Help please help me, topic is suicide with my girlfriend

[4Das]

so In short, I met a girl from another country and we kept the contact on line and got into a relationship and everything and she's truly my everything, she's my everything.
I struggle with being suicidal and severely depressed and autistic, I am suicidal but I can't do it now, I would hurt my mom so bad I can't even imagine that.
my girlfriend is suicidal herself and she's actually planning to do it for a while, she wanted to do it before the summer and I could talk her into staying with me longer.
I know it's her choice but I can't lose her, she is my everything I can't live without her.
I asked her to get the chance to join her as we have been talking and fantasizing about suicide together before but now our plan is to kill ourselves at the end of August.
my mom is gonna be so hurt, it's terrifying and I need help, I have nightmares of this everyday I can't hurt my mom but I can't lose this girl, I really mean it I can't live we without her.
can someone give me a bit of advice on what I should do? idk what's more terrifying, hurting my mom and knowing she will never recover from that, my sister aswell.
or do I lose my girl that's all that means something to me, Ieven a day without her is hard idk what to do without her I need her and there's no way of talking her out of it idk what to do

 

[MrDarkness]

so In short, I met a girl from another country and we kept the contact on line and got into a relationship and everything and she's truly my everything, she's my everything. I struggle with being suicidal and severely depressed and autistic, I am suicidal but I can't do it now, I would hurt my mom so bad I can't even imagine that. my girlfriend is suicidal herself and she's actually planning to do it for a while, she wanted to do it before the summer and I could talk her into staying with me longer. I know it's her choice but I can't lose her, she is my everything I can't live without her. I asked her to get the chance to join her as we have been talking and fantasizing about suicide together before but now our plan is to kill ourselves at the end of August. my mom is gonna be so hurt, it's terrifying and I need help, I have nightmares of this everyday I can't hurt my mom but I can't lose this girl, I really mean it I can't live we without her. can someone give me a bit of advice on what I should do? idk what's more terrifying, hurting my mom and knowing she will never recover from that, my sister aswell. or do I lose my girl that's all that means something to me, Ieven a day without her is hard idk what to do without her I need her and there's no way of talking her out of it idk what to do

Does she use the site? If her method is something like anti depressants od I wouldn't worry that much as it's never fatal, also in all honesty, never ever make a suicide pact, I saw a lot posts in the back of the day of one person failing and living with constant suicide guilt, clearly you don't seem that desperate to die as you really care about your mom, which is good, I suggest saying just how much you love her and how you couldn't stand to lose her, no shame in it

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I think its romantic how much uur willing to do for her, but I wonder, what changes if you die now or later? Your mom would feel the same anyway, whether its one month or another month, ctb often means leaving the people around you hurt, which is a sad risk to have to take
Sorry if that sounds insensitive or callous, I'm just wondering genuinely

 

[FF777]

can you both just live longer and see what happens?.. i didn't see you mention reasons for why you guys want to CTB..

 

[4Das]

Does she use the site? If her method is something like anti depressants od I wouldn't worry that much as it's never fatal, also in all honesty, never ever make a suicide pact, I saw a lot posts in the back of the day of one person failing and living with constant suicide guilt, clearly you don't seem that desperate to die as you really care about your mom, which is good, I suggest saying just how much you love her and how you couldn't stand to lose her, no shame in it

if she does it alone she would cut her wrists, together we would jump
and no I don't think she's using that site

can you both just live longer and see what happens?.. i didn't see you mention reasons for why you guys want to CTB..

I tried to convince her of that but there's no way of convincing her

I think its romantic how much uur willing to do for her, but I wonder, what changes if you die now or later? Your mom would feel the same anyway, whether its one month or another month, ctb often means leaving the people around you hurt, which is a sad risk to have to take
Sorry if that sounds insensitive or callous, I'm just wondering genuinely

the problem is my mom is in a really bad situation and she feels horrible enough already.
she has ptsd from her childhood and a whole lot of diagnosis that she still struggles with to this day, I just don't know she doesn't deserve to suffer like this but idk how to live without my girlfriend even tho I wouldn't kill myself now

 

[fluorescentpearl]

if she does it alone she would cut her wrists

She would most likely survive that..

the problem is my mom is in a really bad situation and she feels horrible enough already.

Ahh I see, to be honest the bad situation and disorders won't change anytime soon if we had to be realistic..

 

[piger]

it sounds like you're both pretty young. If you're both willing to make it work, you'll make it through. You must give her that olive branch and get to her level. Providing emotional support and being attached to someone remotely can be really difficult and i'm having issues with this, so i understand where you're coming from.

