Help Parents who wish to CTB

[Dopamine_Junkie44]

This is what I do not want to happen.


It is very complicated. I cannot explain this in short. Every contact hurts me.
I am not able to withstand their cries, I know nothing about how to raise a children, how to take care of them, how to tell them fairy tells for a good night. Literally everything. I am very introvert person, in personal. I am able to write about things much more then tell them.

If you are better at writing, then leave your kids a letter. And consider that it might be easier for you to connect when they get older. A lot of people can't stand being around small kids because they have been mistreated as small kids and the crying reminds them...

Also please know that it is not your fault, if you are not a good parent at the moment. If you want, you could try to change that with a lot of therapy I think...

They do. Many people. And they right. By the way mostly they are friends of my wife, because I do not have .... friends.

I am sorry to hear that you don't have friends. Maybe you don't consider other people trustworthy because of past experiences?
Or you don't like yourself enough to think you deserve them?

Don't pressure yourself. Think of what you would like to become and think of a very small first step in that direction... there are a lot of people out there that needed time to heal before being able to connect to other people...

 

[Zazacosta]

I am sorry to hear that you don't have friends. Maybe you don't consider other people trustworthy because of past experiences?
Or you don't like yourself enough to think you deserve them?

I cannot open to other people in personal. I cannot make any long-term relationship either. I am not able.
My only true friends which I ever had in my life were in online territory...

 

[Dopamine_Junkie44]

many people think that the past will continue to be the future. But things and people can change. Slowly. And with help. You don't need to be stuck at where you are right now. But leaving the usual patterns can be terrifying... I don't know you. Maybe you tried a million things already and are rightfully frustrated and resigned. But you deserve to get to a better place!!

Is there a small thing you can imagine doing that might help you change one tiny detail about your present life? Any person online you get along well with? Maybe you could ask them for a short call? People here are pretty likely to accept you as you are. With your fears and weaknesses. They will not judge you if you cannot talk on the phone. But maybe you could listen to a person on a phone? Would that be a possible first step?

Try to think out of the box. I think you know what would help you. Maybe you just don't think that any person would be willing to do that for you.