Venting One Last Thing

[vivia]

i got this one friend. he's from my old circle that split ages ago. still talks to me tho. dude's lowkey a slacker-mess, like jesse from breaking bad season 1, lol. he built a new circle. same as everyone else. we all drifted. but he's the one who still hits me up. i've told him stuff. even said i wanna check the bus. he acts like he don't care. like my sad stories bounce off him. then he always wraps it with "wanna hang?" or "come thru." talks about new friends like it's flex. but if things hit the fan he ghosts to me again. funny setup

not mad. not 'cause i'm cool being second option. ngl i'm just glad someone remembers me. someone still wants to talk. someone still calls me a friend. his "don't care" vibe? i think it's his weird way to dodge my sadness. he cuts the topic off, sweeps it under the rug. implicit move. when he does mention my shit he ends up teasing me somehow. i take it. guess it's better than silence

am i being too naive? hoping for too much? maybe. i'm tired. being the one with nothing is exhausting from day one, hopes, future, dreams, all kinda gone​

 

[Gonk]

I don't have much to say about this as I think I am pretty bad about these topics. However, what I believe is setting up "golden rules" and being always vigilant about those.

Things like these. For instance my parents say that if I become unemployed, lazzy slacker who sits on his ... all day, then they would be equally guilty by feeding me without any expectations, which they are right as this pushes me into being lazy more. In this example, their golden rule is "trying to not make your child depent on themselves because it is equally bad as much as not helping your child"

Now, as for your situation, I get some bad smells by that "don't care" attitude... Not caring about things is something but not caring about someone else's matters is another. However, I can't pinpoint its reason, maybe it is because he also fears being honest? Because I remember hearing same from a friend. And I exactly remember how it was hard to process for me, to not burst something like "yeah, I consider same" However, reason could be something else. I would say consider that is your own mini-side quest to figure out.