Panicking when I'm about to sleep is stopping me from taking SN

[SadTitan]

I panic when trying to sleeping and let my brain turn off, idk why but every time I feel like i'm about to go unconscious I get a mini panic attack. This happens every night and sometimes i just stay up, or I'll pass out and not remember going to sleep. It makes overcoming my SI feel impossible when trying to take SN, I've backed out about 4 times now.

I tried finding ways that would help overcome SI. I've read alcohol but its not recommended to take it with SN and there's not much else out there. So, I'll be looking into other methods that could help me ctb.


If anyone has any recommendations I'd love to hear it.