people would care if i died - that’s why i can’t.

[overthrone]

i have family, friends, co workers and peers who love me, and have made that known since day one. Sometimes, I wish they didn't. That would make everything so much easier.

 

[Kirkinator]

That's so bittersweet, isn't it? You almost feel like your life isn't even your own. I only haven't killed myself out of fear of traumatizing my family.

Nice pfp and name btw! No tmc fan deserves to suffer

 

[overthrone]

That's so bittersweet, isn't it? You almost feel like your life isn't even your own. I only haven't killed myself out of fear of traumatizing my family.

Yeah. It simultaneously sucks because you feel so selfish, while also knowing you should be grateful for these people who love you.

Nice pfp and name btw! No tmc fan deserves to suffer

Thank you lol. I feel like every tmc fan is suffering one way or another lmao. I like your pfp too, my family and i would watch mickey mouse and friends all the time during covid

 

[ardea]

sometimes I feel like I've dug myself into a hole with all of the connections I've made. I know for a fact that if I died, a good number of people would be Not Okay about it for a long time, and I can't help but think I've screwed myself or everyone else over by making it so that killing myself causes so much more hurt than necessary. I've thought about withdrawing socially, but I just can't bring myself to. I need to talk to people.

 

[ctb_warrior]

This is very relatable. I also have a bigger circle and a lot of people have tried to convince me to live. And, ever since my parents have come to know about my tendencies, they love me a lot more. And now, it makes me feel selfish to think of CTB, because, they definitely don't deserve the pain of loss and that brings me to the cross roads if I had a method (i don't have a reliable method right now that i can execute for ctb) should I use it or should I wait longer.
On one hand, i try to work on my life and life does gets better, but after a while life manages to punch me even harder in my face bringing me back to suicidal ideation. This makes me wonder how to break free of the cycle, because i try to live peacefully but this life doesn't allow me to, and when i want to ctb peacefully, life doesn't allow even that. Stuck in the middle.

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

I'm glad I'm a lone wolf.