This is just going to be a little rant, everywhere else is too censored.
I attempted suicide a month ago. I had just gotten assaulted and was extremely drunk.
While I have attempted when I was a kid/teen, people didn't find out. This time, I was around people, and ended up in the psych ward.
I always wished people would care about me more/take care of me, and while I was in the ward and right after, and people were bringing me food and advocating for me, it was nice. However, it seems like everyone around me is in a state where they're just uncomfortable by my existence and wish I would be better and blame me for it? It feels like this has impacted other people more than me.
I haven't been actively suicidal (intent/plan) for years, but I've always been depressed. So, not much changed for me, I'm always closer to suicide than the average person but still here due to SI and bad luck. I also used to wish I had a better "reason" to want to die, but now that I did, people seem to feel like they have the right to tell me that I'm irrational. Also, I made jokes about my time in impatient and complained about the beds, and a family member of mine told me that I "don't have the right to downplay it"?
If he's uncomfortable discussing the subject with me, I can get that, but it's my experience. I should be able to upplay, downplay, around play, foreplay etc.
There are also many people treating me as if I'm made of glass. The story has spread around my uni a bit and it's like people think I'll spontaneously combust if they say the wrong thing. And because I was drunk when the whole thing happened, I've also suddenly been labeled an addict.
I don't know I shouldn't be complaining about people caring about me, but why is it that no one noticed/cared when I was miserable in life but now I'm being constantly watched and given unwanted advice and talks. It's unnerving and doesn't make anything better.
I attempted suicide a month ago. I had just gotten assaulted and was extremely drunk.
While I have attempted when I was a kid/teen, people didn't find out. This time, I was around people, and ended up in the psych ward.
I always wished people would care about me more/take care of me, and while I was in the ward and right after, and people were bringing me food and advocating for me, it was nice. However, it seems like everyone around me is in a state where they're just uncomfortable by my existence and wish I would be better and blame me for it? It feels like this has impacted other people more than me.
I haven't been actively suicidal (intent/plan) for years, but I've always been depressed. So, not much changed for me, I'm always closer to suicide than the average person but still here due to SI and bad luck. I also used to wish I had a better "reason" to want to die, but now that I did, people seem to feel like they have the right to tell me that I'm irrational. Also, I made jokes about my time in impatient and complained about the beds, and a family member of mine told me that I "don't have the right to downplay it"?
If he's uncomfortable discussing the subject with me, I can get that, but it's my experience. I should be able to upplay, downplay, around play, foreplay etc.
There are also many people treating me as if I'm made of glass. The story has spread around my uni a bit and it's like people think I'll spontaneously combust if they say the wrong thing. And because I was drunk when the whole thing happened, I've also suddenly been labeled an addict.
I don't know I shouldn't be complaining about people caring about me, but why is it that no one noticed/cared when I was miserable in life but now I'm being constantly watched and given unwanted advice and talks. It's unnerving and doesn't make anything better.
