Once you convince your mind that suicide is an option there's no going back to normal life

[motel rooms]

Yup

 

[Yasuke]

Yeah Im weeks away from suicide because there's no end in sight

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, I really agree with your thread.
I will always be suicidal, no matter how much love, money, friends and so on I have.

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

This is so true. Even if you turn your life around and are truly happy, once you've justified the act of suicide and the logic of it, it's impossible not to see it as an option.

 

[KiloCharlieBravo]

Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.

This is so true.

 

[nolifer]

The problem is that you have to choose between life or suicide. It's not possible to live life if you always have suicide as your ultimate goal.

Relationship/dating? Nope, not if you have CTB plans.
Long term careers/investments/retirement plans/etc? Nope, not going to live that long.
Put a lot of time into learning some profession, either for work or as a hobby/passion? Nope, it's pointless when you have plans to CTB anyway.
Buy a pet? Nope, too great and long term responsibility when you have plans to CTB.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yeah, I agree with this. Even if somebody tries to recover and puts the thoughts behind them, I think if they get in a crisis again their mind will drift to suicide even if they dont mean to. We can never erase our memories so the fact that suicide is an option will never leave their mind.

 

[Silver]

There can be times when suicidal thoughts don't exist and it feels strange and horrifying that you were suicidal. I felt that way for a few years. Now I'm suicidal it feels a normal mindset to be in and I can't imagine wanting to live and having plans for the future etc.

The problem is that you have to choose between life or suicide. It's not possible to live life if you always have suicide as your ultimate goal.

Relationship/dating? Nope, not if you have CTB plans.
Long term careers/investments/retirement plans/etc? Nope, not going to live that long.
Put a lot of time into learning some profession, either for work or as a hobby/passion? Nope, it's pointless when you have plans to CTB anyway.
Buy a pet? Nope, too great and long term responsibility when you have plans to CTB.

This is true.

 

[Jemo_]

Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.

This is so true....it becomes an addiction/obsession that is so difficult if not impossible, to break.

This is so true....it becomes an addiction/obsession that is so difficult if not impossible, to break.

Most especially when you've already made irreversible bad decisions in your life because you were suicidal...it gets to the point when there's nothing to go back to hence suicide remains as the only viable and most reasonable move to make...

 

[IanUK]

Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.

Agree entirely every single day I think I want to go

 

[Foreversad]

Definitely

 

[CatTheBus5689]

There was only one thing I felt when I finally gave in and thought about the option.

Freedom.

 

[whyidon'tknow]

I completely agree with the title of this thread. Working on how your brain thinks is like actually working out. You have to be consistent to see results. Just like some people arent dedicated to working out some people are dedicated to working their minds

 

[livinginthepast]

I have to agree with this. It seems like the only option .

 

[down for the count]

I even have a hard time putting in the effort of conforming when I know I want to CTB.

 

[VicMackey]

Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.

I completely agree with you

 

[hdahsa]

I do agree with this thought. Once you know that you have a 'way out' then that thought will never be out of your mind. Whenever you hit a wall or find yourself in a difficult situation, the first thought will mostly be ctb.

 

[Cant go back]

I agree there is no going back to normal life. But for me I actually feel freer and less afraid of death. It's made me much less of a pussy, standing up for myself, less afraid of confrontation etc.

I'm glad I got this far. There is no going back either.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

It's incredible how it can go from just being a way out, to a unique experience you can look forward to. I think about ctb every day.

 

[Winklemate]

I honestly can't even remember a time where suicide wasn't how I saw the end of my story going and that's definitely informed several of my decisions over the years, so I definitely agree with this.

 

[insanedoomer]

100% agree .

 

[Neowise]

Thinking of suicide is like Eden's sweet forbidden fruit.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

L'appel du vide, the call of the void.

Hearing it once is all it takes for you to fall victim to one of the worst earworms of all time. Inside you, the same melody plays and replays in a never-ending loop, trapping you in a vicious cycle of itching and scratching.

 

[spixs_macaw]

It's incredible how it can go from just being a way out, to a unique experience you can look forward to. I think about ctb every day.

i agree. Thinking about ctb is so … relieving. It really comforts me while I need to make it through another day.

 

[DarkRose]

Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.

I understand that feeling completely. I hope you will get better. <3

 

[Wait-Bus]

Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.

I agree - it always pops into my brain at the strangest times - like not thinking about it for a month or so - and then I think about it in a client meeting - it's strange. It seems to know how to pop up as an idea at the strangest of times.

 

[Wannagonow]

i agree. Thinking about ctb is so … relieving. It really comforts me while I need to make it through another day.

I find it comforting too. I have for so many years. Sometimes I find myself daydreaming about it on my worst days. Like you said, it gets you thru the day.

 

[tyasma]

The problem is that you have to choose between life or suicide. It's not possible to live life if you always have suicide as your ultimate goal.

Relationship/dating? Nope, not if you have CTB plans.
Long term careers/investments/retirement plans/etc? Nope, not going to live that long.
Put a lot of time into learning some profession, either for work or as a hobby/passion? Nope, it's pointless when you have plans to CTB anyway.
Buy a pet? Nope, too great and long term responsibility when you have plans to CTB.

I even have a hard time putting in the effort of conforming when I know I want to CTB.

 

[reverse03]

Totally true. As a child around 10-12 years old, I was already searching or trying to suicide. Then I completely forgot being suicidal for a long time. Now that it is back again I cannot foresee my life without suicide. Especially now I discovered SaSu and the sources that I can use. I feel like I can make my suicide dream real.

 

[Anon1337]

Suicidal ideation can be a coping mechanism. It's a way out if life becomes unbearable. Knowing that I can ctb and be rid of this life is comforting.