 

[4Das]

it sounds like you're both pretty young. If you're both willing to make it work, you'll make it through. You must give her that olive branch and get to her level. Providing emotional support and being attached to someone remotely can be really difficult and i'm having issues with this, so i understand where you're coming from.

I am always her emotional support for me, she talks about her problems almost all day to me, it doesent really do Anything she's really sure about suicide, I just don't know how to survive without her.
I don't want to kill myself just now, Its horrible to have the time running out while both options are terrifying yk?
idk what to do with this situation honestly

Ahh I see, to be honest the bad situation and disorders won't change anytime soon if we had to be realistic..

I didn't mean just the disorders shes just already tired with all the stuff going on with me and she's going through a horrible heartbreak rn, she has nothing to cling to and idk how to leave her behind like this.
if she atleast had this guy then she would have something to cling to

She would most likely survive that..

are you sure? I'm worried that she will do it randomly without a word

 

[fluorescentpearl]

are you sure? I'm worried that she will do it randomly without a word

From what I know suicide by cutting is only a few single digit percentage of death, like 2% , unless you're somehow extremely lucky and can hit an artery, but it's unlikely

 

[webb&flow]

Suicidal ideation is almost always caused by our environment lacking things that we need, or our environment (or past environments) having harmful things that give us pain.

I know that you can't just magically move towards what you need and get it instantly, and can't just instantly teleport whatever is desired into your environment, or just magically remove whatever is making more pain.

can someone give me a bit of advice on what I should do? idk what's more terrifying, hurting my mom and knowing she will never recover from that, my sister aswell.
or do I lose my girl that's all that means something to me, Ieven a day without her is hard idk what to do without her I need her and there's no way of talking her out of it idk what to do

There is good news for you: someone can APPEAR like they are "not listening, impossible to save", yet still actually have a mind that is susceptible to change.

Certainty, especially certainty expressed to others, can be very appealing to the human brain. Sometimes it can feel like we're invalidating ourselves when we say we are "not sure" about the idea of suicide. To a suicidal person, it can feel like backpedalling, it can feel like they're saying "I don't have confidence in my suicidal ideation". But just because someone has second thoughts, does not mean those first thoughts should not be taken seriously. Both thoughts are real. Both thoughts deserve understanding and recognition.

I don't want to kill myself just now, Its horrible to have the time running out while both options are terrifying yk?

Maybe you have more time than you think <3. Even in the worst case scenario, suicide attempts the vast majority of the time are interrupted—by something else, by someone else, and often by the very person themself, too. It is not cut and dry ♥.

What do you feel is causing your girlfriend's suicidal ideation? As well as what may be causing yours as well .

 

[4Das]

What do you feel is causing your girlfriend's suicidal ideation? As well as what may be causing yours as well .

she has a really bad eating disorder, she is depressed and she hates herself, her home was abusive and I don't think I should like really go into detail but that's about the main things

From what I know suicide by cutting is only a few single digit percentage of death, like 2% , unless you're somehow extremely lucky and can hit an artery, but it's unlikely

if she often cuts herself is it easier for her to hit an artery?

 

[MrDarkness]

are you sure? I'm worried that she will do it randomly without a word

You would need to be so mentally unwell to even do that and get past the pain and the fear, like I'm talking permanently warded type, your wrists are filled with tons of nerves. I suggest you both talk about getting actual help, no shame in it, clearly you care enough about her

 

[4Das]

You would need to be so mentally unwell to even do that and get past the pain and the fear, like I'm talking permanently warded type, your wrists are filled with tons of nerves. I suggest you both talk about getting actual help, no shame in it, clearly you care enough about her

I try telling her to get help everytime but since her parents forced her in a mental hospital when she was younger she thinks all help is like that and gets mad at me when I mention getting help

 

[webb&flow]

she has a really bad eating disorder, she is depressed and she hates herself, her home was abusive and I don't think I should like really go into detail but that's about the main things

does she live in a better home environment now? <3

self-hatred often comes from abusive environments where someone is repeatedly told they are "bad". You can't immediately convince someone who feels they are bad that they are actually good; you can only try to steer them towards more soothing waters <3.

"Getting help" is a charged term <3. I encourage you to present it in a different light; such as "i found this really neat thing!! is it ok if we try it sometime? <3" and then you show her the thing that you would like her to try <3. It's difficult presenting it in the right light, but it can really help you to frame it differently to her ♥˙