Discussion Opting Out of Society

[WiltingBogStar]

Has anybody else opted out of society completely? Think extreme NEETdom or Hikikomori.

By this I mean:

• No in-person working or any WFH arrangement under your real name (freelancing online under an alias doesn't count).
• No going shopping in-person - groceries get delivered and anything else comes from eBay/Amazon.
• No interaction with IRL friends & family, assuming you actually have any - no face-to-face talks, no texting, etc.
• No social media using your real name/face - no Facebook, Instagram, etc.
• No leaving the house at all except for essential purposes (e.g. taking out the trash); this is also done at night to minimise in-person contact.
• No answering the door unless you are expecting a courier.
• No hopes and dreams involving the outside world. Give up on it all.

The whole point is that the "real" you, the person named on your birth certificate, practically falls off of society's radar almost completely.

I'm 24 hours into it already. I've locked all of the doors and I've thrown the keys into the back of the dark pantry - it'll take at least an hour of moving my 300+ collection of tinned foods to find the keys, assuming I even want to leave the house anytime soon. I'm even considering ordering one of those timed-lock boxes and keeping the keys in there, taking out the trash whenever the timer expires and then resetting it. If there's a fire or gas leak? Oh well, I can just cuddle my blanket and wait to CTB.

I'm doing this because I've concluded that all of my mental health issues stem from negative interactions with other people. Even my flashbacks and intrusive thoughts exclusively involve other people - all of my trauma was inflicted by other people. If I keep myself locked away, I will never have a negative interaction, or any interaction for that matter, with another human being again except for short, minute-long interactions couriers and delivery drivers. Perhaps it's not the best thing for solving my trauma but at least I won't be picking up any new trauma from other people.

Really, it's an alternative to CTB. In fact, it almost feels as if I've already CTB and, as far as my neighbours are concerned, that might as well be true. The surprising thing is that I'm actually feeling better than I did before: I originally isolated myself out of fear of me hurting others and others hurting me but now I actually feel safe for the first time in years! I don't have to worry about anything anymore: no more pretending to be normal, no more engaging with abusive mental health staff, no more harassment in the street. As long as my disability money keeps coming through (in the UK, this basically just means doing paperwork every few years after the initial headache of getting the payments started), I actually have hopes of living a peaceful, albeit imperfect, existence - and this is coming from somebody who is extremely extraverted! I'd rather be alone than with people who make me feel like being alone.

Like I said above, I've only really committed to this lifestyle in the past 24 hours so I'm not sure if there's any crucial details I've missed. If anybody has anything to input, especially if you've been doing this for much longer than I have, I'd like to hear from you!

 

[another_creature]

I am not sure what kind of life you had led before this to know what can happen, but I'd be interested in your progress with this regardless.

 

[WiltingBogStar]

I am not sure what kind of life you had led before this to know what can happen, but I'd be interested in your progress with this regardless.

My story is probably fairy run-of-the-mill by this website's standards:

• Abusive family
• Bullying throughout my school days
• Conflict with colleagues at multiple jobs
• Trauma from all of the above

One curious thing to note is that I, surprisingly, became quite confident (and not bravado either) as an adult and I have fairly high self-esteem. I essentially went from being the communal punching bag to becoming the bitch who doesn't take shit from anybody but, either way, I guess I was just never meant to get along with other people.

I'll try and give an update every now and again, especially if anything changes. It's really become an experiment to see if I can actually feel better in the long-term by doing this; if it ends up making me worse than I was before, I'll stop the isolation and try something else.

 

[another_creature]

My story is probably fairy run-of-the-mill by this website's standards:

• Abusive family
• Bullying throughout my school days
• Conflict with colleagues at multiple jobs
• Trauma from all of the above

One curious thing to note is that I, surprisingly, became quite confident (and not bravado either) as an adult and I have fairly high self-esteem. I essentially went from being the communal punching bag to the bitch who doesn't take shit from anybody but, either way, I guess I was just never meant to get along with other people.

I'll try and give an update every now and again, especially if anything changes. It's really become an experiment to see if I can actually feel better in the long-term by doing this; if it ends up making me worse than I was before, I'll stop the isolation and try something else.

Sounds quite relatable. Isn't it sad we manage to overcome some of these things only to realize it doesn't matter?
I hope your approach helps. Regardless, it's inspiring

 

[Apathy79]

I did part of this for a long time. About 9 years. I would have continued but my place ended up burning down in the bushfires here a few years ago.

I say part of this because I did have a WFH job for about 7 years of it. And I did see friends/family once a year at Christmas. I also left the house for long walks alone frequently. And I had very different motives from you. But the crux of the life is the same. No contact with humans except occasionally delivery people, although even that was often contactless, completely for roughly 12 months at a time, and almost completely (broken up by brief annual Christmas visits with family/friends) for 9 years. My nearest neighbours were about 12km away and no-one ever came near my house by chance.

