Discussion People ostensibly "friends" with you who ignore you or lie to you

[X-sanguinate86]

How many of you have made "friends" with people who are often inaccessible for reasons that don't seem credible or valid?

Like if they say they have to do something so they'll be around later to chat but then they just aren't. Or the thing they said they needed to do was obviously finished hours ago yet you still haven't heard from them? or they just drop a conversation with no explanation and are gone for hours or days? or just don't respond to things you ask them?

I guess that means they aren't real friends and are either just using you as an unimportant back up friend or see you as a charity case who they really don't care much about and with whom they will never truly become friends.

This happens to me even with people I have met on this forum. The people I've crossed on this forum have never proven to be better than what I cross in real life.

 

[darksouls]

yes and it happens more with people I met in real life

 

[Forever Sleep]

It has happened but, it used to hurt more in the past. It's happened both on the forum and in real life.

I've mostly weaned myself off the need for friendship over the course of a few years so- when it does happen now, it (thankfully) affects me less.

I guess I'm at the age where some of my friends have families and children so- it became obvious- as soon as partners were on the scene- that their priority lay with them.

I do try really hard now to simply appreciate the time people will share but, not to expect/ rely on more. I don't really trust friendship now though.

I tend to believe it is based on mutual need for one another and- seeing as life and we ourselves are changing- those needs change, get fulfilled elsewhere, sometimes don't match what the other person has to give now.

I think you've got to be pretty lucky too- to find people who value a friendship and will put in equal time/ effort that you will. Again- we're all different and we all have various amounts of need being fulfilled by other people.

I think it's less complicated when we are younger too. Because we are all enforced to be around one another- at school, college, work places. There's a sort of need to find allies there too.

 

[Pluto]