Discussion Post attempt did you ever get trauma in which helped you recover

[Wolff603]

I am just curious about other people. I remember back in June doing some taboo method with a belt, it hurt like hell, but I gritted through it and was about to pass out, but got scared and chickened out I was like throwing up and tweaking for hours and although for the next 6 months everyday I would wake up with pure dread and want to rechallenge it I was always too scared from the shock in that moment.

 

[sanctionedusage]

after a few botched "attempts" and dangerous behaviors that werent necessarily suicidal, i became extremely nervous, paranoid, and suffered w extreme guilt. it actually crossed into spiritual ocd territory, but it ultimately made me recover.

obviously, over time, i recovered from that too though. once im back to a stable baseline, i end up back here.

recovery stemming from fear, guilt, or trauma doesn't really last. it lasted a year or two for me, but everything i did or didn't do was out of terror of feeling that way again or being 'punished' for my past suicidal tendencies and 'bad thoughts.' it was basically compulsive 'recovery.'

recovering for real has to come out of a will to get better for the sake of getting better; otherwise, as soon as you make peace with the scary part, you'll come right back, with an even lower chance of being scared out of it a second time.

 

[Wolff603]

"recovering for real has to come out of a will to get better for the sake of getting better; otherwise, as soon as you make peace with the scary part, you'll come right back, with an even lower chance of being scared out of it a second time"


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