I called it the hermit life. I found it very freeing. But my motivation was more about removing all distractions from an internal spiritual seeking than avoiding people as a passive ctb. I wasn't sure if I would re-enter the world at some point, or how that might happen, but I hadn't ruled it out. The way it did happen didn't satisfy me and I still might return to that life again if I consider it financially viable.

For the first 2 years, I didn't have internet, and the isolation was significantly more extreme then. Looking back, they were 2 of the best years of my life and I learned a lot about myself. But I did end up craving some sort of connection with the world. If even just to tell randoms I would never meet under a pseudonym what I'm doing and chat about it. When I got internet, it became an addiction quickly. You can easily fill all day everyday with internet in any environment. I think from then on, the lifestyle wasn't substantially different to living in a normal town. I worked online, watched tv shows, now ordered groceries online instead of by phone, interacted daily with various people, knew what was happening in the world, etc.

I would say, if it is feasible for you, the non-internet option feels like an extreme experiment these days, and in many ways is very rewarding. If you have internet, you might find life proceeds fairly normally, as it would in most places.

 

[WiltingBogStar]

For the first 2 years, I didn't have internet, and the isolation was significantly more extreme then. Looking back, they were 2 of the best years of my life and I learned a lot about myself. But I did end up craving some sort of connection with the world. If even just to tell randoms I would never meet under a pseudonym what I'm doing and chat about it. When I got internet, it became an addiction quickly. You can easily fill all day everyday with internet in any environment. I think from then on, the lifestyle wasn't substantially different to living in a normal town. I worked online, watched tv shows, now ordered groceries online instead of by phone, interacted daily with various people, knew what was happening in the world, etc.

I would say, if it is feasible for you, the non-internet option feels like an extreme experiment these days, and in many ways is very rewarding. If you have internet, you might find life proceeds fairly normally, as it would in most places.

Firsts of all, thank you for your input!

Your comments about the Internet are intriguing. I do remember a time when my Internet failed for two weeks. At first, I was pretty upset about it but, eventually, I opened up my collection of downloaded media and I definitely remember being at relative peace during those couple weeks. Come to think of it, I don't think I actually went outside at all during that time and I stopped being concerned with anything that occured outside of my four walls. It was relaxing.

Cutting out the Internet, aside from the occassional Google search or media download via mobile data, does have its appeal. It is, however, not feasible in the UK in 2024: the only way to order groceries is via the supermarket websites and you need an online account in order to claim Universal Credit (unemployment welfare) - I would either go broke or starve if I stopped using the Internet, unfortunately.

That being said, I am taking steps to limit my exposure to society via the Internet - after all, what happens outside of this building is none of my concern. I've long-since stopped checking news websites (it's maddening to think I used to have local & national news websites bookmarked only a few years ago!) and I'm trying to drop YouTube since that website, while containing a lot of hidden gems, is exactly like other social media in the sense that it has been redesigned to bombard you with shocking news from the outside world for clicks. I don't want to hear anything about missing people, terrorist attacks, or the latest culture war battleground anymore.

I suppose I should set myself a challenge: how long can I go without knowing who the President of the United States is?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I wish I could but I unfortunately can't. I want to be a neet but it's impossible for me to

 

[todiefor]

By this I mean:

• No in-person working or any WFH arrangement under your real name (freelancing online under an alias doesn't count).
• No going shopping in-person - groceries get delivered and anything else comes from eBay/Amazon.
• No interaction with IRL friends & family, assuming you actually have any - no face-to-face talks, no texting, etc.
• No social media using your real name/face - no Facebook, Instagram, etc.
• No leaving the house at all except for essential purposes (e.g. taking out the trash); this is also done at night to minimise in-person contact.
• No answering the door unless you are expecting a courier.
• No hopes and dreams involving the outside world. Give up on it all.

I did this for about a year, so that I can plan my ctb in peace. I had quite a healthy social life before that and I completely ghosted all my friends because I knew I couldn't interact with anyone without telling them I'm extremely suicidal and I rather they think I lost contact with them than that I ctbed and they didn't help. I lived overseas so no family and I lived in a building with maintenance so I never had to even go downstairs or see or talk to anyone.

I did have the internet but to be honest the only interaction I had was with sasu ppl for an entire year, I didnt read any news and I never had any social media to begin with.

My aim though was different to yours, I was isolating so I can die without people irl realising.

To be honest the experience was quite comforting, and it did what I needed it to do, I planned my ctb, wrote notes, made peace with dying, put in motion plans that could ensure my parents are looked after as well as can be expected. I must admit I did not miss the outside world or my friends, perhaps supported by my belief that it is the best thing for them. The whole isolation thing came shockingly easy to me.

