Online dating is something else

[CallmeWill4719]

All week been talking to guys, most of them in the same foreign country and it's weird sometimes. Like, you don't wanna look so intense and possessive I guess but like, so many don't really show any interest it seems like. I understand people get busy but idk I make time for people I want to talk too. Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't want anyone desperate for me but show some passion haha. It's a strange thing. Only because I can't meet anyone around here.

Anyone know the struggle or am I alone?

 

[banger12]

All week been talking to guys, most of them in the same foreign country and it's weird sometimes. Like, you don't wanna look so intense and possessive I guess but like, so many don't really show any interest it seems like. I understand people get busy but idk I make time for people I want to talk too. Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't want anyone desperate for me but show some passion haha. It's a strange thing. Only because I can't meet anyone around here.

Anyone know the struggle or am I alone?

Are you talking long distance stuff? I can't tell you what to do but I'd advise against it. As for your frustrations it seems perfectly valid and I get that it sucks when you're trying to engage romantically with people and they seem disconnected or disinterested. I think the format of it (assuming this is LDR or e-dating stuff) lends itself to a variety of reasons to why this kinda behavior happens within it. Perhaps I should'nt jump to assumptions though, is there a reason that makes it impossible to date IRL?

Also I can relate to this too because at one point (probably a long ass time ago now lol) I tried out an LDR with a girl I met online. It didn't last very long and I dealt with the same problem of her disinterest and it fucked with me more than it probably should've.

Hope you're doing ok and that you luck out and one of these dudes ends up showing more interest and passion. Best wishes.

 

[CallmeWill4719]

Are you talking long distance stuff? I can't tell you what to do but I'd advise against it. As for your frustrations it seems perfectly valid and I get that it sucks when you're trying to engage romantically with people and they seem disconnected or disinterested. I think the format of it (assuming this is LDR or e-dating stuff) lends itself to a variety of reasons to why this kinda behavior happens within it. Perhaps I should'nt jump to assumptions though, is there a reason that makes it impossible to date IRL?

Also I can relate to this too because at one point (probably a long ass time ago now lol) I tried out an LDR with a girl I met online. It didn't last very long and I dealt with the same problem of her disinterest and it fucked with me more than it probably should've.

Hope you're doing ok and that you luck out and one of these dudes ends up showing more interest and passion. Best wishes.

ugh well right after I made this post, a dude told me I don't know pain and showed me the aftermath of a storm they just had.....yeah.....did not need that. I'm a guy and it's not impossible but it's hard to meet decent guys around here or in my state into me.

It's really really really sad I connect with people on here far more than any dating site. Are we the ones who are crazy or is it everyone else? sorry to hear about your thing though, it's awful. Like just show some passion people. Online dating is supposed to make things easier not harder.

 

[banger12]

ugh well right after I made this post, a dude told me I don't know pain and showed me the aftermath of a storm they just had.....yeah.....did not need that. I'm a guy and it's not impossible but it's hard to meet decent guys around here or in my state into me.

It's really really really sad I connect with people on here far more than any dating site. Are we the ones who are crazy or is it everyone else? sorry to hear about your thing though, it's awful. Like just show some passion people. Online dating is supposed to make things easier not harder.

That's rough. Also, makes sense why you'd do online dating. I personally gave up on trying to pursue a relationship. I don't have the confidence and fear perpetually consumes me. Idk what online dating is even like (I met the girl in a non-dating server lol).

The more I think about it the more I think sanity is a myth and that mentally ill people are more guilty of caring than anything

 

[dontwakemeup]

I think those LDR sites are all fantasy based. Everyone acts so happy and they claim their life is so perfect, and blah blah. Soon as you ask why thete are single, it's the same story..their ex did this and that, it's never them of course.

I tried it and the men became a nuisance! I won't go into details too much to tell, but it never works. If that's your thing I highly suggest you meet w/I a month or so of talking.

 

[avalokitesvara]

Dating sites/apps are hell. They literally are designed to do the exact opposite of what they are supposedly for, connecting people. Most people who use them are just bored and get addicted to the dopamine hit of swiping and matching. Either that or they are scummy or scammers in some way. The apps themselves are designed to get people to keep using them, it actively prevents genuine connection. Someone naive and genuine like you is just more fodder for their profits, I'm sorry to say.

