Discussion people who ctb

[k75]

Ok, I understand the nature of this forum and everything, but I still find it sad and a little haunting when I stumble on posts from people I liked seeing around who are gone now. It's sobering.

 

[chris8000]

I don't find it sinister or creepy, I find it sad though. I was re reading some of Ark's posts earlier and it did make me sad

 

[dandan]

I'm more jealous. I guess they are successful and I'm still here for now. I guess that's the sick side of me idk. Hopefully by the end year my name will be crossed off to

I truly totally understand , living ain't that easy damm hahaha fuck

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Sobering. Conflicting emotions. Sadness. Grief over losing friends. Exhaustion as I watch the cycle repeat and I'm still here.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Definitely sadness and curiosity. Did they ctb or did they just leave etc.

 

[Mizzmini45]

I truly totally understand , living ain't that easy damm hahaha fuck

This is no joke

 

[dandan]

This is no joke

No, its not. It's right there, in the domain name.

 

[TAW122]

I don't really feel scared or disturbed by it. I just know that the people who have gone and are no longer alive are free of suffering. They would no longer need to be alive to experience pain, disappointment, and the ills of this reality.

 

[SOL3HIRO]

I think the great thing about this forum is that at least the people who ctb know that there are people who understood or tried to understand their decision unlike most people in their life

 

[Ame]

Rambling ahead:

I've written about this topic in past threads but my feelings haven't changed all that much. It's sad. It is a quiet kind of sadness...the sort where you let out a hollow "oh" whenever you cross a late member's post. To think that the the person who wrote those words - often times their rich personality would just bleed through their words - was once alive and now they are not. It hurts to know that they were in so much pain and that they honestly believed that suicide was their only recourse. I don't know about anyone else, but I always got the impression, when reading their stories, that they desperately worked toward CTB in a way that felt like they were fighting for their lives. I'm not angry or anything like that. I never wanted anyone to suffer for the sake of my feelings but I also feel guilty for not following sooner...It's so strange.

 

[Moonicide]

I wouldn't say sinister. But I feel this ache in my heart, knowing they must have been in so much pain before they ctb'ed. I lost a friend here last month and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her. She was such a sweetheart. Sometimes I'll go back on her profile, tear up and remind myself she's at peace... Encounter crossed out members here will always be bittersweet.