Discussion Drowning, Part 2

[tinyfox]

I recently started a thread about drowning , and many people wrote to me saying that it's very painful and that I should look for another method.

I'm also considering full hanging and taking sodium nitrite, but I'm still considering drowning as my first option. Let me explain why...

I'm really scared to attempt CTB when I know I might survive. What scares me most is the possibility that something could go wrong and I'd wake up with irreversible brain damage. That's what terrifies me the most—and the thought of how I'd look my loved ones in the eye afterward. These thoughts are unbearable to me. I'm also afraid that at the moment of FSH, when I have to take that step, I won't be able to bring myself to do it and will just stand there frozen in fear—and I won't have another chance anytime soon, since I'll only have a couple of hours for everything... I don't live alone, so I can't attempt CTB when it's convenient for me; if I leave the house, they'll start looking for me right away. That's why I have little time and can't calmly plan and do things whenever I want.

But when it comes to drowning, I have almost no third option—I'll either drown or swim to shore. The possibility that I'll be rescued and pulled out of the water while unconscious is unlikely. When you take a step toward death, it's important to me to know that you're leaving 100%.
And with sodium nitrite, there are even more questions, since I can't verify the source or know for sure if I'm buying a pure product. Plus, it might make you throw up, and something could go wrong. And if the attempt fails, SN could harm my health and exacerbate my problems, making my life even more unbearable.
That's exactly why I'm considering drowning first and foremost—because I want to know that there's either death or a way to get back out without any harm to my health in the end.

I'm thinking about the best way to go about this. Right now, I'm planning to swim out to deep water in sea on an inflatable mattress during the day, in broad daylight. I'll have handcuffs in my chest pouch. I want to put the handcuffs on crosswise, with one side on my right arm and the other on my left leg. In this position, I won't be able to roll onto my back and rest, since I'll be in the fetal position, and it seems to me that in this position I'll sink to the bottom immediately and lose consciousness in a couple of minutes.
I also have 15 benzodiazepine tranquilizers; I'm thinking of taking one before I start to dull my senses and sink faster.
The sea water is currently between 16 and 20 degrees. It'll be even colder at depth, and the water is calm with no waves. I'm still hoping that, thanks to the handcuffs and panic, I'll get tired quickly, swallow some water, and sink to the bottom.

What do you think I could add or change to this method to achieve the effect even faster?

 

[ZeroRedz02]

I recently started a thread about drowning , and many people wrote to me saying that it's very painful and that I should look for another method.

I'm also considering full hanging and taking sodium nitrite, but I'm still considering drowning as my first option. Let me explain why...

I'm really scared to attempt CTB when I know I might survive. What scares me most is the possibility that something could go wrong and I'd wake up with irreversible brain damage. That's what terrifies me the most—and the thought of how I'd look my loved ones in the eye afterward. These thoughts are unbearable to me. I'm also afraid that at the moment of FSH, when I have to take that step, I won't be able to bring myself to do it and will just stand there frozen in fear—and I won't have another chance anytime soon, since I'll only have a couple of hours for everything... I don't live alone, so I can't attempt CTB when it's convenient for me; if I leave the house, they'll start looking for me right away. That's why I have little time and can't calmly plan and do things whenever I want.

But when it comes to drowning, I have almost no third option—I'll either drown or swim to shore. The possibility that I'll be rescued and pulled out of the water while unconscious is unlikely. When you take a step toward death, it's important to me to know that you're leaving 100%.
And with sodium nitrite, there are even more questions, since I can't verify the source or know for sure if I'm buying a pure product. Plus, it might make you throw up, and something could go wrong. And if the attempt fails, SN could harm my health and exacerbate my problems, making my life even more unbearable.
That's exactly why I'm considering drowning first and foremost—because I want to know that there's either death or a way to get back out without any harm to my health in the end.

