Lazy
Just let me sleep
- Feb 25, 2025
- 14
I honestly don't remember when it started but for a very long time now, all emotions I feel have been weakening. Like I just lost the ability to feel strongly about anything and it is destroying me.
I no longer am happy while doing things I enjoyed, I was not really sad when people really close to me died and generally everything feels "greyed out".
And I don't understand. What am I donig wrong? Why am I loosing more and more ability to feel? The moments during which I'm actually interested about what is going on in my life are dwindling in number because everything feels monotonous.
The worst thing about all this is that for some god forsaken reason, the feeling of Hate, is something I percive more and more often.
I know this might sound naive but this disgusts me about myself, I always try to be helpful to people, idk why and threfore feeling hate, tears me appart.
(Going on a small tangent here) A big part of why me feeling hate towards others makes me diespise myself even more, is my belife, that noone really is fully responsible for their action, since everything can be traced back to their circumstances, and therefore hating anyone is unjustefied.
So now I'm stuck loosing my ability to feel emotions, and regulare outbursts of hate and I don't know what to do.
I just hope I'll die of a stroke in my sleep tonight
(also sry for my "writing style (?)" I honestly don't know how to propperly interact with other humans ._. )
I no longer am happy while doing things I enjoyed, I was not really sad when people really close to me died and generally everything feels "greyed out".
And I don't understand. What am I donig wrong? Why am I loosing more and more ability to feel? The moments during which I'm actually interested about what is going on in my life are dwindling in number because everything feels monotonous.
The worst thing about all this is that for some god forsaken reason, the feeling of Hate, is something I percive more and more often.
I know this might sound naive but this disgusts me about myself, I always try to be helpful to people, idk why and threfore feeling hate, tears me appart.
(Going on a small tangent here) A big part of why me feeling hate towards others makes me diespise myself even more, is my belife, that noone really is fully responsible for their action, since everything can be traced back to their circumstances, and therefore hating anyone is unjustefied.
So now I'm stuck loosing my ability to feel emotions, and regulare outbursts of hate and I don't know what to do.
I just hope I'll die of a stroke in my sleep tonight
(also sry for my "writing style (?)" I honestly don't know how to propperly interact with other humans ._. )
