Over 40yrs old

[downndone2]

How many here are over 40 and reason(s) for wanting to CTB?

 

[LittleJem]

Me: depression, life in tatters, don't think I'll ever find love, no
purpose to my life, loneliness. Depression/suicidal thoughts are the number one reason

 

[absolomonisgone]

Reason for want to ctb because I have wanted since a child my favourite games was dying and hang. At 16 I tried and fail. I regret that fail today every day.

 

[lukas19]

54, depression, lonely, suicida, no purpose etc

 

[missingpeace]

Turning 40 this year, have been sick for 2 years to the point of serious debilitation. Want to get out asap.

 

[downndone2]

All my stuff started several years ago. I really ruined my life over some shitty decisions. I'm currently alone, divorced, financially screwed, sad, anxious, depressed, and don't want to go on really. I hurt the ones I lived the most when I went crazy for 6 months

 

[Tartuffe]

not long turned 40

My life has been ruined, I'm not interested in restarting and looking for it all again.

 

[6MillionWaystoDie]

I think anyone over 40 can appreciate the beauty of what life used to be and what it symbolized long ago when life and living was more simple, vs. what life is today and what life and living has become. Sure, nothing was perfect 'back then' and there are some great societal and technological advances today that have enhanced life and the living experience, but at what cost?

Civilization as a whole lacks empathy and has no soul. Those who are able to find real meaning and enjoyment in life and living are lucky. The masses are struggling to matter and exist. And then there are the rest of us who wind up on a site like this who see there is no point. Giving up is the same as putting your heart and soul into everything only to wind up just getting by. Maybe giving up is an even better choice since its a form of self-preservation.

 

[Teikoku]

I think anyone over 40 can appreciate the beauty of what life used to be and what it symbolized long ago when life and living was more simple, vs. what life is today and what life and living has become. Sure, nothing was perfect 'back then' and there are some great societal and technological advances today that have enhanced life and the living experience, but at what cost?

Civilization as a whole lacks empathy and has no soul. Those who are able to find real meaning and enjoyment in life and living are lucky. The masses are struggling to matter and exist. And then there are the rest of us who wind up on a site like this who see there is no point. Giving up is the same as putting your heart and soul into everything only to wind up just getting by. Maybe giving up is an even better choice since its a form of self-preservation.

I'm always thinking about the past, growing up in the 70s and 80s and reliving the memories of how straightforward life was.

There has been great advancements with technology but... it's becoming very apparent that the real purpose behind much of the convenient technology is actually to monitor, track and enslave us. It can only get worse from here.

I think the masses generally know things have deteriorated, but they try not to think about it too much. Ignore and hope that things will get better. People often get angry if you mention things being hopeless.

I think exiting at this point is a dignified choice than continuing knowing that things are only going to worsen. The new normal will keep on shifting and shifting until the life we once knew is completely unrecognisable.

 

[NeverEnding]

56 here and seeing nothing in the future. House crumbling around me, I have just found out my partner has been cheating on me for last 10 months as I had no sex drive (from the meds and depression) - that has added the cherry on top of my depression trifle. I too reminisce about the times in the 70s & 80s when life was good and I had hopes for a fulfilling life but it has now just nosedived into a whole world of shit.

 

[greebo6]

47
Have a sad , empty ,boring and very lonely existence.
Add an ugly face to go with an ageing body too.
Wish I had had the courage to end it years ago....Wish I had it now too....Wish i was gone....

 

[RichardFirst]

I'm reminded of a joke by Louis CK where he remarks on the futility joining a gym in his late 30s. He's balding and overweight, so he's hardly going to be ripped by the time he's in his 40s. Thus, the gym serves merely to maintain his woeful state of existence as it is.

At 36, I'm cheating by replying here, but I've reached a point similar to that of the above. Things are not getting better from here on out, so it's maintain life as it is or watch it get worse.

 

[BBBB]

. I too reminisce about the times in the 70s & 80s when life was good and I had hopes for a fulfilling life but it has now just nosedived into a whole world of shit

I hear you!

My life has been ruined, I'm not interested in restarting and looking for it all again

SAME HERE!!!!!

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Crippled by anxiety and failure throughout my life… No desire to continue

 

[downndone2]

Same

 

[EyeHearMusic]

I turn 40 this year... I was actually at the top-the cream of the crop in my profession... I just stopped doing it. I literally have no excitement for anything that I used to be into... I feel like I've done almost everything I wanted to.
But I suck at being a friend, a brother, a father and a lover... I don't understand what else there is for me to do.

