Overdose survivors

[Musiclover338]

long story short. basically in 2022 i tried to overdose and benzos off the darkweb and titos vodka

quick google search after having a rough day said "this combination is lethal" so i said fuck it lets do it. So i proceeded to down 4 mg benzos (no telling what were actually in them as they were from the darkweb) and drown myself in vodka.

Didnt kill me, blacked out, didnt remember that night, started to remember it a few days later. basically i cried alot and kept drinking everytime i came back to. Drinking more while on the pills would make me blackout again and fall asleep again. Pretty sure i may have suffered mild hypoxia or some sort of damage to my brain. all these years later.

next day when i woke up i felt a sharp zap/ burning in the back of my head (i currently feel it right now) that still persist to this day. makes my head hurt/ feel like its burning or like a chronic headache.
Been all of the internet trying to figure out how to reverse this or stop this, benzobuddies (i didnt take them long, less than 2 weeks total before i stopped/ran out)... reddit forums, the whole nine.

theres something called BIND (benzo induced neurological disorder) I Didnt even do them that long but my symptoms kinda match, but i feel like im being a wuss because alot of people who have that have been on the drug for long periods.

microdosing shrooms helps sometimes, but atlas the burning/headache in the back of my head around where brain connects to spine still persist. Its getting better now that ive stopped smoking weed and cigs, but theres still nights where i hardly get any sleep due to my head hurting/throbbing.
Could just be my optical nerves got burned out too read somewhere that opioid (could of had fent pills) overdoses cause permanent damage to eye nerves.
since then life has kinda improved (sexual life improved which i always thought i would die a virgin, money situation improved vastly) but that brain damage kinda sucks ass and makes alot of things unbearable
important to test your pills.... but i actually didnt care what was in them... as i wanted to die.

mostly just ranting as i have no one that can relate to suicde attempts , but any other overdose survivors out there? Just want to get somewhere back to my old 100% but it seems impossible now I still try to move foward in a positive manner.

thanks for reading

 

[LonelyPrince]

I'm sorry about the symptoms, that seems very uncomfortable to live with.
I've always overdosed on medication, never hard drugs or black-net related stuff.
Last time I did it i had been thinking about it for weeks and at a certain point i just couldn't hold it in anymore and took the entire box plus alcohol. I also took some melatonin to sleep so that if something were to happen during maybe I could have just died without anyone intervening idk.
Woke up because of my mother coming in to tell me she made me coffee and she noticed how out of it I was. I could barely stand once I got up: my legs would give out and my head was spinning like never before. I would only stabilize once I was laying down.
Netheless to say that the ambulance was called for me and I had to drink like 1 liter of charcoal water.
It wasn't a suicide attempt, although normies might argue, it was just self harm. I was naively hoping that I could pass away magically or something.

 

[Lungz]

i had two deep web pill attempts that were catastrophic fails.
first was about 15 xans that just blacked me out for a few days, the other was like 25 oxy that i snorted in one go, (i took a buncha seroquyel so i dont remember doin it which is nice) one left me in a 3 day coma that left huge bedsores on the back of my head and foot so now i have a bald spot and a crusty scarred heel lol. im pretty grateful i survived now, i am still often suicidal and sure that i have some kind of neurological issues from it all,. i get 'brain zaps' that feel like cold chills but deep in my brain. kind of got the same thing when ii did lsd, maybe something with my dopamine receptors.

glad ur kickin it still and on the better side of things, you should ask dr for hydroxazine (too lazy to check spelling) if you havent had it before, its just an allergy med that doubles as an anxiety med, might help with some of ur sleep problems. i hope you dont have to spend the rest of your life with the neurological issues, or that they atleast lessen up with time.

maybe getitng into holistic healing would do you some good too, i feel that when im getting all my nutrience and on a decent schedule my brain feels a lot less tense.