It was the only way I knew how to survive the year and I did. I don't think I could have gone outside even if I wanted to. I basically didn't stop shaking for 6 month, every text message from my ex sent me into a panic attack, I just cannot describe the intense fear I felt that could arise at any point in time triggered by the tiniest thing. I still get it today sometimes, the fear of it staying this way or returning is enough for me to die. I cannot live that way.

Did I find peace with what happened? No. Did I find a new way to live? No, I still very much want the life I worked so hard to achieve before. Did I find a solution to the cptsd caused by the emotional abuse from my ex partner that has reduced me to nothing but fear living? No, but I know there are more things I can prob do to get there.

I do think though that not having any financial constraints really helped as i don't think I could have done it without being financially independent. I spent very little, it's amazing how little u need to spend when nothing mattered anymore, but it was helpful knowing I wasn't spending more than i can afford. I also have no one depending on me, if I had I don't think I could have done it. My parents were my only worry and I essentially spent the year trying to make sure I did the right thing by them as much as possible.

 

[Apathy79]

Firsts of all, thank you for your input!

Your comments about the Internet are intriguing. I do remember a time when my Internet failed for two weeks. At first, I was pretty upset about it but, eventually, I opened up my collection of downloaded media and I definitely remember being at relative peace during those couple weeks. Come to think of it, I don't think I actually went outside at all during that time and I stopped being concerned with anything that occured outside of my four walls. It was relaxing.

Cutting out the Internet, aside from the occassional Google search or media download via mobile data, does have its appeal. It is, however, not feasible in the UK in 2024: the only way to order groceries is via the supermarket websites and you need an online account in order to claim Universal Credit (unemployment welfare) - I would either go broke or starve if I stopped using the Internet, unfortunately.

That being said, I am taking steps to limit my exposure to society via the Internet - after all, what happens outside of this building is none of my concern. I've long-since stopped checking news websites (it's maddening to think I used to have local & national news websites bookmarked only a few years ago!) and I'm trying to drop YouTube since that website, while containing a lot of hidden gems, is exactly like other social media in the sense that it has been redesigned to bombard you with shocking news from the outside world for clicks. I don't want to hear anything about missing people, terrorist attacks, or the latest culture war battleground anymore.

I suppose I should set myself a challenge: how long can I go without knowing who the President of the United States is?

Yes going broke was also my issue. Your needs for it seem very low usage. You might be able to get the most basic phone plan available with 1GB/month or something and just use it for them? It depends what you really want from your new life I suppose. I think you'll learn a lot more about yourself without it. I certainly did. It's funny looking back to that time now. I have a self-imposed "internet free day" once a week now and it seems really difficult to get through. But it's almost inevitably the best day of my week. It's hard to even imagine going a month now much less 2 years.

But while I understand there are some practical necessities that means internet access is required every now and then, I still think 90%+ of my usage is not part of it, and is closer to addictive behaviour, even without social media - forums, Youtube, Netflix, ChatGPT, Google, email, messaging groups, so cutting down can only be beneficial. I imagine you might be in a similar position? And in that isolation, you get to rediscover feelings like boredom, which doesn't exist in any real sense with internet or friends/family around. My house was always sparkling clean then - amazing how that changed with internet as a distraction!

As for the rest of the isolation elements you mentioned, I do think you will become accustomed to them remarkably quickly. One thing that shifts is your ability to talk to people diminishes over time. It's more of a skill than I realised. Actually stringing sentences together in conversation after not seeing or chatting with anyone for a year is surprisingly challenging. And it gets worse every year. You don't lose the ability to communicate in writing but with speech, it feels like it needs re-training. It probably took me a good 6 months of being with people after that period before I could really communicate normally again.

 

[WiltingBogStar]

Yes going broke was also my issue. Your needs for it seem very low usage. You might be able to get the most basic phone plan available with 1GB/month or something and just use it for them? It depends what you really want from your new life I suppose. I think you'll learn a lot more about yourself without it. I certainly did. It's funny looking back to that time now. I have a self-imposed "internet free day" once a week now and it seems really difficult to get through. But it's almost inevitably the best day of my week. It's hard to even imagine going a month now much less 2 years.

But while I understand there are some practical necessities that means internet access is required every now and then, I still think 90%+ of my usage is not part of it, and is closer to addictive behaviour, even without social media - forums, Youtube, Netflix, ChatGPT, Google, email, messaging groups, so cutting down can only be beneficial. I imagine you might be in a similar position? And in that isolation, you get to rediscover feelings like boredom, which doesn't exist in any real sense with internet or friends/family around. My house was always sparkling clean then - amazing how that changed with internet as a distraction!

