Venting Only now mentally hitting me I was assaulted

[HollowDrop]

My mind is only now 3 and half weeks after the happening starting to process that I was SA'd very much against my will, against my multiple objections. It came suddenly crashing down this morning when I woke up at 8 AM and I started uncontrollably crying. I suppose my mind was frozen trying to protect itself until now, trying to live like it never happened. I feel nothing but shame and disgust through my entire being right now, but at least I gathered the courage to call the hospital and I got lab test times for later this week in case I got infected with anything.
My mind can't believe this happened at all, maybe it just doesn't want to believe. Considering reporting to the police because I feel like this person is a danger to other young women but I'm also scared I won't be taken seriously. I told this person multiple times in various phrases to stop but he did not. I was too scared to hit him, he didn't give a shit about what I had to say so how would he react if I more violently resisted? I'm not very physically fit either. He did not care how I felt. I feel extremely degraded and the sudden crash of realization is taking a toll on my mental strength.
I'm just glad I have my cat to soothe me, and that I can get lab tested so soon. A short while after it happened I was terribly sick and still feel weird so I am worried I caught something off him.

 

[puella]

None of this was your fault; please don't feel ashamed. You are so strong, and I am so proud of you for moving forward.

I am so, so sorry for what happened. I'm here for you, so please message me if you think I can do anything to comfort you. I am sorry I can't do more for you. I wish I could take your pain away.

Give your cat a big hug, and try to remember that you are safe now.

 

[Stormy Raine]

I'm sending your virtual hugs and kisses I'm sorry you had to endure that awful situation, I can't imagine how you must feel. You don't have to feel ashamed, take those emotions and when you're ready please put them into filing a report! If he done this to you, he will more likely make someone else feel how you're feeling now! I hope your results come back ok and everything is good. I'm so sorry my friend.

 

[Enlighten]

My mind is only now 3 and half weeks after the happening starting to process that I was SA'd very much against my will, against my multiple objections. It came suddenly crashing down this morning when I woke up at 8 AM and I started uncontrollably crying. I suppose my mind was frozen trying to protect itself until now, trying to live like it never happened. I feel nothing but shame and disgust through my entire being right now, but at least I gathered the courage to call the hospital and I got lab test times for later this week in case I got infected with anything.
My mind can't believe this happened at all, maybe it just doesn't want to believe. Considering reporting to the police because I feel like this person is a danger to other young women but I'm also scared I won't be taken seriously. I told this person multiple times in various phrases to stop but he did not. I was too scared to hit him, he didn't give a shit about what I had to say so how would he react if I more violently resisted? I'm not very physically fit either. He did not care how I felt. I feel extremely degraded and the sudden crash of realization is taking a toll on my mental strength.
I'm just glad I have my cat to soothe me, and that I can get lab tested so soon. A short while after it happened I was terribly sick and still feel weird so I am worried I caught something off him.

So sorry you had to go through this. It's a good thing you're taking action to protect yourself and society.
Good that you have your cat too soothe you. If you feel like talking to a human, my DM's are open.