I'm thinking about the best way to go about this. Right now, I'm planning to swim out to deep water in sea on an inflatable mattress during the day, in broad daylight. I'll have handcuffs in my chest pouch. I want to put the handcuffs on crosswise, with one side on my right arm and the other on my left leg. In this position, I won't be able to roll onto my back and rest, since I'll be in the fetal position, and it seems to me that in this position I'll sink to the bottom immediately and lose consciousness in a couple of minutes.
I also have 15 benzodiazepine tranquilizers; I'm thinking of taking one before I start to dull my senses and sink faster.
The sea water is currently between 16 and 20 degrees. It'll be even colder at depth, and the water is calm with no waves. I'm still hoping that, thanks to the handcuffs and panic, I'll get tired quickly, swallow some water, and sink to the bottom.

What do you think I could add or change to this method to achieve the effect even faster?

Partially read it, i think that drowning will be one of the most painful ways to leave this world and it is even a fact in this forum.

 

[CarbonBased]

I'm very sorry for what you're going through. I also replied to your original thread, and I don't have much to add. I really wish you had some better options, but I suppose you know your own situation best. Still, I seriously urge you to consider whatever alternatives you may have. Take care

 

[AreWeWinning]

I recently started a thread about drowning , and many people wrote to me saying that it's very painful and that I should look for another method.

I really don't understand the comments that say drowning is painful. First, how do they know? Second, what does a couple of minutes of pain matter when someone's is dead, anyway? If a method is relatively quick (e.g. works within a few minutes) and not excruciatingly painful (like burning alive), I'd be okay with it. For me, the single most important thing in a method is the certainty of my death.

The problem is not the pain per se, but the panic that comes with facing death. If dying wasn't a risk, and death was replaced with a big enough reward, I bet most people would happily endure the pain of drowning (or hanging, or whatever method). However, since we're talking about death, people get hyper-fixated on the experience. It's just survival instinct (SI) at play.

(I posted the comments below on your other thread too, just deleted it later.)

Regarding drowning, as a method... I was considering drowning too. If I weren't doing hanging, that is what I would probably do. If I were to drown myself, I would attach weights to my body in a way that they cannot be removed to prevent myself from removing them. Attaching the weights requires some creativity, but it's not difficult to do, e.g. with a backpack combined with some other accessories. Additional weight that is 15-20% of the person's body weight will make a person sink fast. I like methods that are relatively quick and nearly 100% certain, and drowning with weights attached fits these criteria nicely.

I'm not sure if I would try it by pedalling into the ocean on a mattress, though. That's sounds a bit dicey.

I think one of the problems with drowning is that it's difficult to find a good location to do it. Most water surfaces are monitored during the day, and there is a chance that someone will spot you and save you. If you use weights and sink fast, they'd need scuba divers to save you, but I'd still be paranoid. I wouldn't want to be saved after being underwater for 20-30 minutes; I think we all know why.

Drowning at night is also difficult, because, if someone spots you, how do you explain going out to the sea alone, in the dark?

In theory, if you use weights, you could even do it from a boat. No one would be able to save you by jumping into the water after you. I'd still be worried about being saved by scuba divers, but maybe I'm just paranoid. It depends on the circumstances whether this is a real risk, e.g. how deep the water is, or how quickly the rescuers respond.

 

[tinyfox]

I'm very sorry for what you're going through. I also replied to your original thread, and I don't have much to add. I really wish you had some better options, but I suppose you know your own situation best. Still, I seriously urge you to consider whatever alternatives you may have. Take care

Thanks. It looks like I'll have to find a new way. Access to the sea is no longer unrestricted (
Damn. Life is so complicated, I can't even decide how I want to die.

I'm not sure if I would try it by pedalling into the ocean on a mattress, though. That's sounds a bit dicey.

I agree with that. Another challenge is staying calm at depth and doing everything right.

 

[CarbonBased]

First, how do they know?

Usually, the primary sources are the reports of the survivors. But I'll be honest, I'm just repeating what I've heard, so I could easily be wrong

 

[Photographer Fizzle]