I'm at a point now where becoming an Internet/TV addict would actually be an improvement in my life. You see, I've developed even worse addictions as a result of my ill-treatment by others: cutting, binge-eating, and pornography. Even scrolling through whatever the Youtube version of TikTok is does nothing for me by comparison.

The binge-eating addiction should already be solved: I can't run to the shop and buy junk food on a whim if I can't even open my front door without spending a ton of time searching for my keys - I'm forced to quit that one cold turkey. Pornography for me is simply a way of trying to fulfil an unmet desire for intimacy in my personal life; I do remember from earlier periods of (involuntary) isolation that these desires do begin to weaken after a while of isolation. As for cutting, I usually cut myself as a response to flashbacks from times in the past when people antagonised me; if I can let go of the outside world, as well as my grievances with the people in the outside world, then I am hoping that these flashbacks will become less frequent and much milder, meaning less of a desire to cut myself.

I hope that I can "downgrade" to a less harmful addiction (Internet/TV) but we'll have to see what ends up happening, though.

As for the rest of the isolation elements you mentioned, I do think you will become accustomed to them remarkably quickly. One thing that shifts is your ability to talk to people diminishes over time. It's more of a skill than I realised. Actually stringing sentences together in conversation after not seeing or chatting with anyone for a year is surprisingly challenging. And it gets worse every year. You don't lose the ability to communicate in writing but with speech, it feels like it needs re-training. It probably took me a good 6 months of being with people after that period before I could really communicate normally again.

I do remember a time when I became unintentionally isolated (was unemployed and living far from where I grew up) and you're absolutely correct: I would often become tongue-tied the few times I actually talked to people and that would've been mere weeks without having used my voice. I moved back to my home region and it took a good few months to get used to talking to people again. I am, however, not concerned about losing my voice again - I shouldn't be needing it anymore.

 

[KillingPain267]

The ultimate opting out of society is living in the woods or on an island or dying

 

[AbusedInnocent]

Makes sense, society should be opt-in anyway.

I have to agree that being alone is better than being with the wrong people, being lonely is still awful though.

Maybe check out the "make a friend megathread"?

 

[WiltingBogStar]

Makes sense, society should be opt-in anyway.

I have to agree that being alone is better than being with the wrong people, being lonely is still awful though.

Maybe check out the "make a friend megathread"?

Aye, the loneliness is the worst thing about this.

I'm on the third day of this little "scheme" of mine now and I'm really feeling it. Last night, it all hit me like a freight train and I ended up in a very dark place. A big part of me wants to take myself out of this state of house-arrest, go outside, and spend some time with other people. The real question ought to be… with whom?

You see, wherever I go, I never seem to meet anybody with whom I can form a genuine, two-way connection. The chemistry often just isn't there, I don't feel socially stimulated at all, and it feels like a chore if there's no actual connection motivating me to get out of bed, grab my phone, and arrange a meet-up. I try to give people a chance but, more often than not, it gets to the point where it feels as if I'm leading the other person on. I leave these kind of interactions feeling underwhelmed and hopeless.

The other problem is that I'm very prone to conflict. Something about me seems to make certain types of people want to fuck with me. I guess it's due to the fact that I'm very non-conformist (I've had my fair share of forced conformity when I was younger) and don't take shit from anybody due to the adults in my life always punching down when I was child. Hell, what triggered this whole "opting-out" thing was an outburst at somebody for speaking to me in a rude tone which ended up costing me my place in a therapy group. Whenever things like that happen, I end up feeling bitter and angry in addition to feeling lonely.

I fell asleep reminding myself that I'm isolating myself because, quite frankly, I've burnt all of my bridges (assuming these bridges were even there to begin with) and that I felt just as awful back when I was trying to socialise with others. The difference is that now I don't have to put in the effort and play pretend for little/no reward.

 

[sserafim]

Makes sense, society should be opt-in anyway.

I agree. It's annoying how we're all forced to participate in (and contribute to) society. I never wanted to at all

 

[alltoomuch2]

My story is probably fairy run-of-the-mill by this website's standards:

• Abusive family
• Bullying throughout my school days
• Conflict with colleagues at multiple jobs
• Trauma from all of the above

One curious thing to note is that I, surprisingly, became quite confident (and not bravado either) as an adult and I have fairly high self-esteem. I essentially went from being the communal punching bag to becoming the bitch who doesn't take shit from anybody but, either way, I guess I was just never meant to get along with other people.

I'll try and give an update every now and again, especially if anything changes. It's really become an experiment to see if I can actually feel better in the long-term by doing this; if it ends up making me worse than I was before, I'll stop the isolation and try something else.

I'm really tempted by this. Keep posting if you don't mind?

 

[Davey36000]

Go become a monk. Or a nomadic forager. Or hermit.

