Don't like my opinion? Oops, my hand slipped. Most of them just seek their own benefits. Words lost all meaning. Love truly isn't love these days. I don't get why empathy and loyalty disappeared.

I fully agree with that, it's so difficult to find someone that will actually choose to stay and communicate issues rather than up and run off so suddenly as soon as anything they don't like happens, people are just commodities, you can always find more fish in the sea, which I guess is true if your goal is to be a fisherman, but my goal is to find someone that understands me that's willing to continue and communicate, yk?
Love has become an easily replaceable horrible thing nowadays, if your current one isn't nice enough you can just throw it out and get a new one

 

[YourLocalEdgelord]

I fully agree with that, it's so difficult to find someone that will actually choose to stay and communicate issues rather than up and run off so suddenly as soon as anything they don't like happens, people are just commodities, you can always find more fish in the sea, which I guess is true if your goal is to be a fisherman, but my goal is to find someone that understands me that's willing to continue and communicate, yk?
Love has become an easily replaceable horrible thing nowadays, if your current one isn't nice enough you can just throw it out and get a new one

Well said. It has become a business contract. A marketplace, even. It's depressing.

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

I never cheated on my other half, but i did consider breaking up with him towards the end of the relationship. Basically I didnt see my life goals (starting a family) being compatible with dating him. The realization that I would have to choose was killing me, and I planned to break up with him but couldn't bring myself to do it. For good reason.

Ironically, he ended up blocking me largely because of the mental instability caused by me mulling this decision over.

For a few weeks after the break up, I thought I could carry on. But by the time it was like a month later, I realized that my goals were fucking stupid. I needed him.

Its been 4 months exactly today. I now have 3 attempts under my belt. Hopefully the 4th time is the charm, to be honest. I need to get that fentanyl and then maybe give reaching out to him one last try. Then if that goes poorly, which it probably will, then I'll have the motivation to do it.