I want to understand why do I get triggered on yelling

[miseryismybsf]

I don't really know what to call this, but whenever someone, especially my mom, yells at me, raises her voice at me, or keeps calling me repeatedly, I suddenly get extremely angry and frustrated.

It's very sudden. I feel like I lose control of myself. I throw or slam whatever is in my hand, bend my phone and/or hit my phone to my head slam my laptop shut, punch myself in the head, or hit my head with my phone or against a wall. I clench my jaw really hard too. I've broken things because of this, including my phones.

This thing is that the really intense part only lasts for a few seconds. It's like this sudden burst of rage where I don't think about what I'm doing and start hitting myself or break things. Then it passes almost as quickly as it started, and I feel normal again and wonder why I just did all of that.

I don't understand it myself.

 

[3rdworldsadness]

It's unresolved trauma response. And I have kinda similar response but I get frustrated and cry with anger. It's feels awful. And I do this cause I have unresolved trauma and was neglected so much that I feel frozen and confused.. what I suppose to do?! And I started crying or get blank. I can't get help unfortunately but I hope you can treat it.