 

[imissmycat]

I'm doing this because I've concluded that all of my mental health issues stem from negative interactions with other people. Even my flashbacks and intrusive thoughts exclusively involve other people - all of my trauma was inflicted by other people. If I keep myself locked away, I will never have a negative interaction, or any interaction for that matter, with another human being again except for short, minute-long interactions couriers and delivery drivers. Perhaps it's not the best thing for solving my trauma but at least I won't be picking up any new trauma from other people.

This is word for word how I thought when I was 17 and had dropped out of high school. I then spent several years isolating myself in my parents' house. Not recommended. It fucked me up.

I know people suck, and life sucks, but this will only destroy your life even more.

I would prescribe daily solitary walks in the woods. Sit somewhere with a nice view. Walk around at night listening to audio books.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Aye, the loneliness is the worst thing about this.

I'm on the third day of this little "scheme" of mine now and I'm really feeling it. Last night, it all hit me like a freight train and I ended up in a very dark place. A big part of me wants to take myself out of this state of house-arrest, go outside, and spend some time with other people. The real question ought to be… with whom?

You see, wherever I go, I never seem to meet anybody with whom I can form a genuine, two-way connection. The chemistry often just isn't there, I don't feel socially stimulated at all, and it feels like a chore if there's no actual connection motivating me to get out of bed, grab my phone, and arrange a meet-up. I try to give people a chance but, more often than not, it gets to the point where it feels as if I'm leading the other person on. I leave these kind of interactions feeling underwhelmed and hopeless.

The other problem is that I'm very prone to conflict. Something about me seems to make certain types of people want to fuck with me. I guess it's due to the fact that I'm very non-conformist (I've had my fair share of forced conformity when I was younger) and don't take shit from anybody due to the adults in my life always punching down when I was child. Hell, what triggered this whole "opting-out" thing was an outburst at somebody for speaking to me in a rude tone which ended up costing me my place in a therapy group. Whenever things like that happen, I end up feeling bitter and angry in addition to feeling lonely.

I fell asleep reminding myself that I'm isolating myself because, quite frankly, I've burnt all of my bridges (assuming these bridges were even there to begin with) and that I felt just as awful back when I was trying to socialise with others. The difference is that now I don't have to put in the effort and play pretend for little/no reward.

Unfortunately the biggest crutch of this is "spending time with other people". That the kicker. It won't work. You're already on a forum that 99% of the general public wouldn't agree with and see you as having problems.

Go and talk out your issues with some animals. I'm not even fucking kidding. Some of them just from your tone of voice will get what's going on. You'll at least feel something when a cockatoo bites down hard and draws blood, a horse accidentally bites you or some geese start pecking you. It's actually kinda nice because compared to being around people who just want to show off what new shit they have, or new job or new baby or new whatever shit. Like fuck off. Come to me and tell me you've escaped the system and someone earn so much that nothijg can touch you and then start doing something maybe nice? Or your ego is too big now? You now want MORE? Yeah people.

I've met some fuck heads in my life who have so much BUT still want more. It's fucking absurd to me. A 6 bedroom house? Wtf. Unless you have multiple rescue animals I get it but it's NEVER the case. Same with the virtue signalling - I've got an electric car so I care more for the environment than you. Bitch you know how many children who got paid fuck all had to dig for the cobalt to make those batteries? You know when the car life ends those batteries are done for? Maybe do some research next time and stop being a sheep.

So yeah pensions will be fucked eventually (US it's going to run out by about 2035), the more they print the less the currency becomes (all governments) and nobody is having children (birth rates are down worldwide - you can't use outlier countries as it's only a few). SO this is a gradual slow burn collapse.

Take it from me. I knew I had to earn hundreds of thousands of pounds to be in an OK position (flat paid off and can live normally) but even that failed. And I got lucky with a contact through my dad but 10 years down the drain and it didn't work out. There is absolutely no way to fuckikg live now maybe if you work 3 jobs lmao. Those 3 jobs will be 5 in no time if the money printing continues. Oh and politics and the FED lol (all politicians and bankers are cunts), if trump gets in you'll see interest rates rise heavily and he'll get the blame. If Biden stays in they'll keep printing and blame someone else for the issues. So all these fuck heads make it worse for everyone else. US is 32 trillion in debt now I believe, other countries like China are saying fuck you to dollar backed securities. Everything is going to complete shite. ALL countries are done for.

Silver lining - some animals are going to make it thorough and evolve unlike us stupid fucking apes. Much better world I'd say.

 

[WiltingBogStar]

I'm really tempted by this. Keep posting if you don't mind?

I'll update you now. It's currently day… 4? I think. Heh, I'm already starting to lose count!

