Ill probably regret everything im about to post as it's mostly the booze and my head talking, but fuck it.
To my 4 siblings, i hate you guys.
No, ok not hate, but like resent. Strongly.
1, enjoy treating me like shit with your very mature passive aggressive little schemes while you can, because once i kill myself, i garantee you're the next black sheep.
No, you dont already know what its like. Not fucking close yet.
2, I wasn't honest with you
I never forgave you.
You let out your ridiculous teenage angst on me and im supposed to comfort you?
You're 7 years older and i was supposed tp be the mature one?
If i had told you how i really felt that night, we both know you would have ran to the parents, you know they always took your side. That must be nice.
Dont run your mouth with victim blaming when thats exactly what you did to me.
You dont have a shred of the dignity you want to think you have.
You are not special. Being a woman does not make you special and certainly not a good person. You're a coward.
All your activism is not about how unfair it actually is, but just about you being a control freak.
So im manipulative?
Yeah i guess i learned from the best.
Get off your high horse, you dont fool anyone.
You're still an insecure teenage girl.
3, Im so sorry dude.
So sorry im such an embarassment to you.
No i wasn't faking it for attention.
Im legit autistic.
Im so sorry i ruined your normal childhood.
So sorry you had so many friends, so sorry you're successful, sorry you got married and got two beautiful kids.
Sorry you're the only normal one.
So sorry i did not ditch your bachelor party.
I reaally wanted to be there. Thanks for inviting me by the way.
The 'oh fuck, not him' look you had when you saw me was priceless. I wouldnt have missed it for the world. Even your friends saw it. Also for yelling at me for no reason in front of them.
Thank you SO much for that.
For your casual insults in front of your wife and kids too.
Love you, bro.
You re not exactly a breeze either.
Remember that.
4, first i need to pay you my respects, because you really had me going for a long time.
I really thought we were close, but apparently i was just a crutch for you just like the others.
But no, now that you're higher in the social chain, you start treating me like shit too.
Well nice.
No, really that's good.
It means you're normal.
Who the hell do you think you are though?
From where do you picture you can look down on me, pat my head and call me a child when the smallest thought of being judged sends you on crying fits?
What youre projecting it's not confidence. It's condescencion. You can keep telling yourself its not but we both know the only person you're trying to convince is yourself.
Im sincerely sorry to see you heading the same path as me relationship wise.
Im not going to be here for you when it falls apart.
No, i dont share your political views.
But frankly im hurt you could think it means im your enemy.
Im hurt you were seriously 'afraid to ask me' if im one of those pieces of shit.
You need to get off you're high horse too.
You call me a kid and look at me with spite, roll your eyes at me, but im supposed to stay silent because you dont like being confronted with your shitty side?
Isnt that...deflecting the blame on the victim?
Could you be as hypocritical as 90% of other people?
I remember you got ostracized and bullied too.
You know how that feels like, but still you threw me down the road right the second you got better.
Im angry, but mostly disappointed. I thought you were better than that.
But i guess i lie to myself too.
And sure, i know i was really obnoxious, loud and cringy and absolutely still am.
But dont you all dare act like you're so much better.
Im the most pathetic, sure, but the five of us are absolute losers.
The 7 of us are the whole familys losers and Im sick of having you pretend im the only one.
You act like i ruined you all when you did exactly the same to me.
Fuck you. I love you, but fuck you and your attitude.
To my uncles and aunts and grandparents and some cousins who will know who they are, eat dicks.
Arent you supposed to be christians?
I thought you were supposed to be good people, but you blindsided me from the beginning. You didnt leave me a chance.
Fuck you and your attitude.
I know i suck, but you're also major dicks.
When i finally go, i know you will just act as if i never existed.
Well i did, and i feel nothing for you.
You're nothing but strangers i have to put up with.
Fuck this family.
