smirks00ts
have you...ever done something that you regret?
- Jul 12, 2026
- 159
I havent written a proper post in a while. The thought of suicide hasn't been on my mind for a while...until today.
Things havent gotten better, they stabilized yes. Some of my mutuals talk to me again, but its still awful.
The person who called me out makes jokes and subtweets me.
I am still blocked by many people.
im on a new Twitter and all I do is edge myself.
I can barely talk to anyone or focus on classes.
I miss all my old friends I made before.
I can barely write a doc as a response because im not brave to look at what i did.
I can barely draw or do anything I want to do, I feel numb and more angry all the time.
My meds dont do shit.
and even better, I embarrassed myself on the online classes today and became the GC's joke of the hour for a bit there. so that's fun.
I did get to hold my dad's karabiner 98k for a while, its huge. and shoots well from what i saw. My family was quite confused why i suddenly care about guns all of a sudden, but they seemed to not care a while later.
Sadly my dad stores it really high up so stealing it is next to impossible unless the house was somehow empty with only me in it and i had my mom's room key, which she hides when she goes out.
I wish I was brave enough to kill myself, but a part of me wants to live. I know its a stupid lie. but considering what I did and how I eill ljust be called a pedophile online until the day I die, I think its better I turn into a corpse.
on a lighter note, ive been playing half life 2 and Minecraft often, alongside roblox with a friend for a bit there and voice chatted since a while. so thats nice.
I hope everyones doing well.
Things havent gotten better, they stabilized yes. Some of my mutuals talk to me again, but its still awful.
The person who called me out makes jokes and subtweets me.
I am still blocked by many people.
im on a new Twitter and all I do is edge myself.
I can barely talk to anyone or focus on classes.
I miss all my old friends I made before.
I can barely write a doc as a response because im not brave to look at what i did.
I can barely draw or do anything I want to do, I feel numb and more angry all the time.
My meds dont do shit.
and even better, I embarrassed myself on the online classes today and became the GC's joke of the hour for a bit there. so that's fun.
I did get to hold my dad's karabiner 98k for a while, its huge. and shoots well from what i saw. My family was quite confused why i suddenly care about guns all of a sudden, but they seemed to not care a while later.
Sadly my dad stores it really high up so stealing it is next to impossible unless the house was somehow empty with only me in it and i had my mom's room key, which she hides when she goes out.
I wish I was brave enough to kill myself, but a part of me wants to live. I know its a stupid lie. but considering what I did and how I eill ljust be called a pedophile online until the day I die, I think its better I turn into a corpse.
on a lighter note, ive been playing half life 2 and Minecraft often, alongside roblox with a friend for a bit there and voice chatted since a while. so thats nice.
I hope everyones doing well.
