Is it selfish to have kids?

  • Yes

  • No

  • Depending on the situation


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Krisis

Krisis

Member
Nov 16, 2023
27
Of course it is but I don't approach this question from the probably intended way. I don't think selfishness is inherently bad and I believe almost every, if not every, act is a selfish one. Of course, having a kid is just as selfish as breathing, which really means nothing in terms of reality.

You're right in claiming that this is meaningless in the real world. In an academic sense, perhaps you can write interestingly in support of the claim that people are locked into the pursuit of their own desires above all else, but in the real world, there is not much significance there. But, truthfully, I don't even believe such a perspective says anything accurate or interesting about human nature.

The only way having a child is not selfish is if it happens involuntarily, such as in cases of rape or very strong familial, societal, and/or cultural pressure.

I actually somewhat disagree with this or, at the very least, find it controversial. In my view, if someone is not willing to put up with, or attempt to navigate around, the consequences for themselves resulting from the refusal to have children, due to external factors like those you mentioned, there is a case to be made that the individual is acting selfishly. You would have to truly demonstrate the involuntary aspect here.

Regarding the basic idea of birthing a child, it cannot possibly align with selfishness. By definition, selfishness refers to the prioritization of oneself. People who want to have children because they find fulfilment in it aren't selfish; they'd be selfish if their prime motivator was their own self-expression or identity (which of course is not uncommon). And I would hope that parents find fulfillment in their roles; the alternative is what seems destructive to me.

How is the birthing and rearing of children a selfless act, in principle?

When I say having children is, "in principle", selfless, I am describing the basic nobility that goes into the decision to create life. You may disagree with the premise if you subscribe to antinatalism, but I don't.
 
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