motel rooms
Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
- Apr 13, 2021
- 7,081
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Yes, I really agree with your thread.
I will always be suicidal, no matter how much love, money, friends and so on I have.
I will always be suicidal, no matter how much love, money, friends and so on I have.
ThrownAwayTom
Experienced
- Oct 3, 2020
- 276
This is so true. Even if you turn your life around and are truly happy, once you've justified the act of suicide and the logic of it, it's impossible not to see it as an option.
KiloCharlieBravo
Member
- May 4, 2021
- 14
The problem is that you have to choose between life or suicide. It's not possible to live life if you always have suicide as your ultimate goal.
Relationship/dating? Nope, not if you have CTB plans.
Long term careers/investments/retirement plans/etc? Nope, not going to live that long.
Put a lot of time into learning some profession, either for work or as a hobby/passion? Nope, it's pointless when you have plans to CTB anyway.
Buy a pet? Nope, too great and long term responsibility when you have plans to CTB.
Relationship/dating? Nope, not if you have CTB plans.
Long term careers/investments/retirement plans/etc? Nope, not going to live that long.
Put a lot of time into learning some profession, either for work or as a hobby/passion? Nope, it's pointless when you have plans to CTB anyway.
Buy a pet? Nope, too great and long term responsibility when you have plans to CTB.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,301
Yeah, I agree with this. Even if somebody tries to recover and puts the thoughts behind them, I think if they get in a crisis again their mind will drift to suicide even if they dont mean to. We can never erase our memories so the fact that suicide is an option will never leave their mind.
Silver
The 21st century is when everything changes
- Aug 8, 2020
- 745
There can be times when suicidal thoughts don't exist and it feels strange and horrifying that you were suicidal. I felt that way for a few years. Now I'm suicidal it feels a normal mindset to be in and I can't imagine wanting to live and having plans for the future etc.
This is true.
Jemo_
No_other_way_outta_this_sh#thole
- Apr 22, 2021
- 42
This is so true....it becomes an addiction/obsession that is so difficult if not impossible, to break.
Most especially when you've already made irreversible bad decisions in your life because you were suicidal...it gets to the point when there's nothing to go back to hence suicide remains as the only viable and most reasonable move to make...
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Foreversad
(D)uck prolifers
- Jun 21, 2021
- 413
CatTheBus5689
Member
- Jun 22, 2021
- 76
There was only one thing I felt when I finally gave in and thought about the option.
Freedom.
Freedom.
I completely agree with the title of this thread. Working on how your brain thinks is like actually working out. You have to be consistent to see results. Just like some people arent dedicated to working out some people are dedicated to working their minds
meetapple
Mage
- Jun 3, 2021
- 585
I even have a hard time putting in the effort of conforming when I know I want to CTB.
I do agree with this thought. Once you know that you have a 'way out' then that thought will never be out of your mind. Whenever you hit a wall or find yourself in a difficult situation, the first thought will mostly be ctb.
I agree there is no going back to normal life. But for me I actually feel freer and less afraid of death. It's made me much less of a pussy, standing up for myself, less afraid of confrontation etc.
I'm glad I got this far. There is no going back either.
I'm glad I got this far. There is no going back either.
OnlyTheWind
Serena / Meatball head
- Aug 29, 2020
- 962
It's incredible how it can go from just being a way out, to a unique experience you can look forward to. I think about ctb every day.
Winklemate
Member
- Jul 26, 2021
- 31
I honestly can't even remember a time where suicide wasn't how I saw the end of my story going and that's definitely informed several of my decisions over the years, so I definitely agree with this.
insanedoomer
Zé"HaZarD
- Jan 10, 2021
- 244
Neowise
We fly and fly but never reach our destination.
- Oct 7, 2020
- 508
WhatDoesTheFoxSay?
Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher
- Dec 25, 2020
- 1,159
L'appel du vide, the call of the void.
Hearing it once is all it takes for you to fall victim to one of the worst earworms of all time. Inside you, the same melody plays and replays in a never-ending loop, trapping you in a vicious cycle of itching and scratching.
Hearing it once is all it takes for you to fall victim to one of the worst earworms of all time. Inside you, the same melody plays and replays in a never-ending loop, trapping you in a vicious cycle of itching and scratching.
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i agree. Thinking about ctb is so … relieving. It really comforts me while I need to make it through another day.
DarkRose
dark rose
- Nov 25, 2022
- 169
I understand that feeling completely. I hope you will get better. <3
I agree - it always pops into my brain at the strangest times - like not thinking about it for a month or so - and then I think about it in a client meeting - it's strange. It seems to know how to pop up as an idea at the strangest of times.
I find it comforting too. I have for so many years. Sometimes I find myself daydreaming about it on my worst days. Like you said, it gets you thru the day.
tyasma
Member
- Oct 14, 2022
- 33
reverse03
Departing. Goodbye
- Sep 11, 2022
- 153
Totally true. As a child around 10-12 years old, I was already searching or trying to suicide. Then I completely forgot being suicidal for a long time. Now that it is back again I cannot foresee my life without suicide. Especially now I discovered SaSu and the sources that I can use. I feel like I can make my suicide dream real.
Suicidal ideation can be a coping mechanism. It's a way out if life becomes unbearable. Knowing that I can ctb and be rid of this life is comforting.