Binge-eating has gone down massively: no more running to the shop to buy junk food and no more ordering enough takeaway food to feed a family of six. I can't do either if I can't get the front door open in a timely manner. When I do binge, it has to be with ingredients already in the house (I don't keep junk food on-hand) and I have to cook it from scratch so, naturally, it ends up being "healthier" than binging on ultra-processed junk. I can still get groceries delivered but that'll be once every 3-4 weeks and the delivery time is arranged well in advance so I would have more than enough time to ratch around the back of the pantry for the key.

Pornography? I haven't touched the stuff since placing myself under house-arrest. I'm tempted but, to be honest, I can't be bothered doing that sort of thing. My desire for intimacy and connection has decreased - and that's a good thing, too, considering I couldn't get it back when I was a part of society.

Cutting is still a daily occurrence but I don't care since I'm well-aware that it's a trauma thing for me. It'll take more than a few days of isolation to get the flashbacks and intrusive thoughts to stop, assuming they'll ever stop, so I'm willing to be patient in that regard. I have enough disposable razor blades to last me a while and they're cheap enough to add to my grocery order; as long as I'm keeping them somewhat clean and taking in enough iron to compensate for the blood loss then there's no issue - besides, who's there to see my scars?

I have an appointment with the local mental health crisis team in a few hours and they've been trying to get this appointment with me since Wednesday but I've kept refusing; they've said it's my last chance to attend before they take me off of their books. Will I go? I doubt it: they, and other services like them, just waste my time with bullshit "coping strategies" that don't work and then antagonise me when I inevitably don't take to it like a fish to water. Every appointment I've had with those sorts of people has always left me feeling drained and achieving nothing so I really don't want to engage with these people ever again.

This is word for word how I thought when I was 17 and had dropped out of high school. I then spent several years isolating myself in my parents' house. Not recommended. It fucked me up.

I know people suck, and life sucks, but this will only destroy your life even more.

I would prescribe daily solitary walks in the woods. Sit somewhere with a nice view. Walk around at night listening to audio books.

This is something I worry about. What if, later on, I decide to be part of society again only to realise I've wasted my early 20s isolating myself? Then again, I've already been wasting my early 20s on fruitless social endeavours that either lead nowhere or end in tears. I struggle with anhedonia, so it's unlikely, but maybe I'll pick up a solitary hobby, become good at it, and find fulfilment that way? I won't hold my breath though.

This house is my space. It belongs to me. Something I did notice on the night before I went into isolation, however, is that when I go out in the middle of the night and walk around the empty streets it feels as if the whole outside world is my space: it belongs to me and me alone. Remember that "liminal spaces" meme a while back? I never did find them "creepy" as others apparently did: in fact, I found them quite relaxing. That's the feeling I get when walking around outside when there's no people to bother or threaten me. Maybe I will incorporate outside walks late at night into my routine?

Unfortunately the biggest crutch of this is "spending time with other people". That the kicker. It won't work. You're already on a forum that 99% of the general public wouldn't agree with and see you as having problems.

Pretty much. It seems people only want me to be a part of society so that the government can milk me for tax money. The whole "NEET-shaming" thing is bizarre, especially when it comes from somebody in the working class who is being screwed over by the government just as much, if not worse, than I am yet still continues to worship the Powers That Be. It's actually depressing to watch.

The never ask why we're the way we are either: that would actually require them to be introspective and ask themselves some difficult questions so it's much easier to just dismiss people like us as a bunch of crazy-types. And they wonder why I don't want to be part of their society!

… being around people who just want to show off what new shit they have, or new job or new baby or new whatever shit. Like fuck off. Come to me and tell me you've escaped the system and someone earn so much that nothijg can touch you and then start doing something maybe nice? Or your ego is too big now? You now want MORE? Yeah people.

I've met some fuck heads in my life who have so much BUT still want more. It's fucking absurd to me. A 6 bedroom house? Wtf. Unless you have multiple rescue animals I get it but it's NEVER the case. …

This is what turns me off people entirely. I have a Diogenes-esque mindset (work less; spend less - it's how I'm able to survive on welfare) so it's baffling hearing people talking about how they're working overtime to afford a holiday in Benidorm (literally all they will do is sit next to a swimming pool all week) when they could just say "fuck Benidorm" and spend the time they'd otherwise be working overtime with their friends & family instead - much more enjoyable and requires less work. They won't, though, because the media says that pointless, materialistic shit like that is worth working your arse off for. They gaslight you into making more money for your rich boss only to then gaslight you into giving more money to somebody else's rich boss with nothing left over for you. Madness.

So yeah pensions will be fucked eventually (US it's going to run out by about 2035), the more they print the less the currency becomes (all governments) and nobody is having children (birth rates are down worldwide - you can't use outlier countries as it's only a few). SO this is a gradual slow burn collapse.

