smh
professional flipper
- Oct 31, 2023
- 25
A kid that was told he was special and believed that, a kid that really thought was smarter than everybody else except his father, a kid that saw that failed exam and stopped talking for days.
Where did the other kid go? The one that didnt cry all the time, the one that wanted to live, the one that didnt understand why people would ever kill themselves, well that kid is gone, i killed him, school killed him. I couldnt believe that me, the smartest kid in the class, that had skipped a whole year and left his friends for a harder class because he was SO FUCKING SMART, had failed a test, i ddint study, but i dont need to...right? What if im not really smart...? What if they made a mistake...? Im a fraud. Im a stupid retarded idiot. Shame, be ashamed of yourself, you better be. Its too much, let it out, in silence, at night pinch yourself, bite your lips, scratch till it bleeds, stab with a pencil, scratch with a pencil, cut with a sharpener...
There was another kid the happy one, he was curious, funny, sometimes could seem disrespectful but never on purpose he was so creative, his sister thought he was weird because he shaked his hands in the air and made funny noises when he was bored, but in his head he was imagining all kinds of worlds and scenarios that he would later draw or write about, he thought he was perfect like he was, what was he supposed to believe anyways? When everybody told him that he was everything he thought he had to be.
Now that kid is crying at 4am ranting about stupid nonsense with shitty writing and typos left and right, somehow feels a little better to just let everything out i guess but im so tired of everything, i havent seen anything yet and i really dont want to die before im 25 at least but fuck do i want to, told my mom i was leaving her house the other day and she got mad, she took all my meds and threw them at me, "why do you even take these if you dont do anything to change?"- I was packing my stuff like a kid having a tantrum when she went into my room and took the bag saying "I could see you blaming me" If i killed myself thats what youre worried about? About you? I know you love me...right? Please i know you love me. I can be better i swear (i dont). Ended up going to sleep and we were "ok" the next day, thats the easy part, smiling the next morning and offering breakfast, i happily take it because id rather not break down right there in front of her. God i feel bad for her, she gave me everything and still "le salió rana" "más raro que un perro verde" id go on but i cant even see with all my tears, did you really read through all of this? Embarassing (for me) Tell me how to make my writings more clear and concise and correct mistakes (no pressure) thanks for listening to my WHAAAAAAAAAAAA- WHAAAAAAA womp womp
Where did the other kid go? The one that didnt cry all the time, the one that wanted to live, the one that didnt understand why people would ever kill themselves, well that kid is gone, i killed him, school killed him. I couldnt believe that me, the smartest kid in the class, that had skipped a whole year and left his friends for a harder class because he was SO FUCKING SMART, had failed a test, i ddint study, but i dont need to...right? What if im not really smart...? What if they made a mistake...? Im a fraud. Im a stupid retarded idiot. Shame, be ashamed of yourself, you better be. Its too much, let it out, in silence, at night pinch yourself, bite your lips, scratch till it bleeds, stab with a pencil, scratch with a pencil, cut with a sharpener...
There was another kid the happy one, he was curious, funny, sometimes could seem disrespectful but never on purpose he was so creative, his sister thought he was weird because he shaked his hands in the air and made funny noises when he was bored, but in his head he was imagining all kinds of worlds and scenarios that he would later draw or write about, he thought he was perfect like he was, what was he supposed to believe anyways? When everybody told him that he was everything he thought he had to be.
Now that kid is crying at 4am ranting about stupid nonsense with shitty writing and typos left and right, somehow feels a little better to just let everything out i guess but im so tired of everything, i havent seen anything yet and i really dont want to die before im 25 at least but fuck do i want to, told my mom i was leaving her house the other day and she got mad, she took all my meds and threw them at me, "why do you even take these if you dont do anything to change?"- I was packing my stuff like a kid having a tantrum when she went into my room and took the bag saying "I could see you blaming me" If i killed myself thats what youre worried about? About you? I know you love me...right? Please i know you love me. I can be better i swear (i dont). Ended up going to sleep and we were "ok" the next day, thats the easy part, smiling the next morning and offering breakfast, i happily take it because id rather not break down right there in front of her. God i feel bad for her, she gave me everything and still "le salió rana" "más raro que un perro verde" id go on but i cant even see with all my tears, did you really read through all of this? Embarassing (for me) Tell me how to make my writings more clear and concise and correct mistakes (no pressure) thanks for listening to my WHAAAAAAAAAAAA- WHAAAAAAA womp womp