I get that it's hard to meet people when you're in a niche for whatever reason, personal and geographical, but the only way I have been in anyway successful with these apps to really meet people is to keep it strictly geographically limited, and meet up with people as soon as possible. If you jus want to chat with people far away I guess you can probably make that happen, but please be careful, anyone willing to do that may be assuming an identity, have sketchy ulterior motives, or just be fucking with you for sick entertainment. Don't trust someone you've never met and won't be able to meet.

We have been done dirty in this world. They got everyone hooked on their phones so it's impossible/very hard to connect irl anymore, and gave us these bullshit apps and social media instead which actually prevent connection and make you feel even more rejected and lonely, and put you at risk of being scammed or messed with. It's evil.

I'd try and find some communities online or irl related to a hobby or interest you have, in order for there to be some basis to a connection you make. It's easy to bond with people here because we all have a shared common interest.

 

[CallmeWill4719]

Dating sites/apps are hell. They literally are designed to do the exact opposite of what they are supposedly for, connecting people. Most people who use them are just bored and get addicted to the dopamine hit of swiping and matching. Either that or they are scummy or scammers in some way. The apps themselves are designed to get people to keep using them, it actively prevents genuine connection. Someone naive and genuine like you is just more fodder for their profits, I'm sorry to say.

I get that it's hard to meet people when you're in a niche for whatever reason, personal and geographical, but the only way I have been in anyway successful with these apps to really meet people is to keep it strictly geographically limited, and meet up with people as soon as possible. If you jus want to chat with people far away I guess you can probably make that happen, but please be careful, anyone willing to do that may be assuming an identity, have sketchy ulterior motives, or just be fucking with you for sick entertainment. Don't trust someone you've never met and won't be able to meet.

We have been done dirty in this world. They got everyone hooked on their phones so it's impossible/very hard to connect irl anymore, and gave us these bullshit apps and social media instead which actually prevent connection and make you feel even more rejected and lonely, and put you at risk of being scammed or messed with. It's evil.

I'd try and find some communities online or irl related to a hobby or interest you have, in order for there to be some basis to a connection you make. It's easy to bond with people here because we all have a shared common interest.

That is true isn't it? This is like a "club" of sorts so yeah makes sense most of us get along easily. I don't know, I try to be positive under all my darkness, may have some connections but we will see. Thank you. Asian culture specifically, they just seem to appreciate me more than anyone local. I'm American. Maybe "opposites attract" I guess

 

[banger12]

I think those LDR sites are all fantasy based. Everyone acts so happy and they claim their life is so perfect, and blah blah. Soon as you ask why thete are single, it's the same story..their ex did this and that, it's never them of course.

I tried it and the men became a nuisance! I won't go into details too much to tell, but it never works. If that's your thing I highly suggest you meet w/I a month or so of talking.

Who knows, a lot of it could also have financial scams going on under the facade. Sorry about your shitty experience.

 

[CallmeWill4719]

I think those LDR sites are all fantasy based. Everyone acts so happy and they claim their life is so perfect, and blah blah. Soon as you ask why thete are single, it's the same story..their ex did this and that, it's never them of course.

I tried it and the men became a nuisance! I won't go into details too much to tell, but it never works. If that's your thing I highly suggest you meet w/I a month or so of talking.

really not a bad idea actually. i tried with the last guy i was "with" but his self loathing wouldn't let me. one guy I'm talking to might be more open to it. hope so.

 

[dontwakemeup]

really not a bad idea actually. i tried with the last guy i was "with" but his self loathing wouldn't let me. one guy I'm talking to might be more open to it. hope so.

It definitely help pass time. I'm sure there are great guys on there, but I didn't find any.
It was the constant calls, text, request for you to send pictures everyday and the constant harassment of meeting immediately. It was a bit much for me. Most of the men weren't attractive and I felt like I was settling because I was lonely.

If you meet a great guy, consider yourself lucky. I definitely wish you the best in your search.

 

[CallmeWill4719]

You know I always assume that people on these websites know what they want but I don't think they even do. I appreciate your kind words it's rough out there