Opinion : Is it selfish to have kids?

[TRIXI3]

Personally through personal life experience, I have began to think that it's selfish to have children… especially when the parents have health issues, disabilities, etc.

None of us asked to be dragged into this mess of a world, it just feels so self centered for a person to want kids and not understand the impact the world and life in general will have on them.

What do you guys think?

 

[020x]

I don't believe it's selfish, it's the existence that had started it all, we're just a part of it.

But I personally won't contribute to that.

 

[Takamagahara]

There are already plenty of children who were born without their consent and abandoned.

If you really feel the need for progeny, adopt. Propagate yourself through your kindness and your ideals, rather than through your genes.

There is no point to adding to the net misery of the world by creating more people with the capacity to experience suffering.

 

[Kerrtu]

Fallopian-free since '23

(actually more like since 2020, but for the sake of rhyming…)

 

[sammiechzxv]

As long as you're stable & ready, I don't think so. Life doesn't suck for everyone. If you can do everything you can to give a kid the best life possible then I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

 

[corgiee]

i personally don't think having children is inherently selfish as long as you're willing to give them a good life and know that you'll be able to provide them it. otherwise, it definitely is because that child will likely suffer.

 

[Minsu]

I think it's selfish. Every single human being does experience suffering throughout the life (not to mention dying) and I'm against any kind of suffering

 

[Stuckinpast28]

Not really it depends on a lot of factors. If you are ready and willing to have a kid and you are never gonna abandon them, then it would be okay in my book, otherwise don't even bother you'll fuck the kid before he gets a chance. It's also important to teach them that if they want to get somewhere in life they have to be ready and willing to fight dirty and devout their whole energy to that goal if they don't want that then they should settle for a peaceful life just doing something they like if possible be their own boss because working for someone else is BS

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

any way you look at it, it's just a primitive act. nature built that into everyone. thank god for condoms etc or we'd really be in trouble. the poorest nations are at crisis levels. no food, no housing yet they keep reproducing.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Breeders have a special place in Hell waiting for them.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

It's selfish and delusional

 

[jbear824]

I think so. If the world was a better place I would probably say no. But humanity has chosen to live in profoundly stupid, harmful and cruel ways. And I think bringing children into the world and essentially forcing them to be part of those awful systems is a bit selfish yes.

 

[redeyepiranha]

If society wasn't so cruel and callous and euthanasia was allowed, it wouldn't be so selfish. However I can't blame people for having kids, unfortunately, it's a part of evolution. Personally, I was born into caring and loving family, but I still ended up suicidal.

 

[whywere]

I have written it too many times on SaSu about my "parents". Let's just say that I got kicked out at 18 and never heard from them again ever, 100% their choice.

I never had kids, I am 67, and I have always wondered if my non-existent upbringing had a factor in it. i remember neighbors who had 17 kids in the family and no thank you ever.

Also, for me, I grew up ultra poor and I told myself that I never wanted to be food, shelter and clothing insecure again ever and I never have.

That is one of the wonders of life and being human is we all get to make your own choices, good bad or in between.

Walter

 

[Forever Sleep]

I find it difficult to believe that people REALLY think it through when they have children. Do they really consider the VERY REAL possibility that their child may well struggle terribly in life? Their child may develop illness and it will certainly die one day. They must have experienced some bad things in life. I don't know- maybe they really believe the good outweighs the bad. That they will be able to give that child a good life. They can't be there for it all the time though. There are so many things they simply can't protect their child from. It just seems like such a risk to me.

I suppose I do think it's selfish ultimately. They want to feel loved and needed. They want that child to complete their lives. I'm sure they absolutely do want the best for that child but life is an absolute lottery. There are SO many things that they have no hope of protecting their child from: illness, bereavement, bullying, physical and sexual assault, failure. How do you even prepare a person to deal with some of the things in life we end up having to deal with?!!

I don't think it's maybe that they are knowingly being selfish. I think they are blinded by their instincts to reproduce, family and society pressure to conform and a rose tinted view. They may actually be right of course. Perhaps their child will love life and thrive but- it could so easily go the other way. It does seem selfish to me to begin a process that could well end in so much unhappiness and pain. The risk just seems too great for me.

 

[Daxter_87]

To me, there is no more selfish and cruel act, regardless of the circumstances, for it opens the door to any and all conceivable harm in existence, something that wouldn't otherwise be possible. I struggle to understand how prospective parents can conclude that it's no big deal to bring forth the next generation of victims, who will undoubtedly experience some, or many, of the hardships that await them around every corner.

So, no, there's no chance of me ever producing offspring of my own, and the vasectomy I'm planning to get will only further prevent it from happening. Indeed, only if society were to completely brainwash and delude me, could I ever commit such a heinous crime.

 

[FuneralCry]

Not just selfish, forcing life into this hellish reality will always be criminal to me, I will always see procreation as such a disgusting, tragic crime, it's so harmful burdening one with the ability to be tormented endlessly when previously they were unaware, I wish I never existed more than anything and I will always hate how I have to endure this existence.

The compassionate thing would be to leave the non-existent alone and all I've ever wished for is peace from this existence, I just find it so devastating how anyone has to suffer so unnecessarily, all the pain and torture that existing beings go through is ultimately all because people decided to so cruelly force life into this replusive world after all. Without existence one would never suffer.

It's just horrible to me how this cycle of endless suffering continues, to have the ability to exist is such an undeseved punishment especially as we cannot just free ourselves in peace in a guaranteed way, instead we are just expected to suffer.

 

[GreenTree]

So the people who voted yes. Do you hate your parents for creating you. They never knew the pain you'd suffer ?

