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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
Y

Yasuke

Member
Jan 29, 2020
93
Yeah Im weeks away from suicide because there's no end in sight
 
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
Yes, I really agree with your thread.
I will always be suicidal, no matter how much love, money, friends and so on I have.
 
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ThrownAwayTom

ThrownAwayTom

Experienced
Oct 3, 2020
276
This is so true. Even if you turn your life around and are truly happy, once you've justified the act of suicide and the logic of it, it's impossible not to see it as an option.
 
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KiloCharlieBravo

KiloCharlieBravo

Member
May 4, 2021
14
Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.
This is so true.
 
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N

nolifer

Member
Dec 25, 2020
97
The problem is that you have to choose between life or suicide. It's not possible to live life if you always have suicide as your ultimate goal.

Relationship/dating? Nope, not if you have CTB plans.
Long term careers/investments/retirement plans/etc? Nope, not going to live that long.
Put a lot of time into learning some profession, either for work or as a hobby/passion? Nope, it's pointless when you have plans to CTB anyway.
Buy a pet? Nope, too great and long term responsibility when you have plans to CTB.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,301
Yeah, I agree with this. Even if somebody tries to recover and puts the thoughts behind them, I think if they get in a crisis again their mind will drift to suicide even if they dont mean to. We can never erase our memories so the fact that suicide is an option will never leave their mind.
 
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Silver

Silver

The 21st century is when everything changes
Aug 8, 2020
745
There can be times when suicidal thoughts don't exist and it feels strange and horrifying that you were suicidal. I felt that way for a few years. Now I'm suicidal it feels a normal mindset to be in and I can't imagine wanting to live and having plans for the future etc.

The problem is that you have to choose between life or suicide. It's not possible to live life if you always have suicide as your ultimate goal.

Relationship/dating? Nope, not if you have CTB plans.
Long term careers/investments/retirement plans/etc? Nope, not going to live that long.
Put a lot of time into learning some profession, either for work or as a hobby/passion? Nope, it's pointless when you have plans to CTB anyway.
Buy a pet? Nope, too great and long term responsibility when you have plans to CTB.
This is true.
 
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Jemo_

Jemo_

No_other_way_outta_this_sh#thole
Apr 22, 2021
42
Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.
This is so true....it becomes an addiction/obsession that is so difficult if not impossible, to break.
This is so true....it becomes an addiction/obsession that is so difficult if not impossible, to break.
Most especially when you've already made irreversible bad decisions in your life because you were suicidal...it gets to the point when there's nothing to go back to hence suicide remains as the only viable and most reasonable move to make...
 
Last edited:
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I

IanUK

Member
Mar 25, 2021
77
Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.
Agree entirely every single day I think I want to go
 
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CatTheBus5689

CatTheBus5689

Member
Jun 22, 2021
76
There was only one thing I felt when I finally gave in and thought about the option.

Freedom.
 
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W

whyidon'tknow

Human
Jun 9, 2019
391
I completely agree with the title of this thread. Working on how your brain thinks is like actually working out. You have to be consistent to see results. Just like some people arent dedicated to working out some people are dedicated to working their minds
 
L

livinginthepast

Member
Jul 27, 2021
23
I have to agree with this. It seems like the only option .
 
meetapple

meetapple

Mage
Jun 3, 2021
585
I even have a hard time putting in the effort of conforming when I know I want to CTB.
 
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V

VicMackey

Student
Apr 10, 2021
141
Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.
I completely agree with you
 
H

hdahsa

Member
Jul 25, 2021
57
I do agree with this thought. Once you know that you have a 'way out' then that thought will never be out of your mind. Whenever you hit a wall or find yourself in a difficult situation, the first thought will mostly be ctb.
 
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C

Cant go back

Man, I really f****d up
Apr 15, 2021
105
I agree there is no going back to normal life. But for me I actually feel freer and less afraid of death. It's made me much less of a pussy, standing up for myself, less afraid of confrontation etc.

I'm glad I got this far. There is no going back either.
 
OnlyTheWind

OnlyTheWind

Serena / Meatball head
Aug 29, 2020
962
It's incredible how it can go from just being a way out, to a unique experience you can look forward to. I think about ctb every day.
 
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Winklemate

Winklemate

Member
Jul 26, 2021
31
I honestly can't even remember a time where suicide wasn't how I saw the end of my story going and that's definitely informed several of my decisions over the years, so I definitely agree with this.
 
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Neowise

Neowise

We fly and fly but never reach our destination.
Oct 7, 2020
508
Thinking of suicide is like Eden's sweet forbidden fruit.
 
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WhatDoesTheFoxSay?

WhatDoesTheFoxSay?

Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher
Dec 25, 2020
1,159
L'appel du vide, the call of the void.

Hearing it once is all it takes for you to fall victim to one of the worst earworms of all time. Inside you, the same melody plays and replays in a never-ending loop, trapping you in a vicious cycle of itching and scratching.
 
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S

spixs_macaw

waiting for a miracle
Sep 28, 2022
30
It's incredible how it can go from just being a way out, to a unique experience you can look forward to. I think about ctb every day.
i agree. Thinking about ctb is so … relieving. It really comforts me while I need to make it through another day.
 
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DarkRose

DarkRose

dark rose
Nov 25, 2022
169
Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.
I understand that feeling completely. I hope you will get better. <3
 
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W

Wait-Bus

Student
Sep 20, 2022
145
Even for a slight inconvenience mind will start thinking of suicide, once thought of suicide has entered your mind I feel it's impossible to completely let it go and fully live. You can ignore it for a while but it's always going to come back.
I agree - it always pops into my brain at the strangest times - like not thinking about it for a month or so - and then I think about it in a client meeting - it's strange. It seems to know how to pop up as an idea at the strangest of times.
 
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Reactions: spixs_macaw
W

Wannagonow

Specialist
Nov 16, 2022
376
i agree. Thinking about ctb is so … relieving. It really comforts me while I need to make it through another day.
I find it comforting too. I have for so many years. Sometimes I find myself daydreaming about it on my worst days. Like you said, it gets you thru the day.
 
tyasma

tyasma

Member
Oct 14, 2022
33
The problem is that you have to choose between life or suicide. It's not possible to live life if you always have suicide as your ultimate goal.

Relationship/dating? Nope, not if you have CTB plans.
Long term careers/investments/retirement plans/etc? Nope, not going to live that long.
Put a lot of time into learning some profession, either for work or as a hobby/passion? Nope, it's pointless when you have plans to CTB anyway.
Buy a pet? Nope, too great and long term responsibility when you have plans to CTB.
I even have a hard time putting in the effort of conforming when I know I want to CTB.
 
reverse03

reverse03

Departing. Goodbye
Sep 11, 2022
153
Totally true. As a child around 10-12 years old, I was already searching or trying to suicide. Then I completely forgot being suicidal for a long time. Now that it is back again I cannot foresee my life without suicide. Especially now I discovered SaSu and the sources that I can use. I feel like I can make my suicide dream real.
 
A

Anon1337

Mage
Oct 1, 2018
553
Suicidal ideation can be a coping mechanism. It's a way out if life becomes unbearable. Knowing that I can ctb and be rid of this life is comforting.
 
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