Hence why I'm a NEET. It's all falling apart anyhow. I'm an anti-natalist (and later found out I was infertile lmao) so I really don't have any personal investment in the state of society beyond making sure that clean water comes out when I turn the tap. If things ever get so bad that I can't afford to NEET anymore, or the government cuts off my welfare, it'll just be another reason - probably the final straw - for me to CTB.

 

[Apathy79]

That's the feeling I get when walking around outside when there's no people to bother or threaten me. Maybe I will incorporate outside walks late at night into my routine?

I did this all the time. Probably roughly every 2nd night for years. Sometimes it'd be 30 mins, sometimes up to 8 hours. Never saw a single person. Does feel like you own it all. I'd definitely recommend it. You think different when walking in nature than at home.

Aye, the loneliness is the worst thing about this.

I'm on the third day of this little "scheme" of mine now and I'm really feeling it. Last night, it all hit me like a freight train and I ended up in a very dark place. A big part of me wants to take myself out of this state of house-arrest, go outside, and spend some time with other people. The real question ought to be… with whom?

This is a bit of a worry. I was the opposite of this. Absolutely loved having no people around. I was most content when I knew I wouldn't see a single other person for another year. It'll be interesting to see if you lose that desire to be with people or it grows. Probably too early to tell at this stage but will be key to whether this remains a good idea.

 

[Cress]

Yeah I've pretty much fallen off the radar. My finances are as such I don't really need to work or do anything. I live in a one bedroom apartment completely alone. I'm on my computer all day and don't really move around all that much. Every two weeks I get a In home immunoblobulin infusion treatment for a nerve condition.

I would have stopped eating a long time ago probably if I didn't have occasional outside mental health treatment stuff. However for the most part I can literally sleep for a week and really no one's gonna look for me.

 

[alltoomuch2]

All your comments guys, and especially now the "walking in the night" are making it sound so attractive. This is just me. Please keep posting. xxx

Aye, the loneliness is the worst thing about this.

I'm on the third day of this little "scheme" of mine now and I'm really feeling it. Last night, it all hit me like a freight train and I ended up in a very dark place. A big part of me wants to take myself out of this state of house-arrest, go outside, and spend some time with other people. The real question ought to be… with whom?

You see, wherever I go, I never seem to meet anybody with whom I can form a genuine, two-way connection. The chemistry often just isn't there, I don't feel socially stimulated at all, and it feels like a chore if there's no actual connection motivating me to get out of bed, grab my phone, and arrange a meet-up. I try to give people a chance but, more often than not, it gets to the point where it feels as if I'm leading the other person on. I leave these kind of interactions feeling underwhelmed and hopeless.

The other problem is that I'm very prone to conflict. Something about me seems to make certain types of people want to fuck with me. I guess it's due to the fact that I'm very non-conformist (I've had my fair share of forced conformity when I was younger) and don't take shit from anybody due to the adults in my life always punching down when I was child. Hell, what triggered this whole "opting-out" thing was an outburst at somebody for speaking to me in a rude tone which ended up costing me my place in a therapy group. Whenever things like that happen, I end up feeling bitter and angry in addition to feeling lonely.

I fell asleep reminding myself that I'm isolating myself because, quite frankly, I've burnt all of my bridges (assuming these bridges were even there to begin with) and that I felt just as awful back when I was trying to socialise with others. The difference is that now I don't have to put in the effort and play pretend for little/no reward.

The lack of connection and the frequent falling out is what happens to me (but I'm autistic so maybe that doesn't help). That's why I was planning on social isolation even before you posted.

 

[Cress]

All your comments guys, and especially now the "walking in the night" are making it sound so attractive. This is just me. Please keep posting. xxx

The lack of connection and the frequent falling out is what happens to me (but I'm autistic so maybe that doesn't help). That's why I was planning on social isolation even before you posted.

Yeah going around at night for a night drive is pretty nice. There is nothing better as a introvert than going for a night drive while listening to synth wave. You just have to be a little bit careful driving at night because police are super active and their speed traps everywhere. So don't do anything illegal.

The thing about social isolation is you're sort of hard wired as a human to need social interaction. You can try to watch youtube videos or hang out in a live Twitch stream To try to delay it but eventually your brain starts to freak out. It sort of depends on the person it can happen as early as five days But I would say after about three weeks you should be in the full swing of the effects of isolation.

I spent probably about half of my life completely alone so far. Do I regret it? I don't know. I grew up very isolated and alone as a child so I'm just repeating my childhood comfort of being alone. Probably has had more negative effects than positive.

Still I would say if this is your first time conducting this experiment of trying to be alone it's probably a healthy thing. You can learn a lot about yourself.