 

[アホペンギン]

Yes, it is always selfish to procreate, regardless of the financial situation or how skilled the parents are at raising children in a good manner. There is always unlimited potential to suffer greatly in this world which is why i think that having kids should never be done. I'd rather have the human race die off than have more and more souls that are doomed to a future of suffering be denied the privilege to end their lives by the society. The world is fucked up now.

 

[DazaiKinnie]

Personally through personal life experience, I have began to think that it's selfish to have children… especially when the parents have health issues, disabilities, etc.

None of us asked to be dragged into this mess of a world, it just feels so self centered for a person to want kids and not understand the impact the world and life in general will have on them.

What do you guys think?

It is selfish, all reasons to have kids start with "I", the potential children, and never put first. It is always selfish to have children and will always be. The situation doesn't matter, rich or poor, you can't violate the consent of another person, if that person doesn't exist.
Plus think more about it, by having kids you are exposing them to harm that is certain to happen at one point in their lives and the person responsible is the one who brought them into existence along with the one who harmed them.

 

[neonzebra]

Of course it's selfish.. but most human actions are.

 

[Roseate]

So the people who voted yes. Do you hate your parents for creating you. They never knew the pain you'd suffer ?

How could they not? Pain is everywhere. And a lot can happen. We're not guaranteed a happy life so they were either very delusional or they knew the pain AND chose to birth and put us through the same or even worse pain? And for some people, their parents go on to cause them worse pain and genetically they screw us all the time. I understand the process is part of life, but having like 2 plus children when there are children out there with no parents is selfish. No matter how you put it. People have children to fix their wounds and lean on them to fix themselves, causing those children pain. They ignore their children pain. Most parents aren't loving, caring, and amazing parents. And the best they can do is not enough because having kids is a choice. Enough is not good enough. Above and beyond is the only acceptable response for parents.

 

[Kerrtu]

Breeders have a special place in Hell waiting for them.

The only Breeders I'm a fan of…

So the people who voted yes. Do you hate your parents for creating you. They never knew the pain you'd suffer ?

Our parents knew pain before deciding to have a 3rd child, ie me. They fought before I was born, our father dealt with his misery by drinking and usually becoming violent either physically or verbally. Words can and do fucking slice through the soul at times.

Our mother dealt with heroin addiction though by the time I was born, she was sober or "clean". She traded that vice with becoming a Jehovah's Witness; they were successful in recruiting her so to speak, as she confided her little brother had died of a heroin overdose and the Jehovah's Witnesses told her she would definitely see him again in the "new system" or "paradise" as they refer to the world post-armageddon, which they believe can happen any day. At any time.

Anyhow - do I hate my parents for bringing me into this world of hurt? Ourmother died in November of 2019. I've spoken with my sister about this particular feeling regarding her death. It felt like growing up and even once we each left the house, we had grieved her so many times. Our mother tried many versions of herself after leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses, forgetting who she was in the process. To hold her cremains was surreal (understatement). She was finally done with all of that, she was gone. She was free. I don't hate her. I do think she made the mistake, along with my father, of having children either too soon or at all. They each had a lot of trauma which went unaddressed before having children. They didn't think it through.

Our father is a vessel of anger and rage. My sister and I were texting the other day, laughing about this time when she had sent him a care package containing orzo, how it sent him into a rage because he didn't know was orzo was. My sister said something to the effect of being grateful we can laugh about a lot of it since we essentially didn't have parents. Hell, my sister signed my school report cards and wrote my sick letters, made my lunch when someone remembered to have food for us. Anyhow, I don't hate our father - he has hurt me so deeply, I do wish for some kind of justice at times. But, nothing can unravel the knot of pain and hurt he has deliberately and delightfully inflicted on me.

 

[tobby rabbit]

I don't think it's selfish. Yes, they are going to have some problems in the future, maybe they are going to suffer but if you are a good mom/dad you will try to show the best of the world.
It's selfish only when you want kids without knowing what you need to do so they don't have to go through pain, or have no idea how to make them truly love life but not because of some "god" that will decide whether you go to hell or not.

 

[Rabitfever]

Can't think of one non selfish reason for having kids

 

[Lost Magic]

Personally, I think deeply disturbed and financially unstable people should not be having kids. But to be honest, I don't think anybody really needs to bring new life forms into a dying planet with finite resources and nuclear capabilities. Just let the human race die out ffs.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Breeders have a special place in Hell waiting for them.

Seriously? You want people to be tormented in the afterlife merely because they had kids? I'm an antinatalist myself, but I realize that a lot of people who have kids just don't realize how horrible life can really get if it hasn't happened to them. Antinatalism is supposed to be about compassion, but what you're talking about isn't that.

I picked that it depends on the situation. I think if most would-be parents would stop to consider whether their reasons are selfish or not and have the self awareness to know when they are or aren't, then there would be less kids growing up dysfunctional and ending up suffering for it. Alot of parents don't even think about it, they just do it, and that's what bothers me the most.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Seriously? You want people to be tormented in the afterlife merely because they had kids? I'm an antinatalist myself, but I realize that a lot of people who have kids just don't realize how horrible life can really get if it hasn't happened to them. Antinatalism is supposed to be about compassion, but what you're talking about isn't that.

I picked that it depends on the situation. I think if most would-be parents would stop to consider whether their reasons are selfish or not and have the self awareness to know when they are or aren't, then there would be less kids growing up dysfunctional and ending up suffering for it. Alot of parents don't even think about it, they just do it, and that's what bothers me the most.

All parents need to be drawn and quartered in Hell...on repeat...forever.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

All parents need to be drawn and quartered in Hell...on repeat...forever.

Thank you.

So glad you're not the one that has a saying about that.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

It's happening on repeat in hell forever. I asked a medium. She confirmed it