 

[leavingsoon99]

How many here are over 40 and reason(s) for wanting to CTB?

I am. I have many reasons for wanting to CTB. The long and short of it is that I've given my life a long, thorough, honest review, as well as a realistic, hypothetical glance at my future. I've decided that it's not worth it to continue limping along in hopeless hope. I'll never achieve the things I could have because I never had the support nor the resources to do so. I'll never have the type of social experiences that will allow for possible relationship building. Many things. I'm not happy. Life has not been kind to me in the least. I don't think I have to live out a failed and failing existence. I plan to let go soon. I'm glad I found this forum, because I want to be understood and heard before I go. If I can't be loved, liked, nor appreciated, I at least want to be heard and somewhat understood.

 

[Grayfield]

Me. I hate the person I've become. I've been slowly destroying my life and anyone that comes close to me. Not much left that brings some joy. I'm so tired of searching. And now anxiety and this sadness. I'm tired.

 

[BlindsClosed]

I'll be 47 soon and I can't believe I'm even saying that. I never thought I would've lived even close to this age. Every day in public I'm reminded that I'm quickly declining and becoming an old man to only be ignored and soon be nothing but a burden to everyone else. Luckily I've saved up enough cash from a decent job so I'm riding out my time "retired" until I decide to exit, or go broke and then exit, whichever comes first. ....I also think about how life was at 20 or so and although I love who I am much better now philosophically, I miss that feeling of "hope" that I'll someday find love, perfect job, etc.. I was pretty delusional for a while and age has kicked me in the face with hard truths I'm facing every day now of how silly I used to think. If I could look back and choose, I'd say the best time for me to go would've been at 32. Too bad we never know when the best years were before, are currently, or will become, the best ones. ...Nice to hear from others.

 

[downndone2]

Me. I hate the person I've become. I've been slowly destroying my life and anyone that comes close to me. Not much left that brings some joy. I'm so tired of searching. And now anxiety and this sadness. I'm tired.

I feel you 100%

I'll be 47 soon and I can't believe I'm even saying that. I never thought I would've lived even close to this age. Every day in public I'm reminded that I'm quickly declining and becoming an old man to only be ignored and soon be nothing but a burden to everyone else. Luckily I've saved up enough cash from a decent job so I'm riding out my time "retired" until I decide to exit, or go broke and then exit, whichever comes first. ....I also think about how life was at 20 or so and although I love who I am much better now philosophically, I miss that feeling of "hope" that I'll someday find love, perfect job, etc.. I was pretty delusional for a while and age has kicked me in the face with hard truths I'm facing every day now of how silly I used to think. If I could look back and choose, I'd say the best time for me to go would've been at 32. Too bad we never know when the best years were before, are currently, or will become, the best ones. ...Nice to hear from others.

I wish i wouldve just died when I was sick in the hospital over the last few yrs. Ot would've been so much easier than this tormenting hell I'm in now. If it would gave happened several yrs ago, I would've died with the man that ended up leaving me and left a life insurance policy to kids.

Suppose I still have life insurance policy today but broken heart and now my grown kids would be left to clean it all up

 

[novem]

I'm always thinking about the past, growing up in the 70s and 80s and reliving the memories of how straightforward life was.

There has been great advancements with technology but... it's becoming very apparent that the real purpose behind much of the convenient technology is actually to monitor, track and enslave us. It can only get worse from here.

I think the masses generally know things have deteriorated, but they try not to think about it too much. Ignore and hope that things will get better. People often get angry if you mention things being hopeless.

I think exiting at this point is a dignified choice than continuing knowing that things are only going to worsen. The new normal will keep on shifting and shifting until the life we once knew is completely unrecognisable.

I completely agree about technology — it is an instrument of tracking and controlling.
Look at the Ticktock news headlines recently, how the "white house" freaked out that Ticktock is too popular among their slave population.
It is not just my opinion it is already a historical fact.
And no, they are not making robots to lift heavy boxes, they make them to kill and look like humans. ( r/robotics is an interesting example of what is going on )

 

[Pw81]

I'm 42. Suicidal since I was 18.

 

[RichardFirst]

I completely agree about technology — it is an instrument of tracking and controlling.
Look at the Ticktock news headlines recently, how the "white house" freaked out that Ticktock is too popular among their slave population.
It is not just my opinion it is already a historical fact.
And no, they are not making robots to lift heavy boxes, they make them to kill and look like humans. ( r/robotics is an interesting example of what is going on )

Tiktok is an insidious application that turns the mind to mush, but that's seemingly what they all do.