 

[imissmycat]

I'll update you now. It's currently day… 4? I think. Heh, I'm already starting to lose count

Wait 4 months. You'll lose track of the day, the time, everything. I haven't read everything you've written, so I'm making some assumptions.

You will lose what little confidence, self-esteem, productivity and social skills you have. You'll become depressed in a deep way that you don't even realise. It'll stick with you maybe for the rest of your life.

This is something I worry about. What if, later on, I decide to be part of society again only to realise I've wasted my early 20s isolating myself? Then again, I've already been wasting my early 20s on fruitless social endeavours that either lead nowhere or end in tears. I struggle with anhedonia, so it's unlikely, but maybe I'll pick up a solitary hobby, become good at it, and find fulfilment that way? I won't hold my breath though.

Yes you will absolutely regret wasting these years, if you stay alive. You'll fall behind in so many ways.

Pretty much. It seems people only want me to be a part of society so that the government can milk me for tax money. The whole "NEET-shaming" thing is bizarre, especially when it comes from somebody in the working class who is being screwed over by the government just as much, if not worse, than I am yet still continues to worship the Powers That Be. It's actually depressing to watch.

True, we are all cogs. We are biological machines without purpose. In the end all we can do is try to enjoy whatever our stupid instincts allow us to enjoy: friendship, love, sex, food, whatever. I've chosen to chase those "highs" - intentionally rather than instinctively like I'm assuming most people do - because there's nothing else to do. If you're going to stay alive you might as well try to enjoy it.

I really wish you'd not try to isolate yourself. Speaking from experience. Nothing good will come of it.

 

[WiltingBogStar]

I woke up this morning and was immediately hit by the loneliness again. It's like an intense pain in my chest. I've taken some paracetamol which should help a little. I also have a strong urge to cut myself - I'm not fighting it; I just lack the energy to act upon it at the moment.

I'm also highly motivated to CTB right now, Partial suspension hanging: all I have to do is walk <10 steps to the bathroom, tie a slipknot-noose to the shower-curtain railing (it's strong enough to resist a good amount of force and the pyjama bottoms I'm wearing do a decent job, I've tested both before), and get it over with - I lack the energy to go through with it, however, and the motivation will probably be gone by the time I've properly woken up.

I want to get help. I need help. But what help is there? Nothing I've tried myself works. Peer support has been completely one-sided: they want to help me but I feel no connection to them so the relationship eventually breaks down. The mental health services are ineffective and staffed by some horrible, horrible people; every avenue I've gone down, whether it's the NHS or a charity, has either been unable to help me or some power-tripping fucker ruined it for me. Hence why I've opted out of society completely. Why put in the effort when the outcome is the same?

This is a bit of a worry. I was the opposite of this. Absolutely loved having no people around. I was most content when I knew I wouldn't see a single other person for another year. It'll be interesting to see if you lose that desire to be with people or it grows. Probably too early to tell at this stage but will be key to whether this remains a good idea.

I reckon this lies with our differing motives for self-isolating: you were seeking something internal while I'm avoiding something external. I have very few, if any, pull factors motivating me to isolate; it's push factors from the outside world that really caused me to do this.

I'm very extraverted and basically have no hobbies - I'm just not wired up for that sort of thing. I struggle to enjoy my own company but the goal here isn't to enjoy myself; the goal is to suffer less than I was suffering outside.

 

[spentspirit]

Why not just opt out entirely and ctb? That's what I want to do.

 

[SamwiseGamgee]

First post here
Been reading without account

Yup, you could say that
I've been very socially isolated for a long time, but the last 1.5 years, I almost haven't left my apartment.

 

[WiltingBogStar]

Why not just opt out entirely and ctb? That's what I want to do.

I've been considering it. I got to the point today of having the noose tied around my neck while standing on the chair. I couldn't muster the courage to kick the chair, unfortunately. I freaked out, called the crisis line, and started ranting about my situation. Next thing I know, the coppers are banging on my front door.

Thankfully, this isn't America. Even if they wanted to put me on a psych ward, there are very few available beds in UK psych wards and pretty much all of them are exclusively reserved for violent patients who physically hurt other people. They don't care about regular suiciders here: I've literally been in A&E on a fluid drip for self-inflicted alcohol poisoning with suicidal intent and yet I was set free in under 24 hours.

I've been advised to go attend an anger management group due to an incident I had earlier in the week and, aye, I agree that it might help me; I've never done anger management before but what I do know is that most of my contact with mental health professionals in the past has resulted in them just pissing me off so it would be nice to speak to people who are already well-aware of my short fuse. It might actually be worth breaking my isolation for. Now, the real problem is seeing if there are even any anger management groups in this bumfuck nowhere region. Somebody from the NHS is going to phone me tomorrow and tell me if they've found anything.