Drowning is my method of choice. I want to go so badly. Life has been miserable. But that survival instinct keeps feeding me lies that life could get better despite decades of awful things happening to me.
I agree with Fox's point that the little bit of suffering leading to death is a small price to pay to escape the long-term suffering of living, but I also doubt that Fox is ready to go either. No judgment. I understand the equivocating and the intellectualizing of methods. I have a therapist who understands trauma now after nearly a dozen attempts over the years and almost never being listened to. But it's too late. I feel old, and my finances are laughable. I equivocate all the time about the rationality of death because I'm too afraid to just take that step and go.
I really do admire the people who complete. It takes so much strength to push through, and yeah, obviously, methods like firearms are more efficient and take less resistance, but they also aren't available to most of us who want to go. I don't know how people do partial hanging. I have a noose that might work, but how do you not just stand up and abort your attempt?
Also, for me, drowning would be a little easier because I can't swim, so the instinct to save myself wouldn't be triggered and so I wouldn't require tricks like bounded limbs. Again, no judgment toward Fox as creator. He/she probably has lots of reasons to live. Some of us don't.

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

I feel like drowning while you're unconcious is an ideal method. The question is what kind of meds do you need to reach unconciousness and how do you time going into water before unconciousness

 

[EDSsucks]

I recently started a thread about drowning , and many people wrote to me saying that it's very painful and that I should look for another method.

I'm also considering full hanging and taking sodium nitrite, but I'm still considering drowning as my first option. Let me explain why...

I'm really scared to attempt CTB when I know I might survive. What scares me most is the possibility that something could go wrong and I'd wake up with irreversible brain damage. That's what terrifies me the most—and the thought of how I'd look my loved ones in the eye afterward. These thoughts are unbearable to me. I'm also afraid that at the moment of FSH, when I have to take that step, I won't be able to bring myself to do it and will just stand there frozen in fear—and I won't have another chance anytime soon, since I'll only have a couple of hours for everything... I don't live alone, so I can't attempt CTB when it's convenient for me; if I leave the house, they'll start looking for me right away. That's why I have little time and can't calmly plan and do things whenever I want.

But when it comes to drowning, I have almost no third option—I'll either drown or swim to shore. The possibility that I'll be rescued and pulled out of the water while unconscious is unlikely. When you take a step toward death, it's important to me to know that you're leaving 100%.
And with sodium nitrite, there are even more questions, since I can't verify the source or know for sure if I'm buying a pure product. Plus, it might make you throw up, and something could go wrong. And if the attempt fails, SN could harm my health and exacerbate my problems, making my life even more unbearable.
That's exactly why I'm considering drowning first and foremost—because I want to know that there's either death or a way to get back out without any harm to my health in the end.

I'm thinking about the best way to go about this. Right now, I'm planning to swim out to deep water in sea on an inflatable mattress during the day, in broad daylight. I'll have handcuffs in my chest pouch. I want to put the handcuffs on crosswise, with one side on my right arm and the other on my left leg. In this position, I won't be able to roll onto my back and rest, since I'll be in the fetal position, and it seems to me that in this position I'll sink to the bottom immediately and lose consciousness in a couple of minutes.
I also have 15 benzodiazepine tranquilizers; I'm thinking of taking one before I start to dull my senses and sink faster.
The sea water is currently between 16 and 20 degrees. It'll be even colder at depth, and the water is calm with no waves. I'm still hoping that, thanks to the handcuffs and panic, I'll get tired quickly, swallow some water, and sink to the bottom.

What do you think I could add or change to this method to achieve the effect even faster?

If you could leave the house to go drown in a large body of water, why couldn't you leave to house to do other things?

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

I'm not sure that drowning is considered painful? I'm pretty sure that asphyxiation is not, and that your body has a lot of mechanisms to protect you against pain, especially for drowning.

I think the biggest hurdle will be SI. Benzos and things like that will be essential, as you will be unable to fight the instinct to not die. You could combine them with alcohol too.

I think having something to weigh you down/make it difficult to escape would be very helpful. I really wouldn't be worried about physical pain, only panic.

 

[HNR_]

I don't live alone, so I can't attempt CTB when it's convenient for me; if I leave the house, they'll start looking for me right away. That's why I have little time and can't calmly plan and do things whenever I want.

Why can't you make up a story like I did to explain why you'd leave for a couple days?

I told my father I needed to take a break and breathe some fresh air weeks ago now
When I told him that, he said that he also thought about doing that for a while, suggesting me to do that together and leave our grandma behind (she's still capable of living on her own, to be clear) but I thankfully managed to convince him to not come with me by saying I needed to spend some time alone