Simply put, technology took a wrong turn somewhere along the line. We're not meant to have 24 hour access to all the horrors of the world. When I was a child, the news was on TV at 6pm and again at 9pm, and that was it. Today, people have been driven mad by things that are none of their concern.

The Star Trek idea of the future was wrong. Warhammer 40k seems more realistic.

 

[Teikoku]

Tiktok is an insidious application that turns the mind to mush, but that's seemingly what they all do.

Simply put, technology took a wrong turn somewhere along the line. We're not meant to have 24 hour access to all the horrors of the world. When I was a child, the news was on TV at 6pm and again at 9pm, and that was it. Today, people have been driven mad by things that are none of their concern.

The Star Trek idea of the future was wrong. Warhammer 40k seems more realistic.

Very true. I'm sure all phone apps are just as bad. Western governments love pointing out how bad China is but they are all excited about introducing the same technologies to enslave their own populations.

You make a very valid point about the constant 24 hour news cycle. It's scary that people believe the fictional stories presented there, but a fearful population is easier to control. If the media hadn't pushed the whole corona plandemic non-stop then nobody would have noticed anything different and life would have carried on as normal.

 

[TimetoGo!]

not long turned 40

My life has been ruined, I'm not interested in restarting and looking for it all again.

This comment is very true and how I feel as well….

I worked my arse off to get to where I was and its gone horribly wrong, and now at 42 years of age expected to "start over again".

Nah, not doing it!

 

[RichardFirst]

Very true. I'm sure all phone apps are just as bad. Western governments love pointing out how bad China is but they are all excited about introducing the same technologies to enslave their own populations.

You make a very valid point about the constant 24 hour news cycle. It's scary that people believe the fictional stories presented there, but a fearful population is easier to control. If the media hadn't pushed the whole corona plandemic non-stop then nobody would have noticed anything different and life would have carried on as normal.

Well, put it like this; do you think anyone alive during the Black Death needed constant news coverage to know that there was a pandemic? Also, the 'rona is the first "deathly pandemic" in history to be followed by a chronic shortage of housing. Figure that out....

I'd say a lot of people here are considering taking the bus mostly because of what the state did from 2020 onwards.

 

[Teikoku]

Well, put it like this; do you think anyone alive during the Black Death needed constant news coverage to know that there was a pandemic? Also, the 'rona is the first "deathly pandemic" in history to be followed by a chronic shortage of housing. Figure that out....

I'd say a lot of people here are considering taking the bus mostly because of what the state did from 2020 onwards.

You would have thought people would figure the scam out by realising that they and their families and friends are still alive... or that anyone 'sick' off work with a positive corona test was usually sat at home without any symptoms. I think that was pure genius from the evil elites - "you can have the deadly virus and pass it on without any symptoms"

 

[RichardFirst]

You would have thought people would figure the scam out by realising that they and their families and friends are still alive... or that anyone 'sick' off work with a positive corona test was usually sat at home without any symptoms. I think that was pure genius from the evil elites - "you can have the deadly virus and pass it on without any symptoms"

I think it was just a very good example of human behaviour. There have been multiple experiments done to demonstrate that people will say things that they know to be false simply because that majority of their peers say that it's true. We're a group orientated species at the end of the day.

For me, 2020 was the beginning of the end. My family broke up, I destroyed my relationship, I got myself involved in the problems of other people and I lost what lingering faith I had in humanity.

 

[Teikoku]

For me, 2020 was the beginning of the end. My family broke up, I destroyed my relationship, I got myself involved in the problems of other people and I lost what lingering faith I had in humanity.

I think it was just a very good example of human behaviour. There have been multiple experiments done to demonstrate that people will say things that they know to be false simply because that majority of their peers say that it's true. We're a group orientated species at the end of the day.

For me, 2020 was the beginning of the end. My family broke up, I destroyed my relationship, I got myself involved in the problems of other people and I lost what lingering faith I had in humanity.

Group think reaction was definitely what they were striving for in 2020. In the future too, they will try to scare people with fanciful stories regarding upcoming climate catastrophes. They aren't very imaginative, which is just as well because most people are easily manipulated.

 

[RichardFirst]

Group think reaction was definitely what they were striving for in 2020. In the future too, they will try to scare people with fanciful stories regarding upcoming climate catastrophes. They aren't very imaginative, which is just as well because most people are easily manipulated.

The UK is releasing a phone app that will go off whenever there is a "danger" to the public. They can set that off whenever they want, and it will drive large sections of the population into hysterical madness.