This my first post in the recovery forum. Earlier this week I had my SN mixed and was ready to take it but pussied out. I was extremely depressed afterwards. I made a post on reddit yesterday asking about research chemicals and which ones I could take to end it all. One person reccomended that before I do it, I should atleast try getting fucked up on opiates and see if it helps. Sounds like terrible advice but I did it last night. I took 10mg hydrocodone, smoked 2 joints, took 2 shots of whiskey, and 100mg hydroxyzine (opiate potentiator) and got extremely fucked up. That was my first time ever doing opiates. I woke up this morning and things are honestly looking up. My biggest problem right now (not only problem) that was causing me to want to kill myself is rapid hair loss at 19. Ive known about hair systems (pretty much just wigs for men) for a long time but couldnt see myself wearing one and keeping up with all of maintenance involved but today I feel like im going to make the leap soon and try one out. Theyre basically undetectable if put on correctly. Have no idea how hydrocodone shifted my mentality this much when mushrooms, lsd, and ket just made me more depressed but im glad I tried it. I dont recommend anyone try this though because holy shit it feels amazing and I see why people are so addicted to those things. Gonna try to do this and make an attempt at recovery. I still have my SN as a backup which will go bad at some point but I also have a shotgun so if things dont work out, I still have a way out. Anybody have thoughts on any of this? Just really wanted to share and talk about it
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I'm happy that hydrocodone helped you. Basically it's what opoides are supposed to do, give you the feeling that everything is allright and that you can deal with problems. I know quite a few people who have taken opoids in times of trouble (like being at the verge of failing college or becoming homeless) in order to deal with their situation. Opoids can take away depression and anxiety while you're on them. The down side is the rapidly growing tolerance and as a consequence addiction.
So try to use this feeling of hope and being able to deal with things to have another try at life, but try not to count on opoids as a permanent solution. If you still decide to take opoids more often, try to use only pharmaceutical stuff, so you know what exactly and how much you take and keep notes on when, what and how much you take in order to not lose track on your consumption and avoid slipping into addiction.
So try to use this feeling of hope and being able to deal with things to have another try at life, but try not to count on opoids as a permanent solution. If you still decide to take opoids more often, try to use only pharmaceutical stuff, so you know what exactly and how much you take and keep notes on when, what and how much you take in order to not lose track on your consumption and avoid slipping into addiction.
Yes, I have experience with heroin, tramadol, oxycodone, kratom, tilidin, fentanyl, methadone, buprenorphine, poppy tea, opium and codeine. However, I have never taken hydrocodone as I have never had access to it. For all I know hydrocodone is supposed to be one of the most euphoric opioids along with heroin and oxycodone. I've never taken any of these substances over extended periods of time as I didn't want to get addicted to them.
Justnotme
I want to hang myself
- Mar 7, 2022
- 633
