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Exhausted546

Specialist
Dec 1, 2025
370
Thankfully I have the rope in my backpack ,im just waiting for the nighttime to go to the woods
 
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chudcell

chudcell

BPD + attachment issues :/
Feb 20, 2026
50
Thankfully I have the rope in my backpack ,im just waiting for the nighttime to go to the woods
I hope you can find help? Maybe a shelter or something?
 
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geepeedee

geepeedee

no future
Feb 24, 2026
161
sorry this happened to you. good luck!
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,118
I hope you find freedom from suffering.
 
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Exhausted546

Specialist
Dec 1, 2025
370
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knowledgeseeking

knowledgeseeking

Experienced
Apr 5, 2025
279
Thankfully I have the rope in my backpack ,im just waiting for the nighttime to go to the woods
I am so sorry you are going through this. Housing insecurity is a huge stressful issue. Not knowing your situation, there is little advice for me to give. Know that you do have options you may not have considered.

If CBT is the route the choose, I wish you peace.
 
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gunmetalblue

gunmetalblue

Suicidal Jesus
Oct 31, 2025
407
I'm very sorry you are going through a situation like this. I'll leave this thread here just incase it can in anyway maybe help or at least give you ideas if that's a possibility.

Otherwise, I wish you peace whatever you decide.
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Illuminated
May 10, 2025
3,341
love and peace to you my friend ❤️🕊️
 
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tomame

tomame

forlorn 💔
Dec 28, 2025
111
i'm so sorry
 
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chudcell

chudcell

BPD + attachment issues :/
Feb 20, 2026
50
Good luck on your journey to the other side 😇❤️
 
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Exhausted546

Specialist
Dec 1, 2025
370
It's 11 pm, got 2 strong beers in my backpack to help override the SI and the overthinking. Im not sure how im going to climb up the chosen tree yet. Or cut the rope to the appropriate height and so on but I'll figure it out.

Thank you for the wishes
 
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FadingSnowFake

FadingSnowFake

Enlightened
Nov 25, 2024
1,827
I'm so sorry for the complete wrongness of this life and what happened to bring you here. You are in my thoughts. Sending love
 
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Exhausted546

Specialist
Dec 1, 2025
370
Keep us updated
Down a strong beer just now, feel like napping a quick 20 mins cause I haven't slept in like 36 hours. Can't take too long tho, it's -3 outside
Downed the second and last can. I'm ready to go. It's a race against time while my SI is down , walking to my chosen tree right now,I have to figure out how to do it properly right after
 
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Exhausted546

Specialist
Dec 1, 2025
370
God this feels complicated while drunk and acting with an hard tree. I really hope I figure it out before fire SI comes back and I feel it creeping back
God this feels complicated while drunk and acting with an hard tree. I really hope I figure it out before fire SI comes back and I feel it creeping back

Okay I think I somehow figured it out. Hopefully this works out. I need to put my neck inside the noose in the next few minutes before the alcohol leaves my bloods. If anyone has some last minute feedback, please share
 

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alivebutnotliving

alivebutnotliving

“The suffering said we go around”
Dec 16, 2024
55
Hello, are you still with us? i'm sorry life put you in this position. i hope you are at ease with whatever choice you make. 💕
 
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itsgone2

-
Sep 21, 2025
1,659
I just wanted to say that it's incredibly brave that you've made it this far tonight. None of this is easy and you've done so much.
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Illuminated
May 10, 2025
3,341
God this feels complicated while drunk and acting with an hard tree. I really hope I figure it out before fire SI comes back and I feel it creeping back


Okay I think I somehow figured it out. Hopefully this works out. I need to put my neck inside the noose in the next few minutes before the alcohol leaves my bloods. If anyone has some last minute feedback, please share

best of luck and safe travels 🫂:heart:
 
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Exhausted546

Specialist
Dec 1, 2025
370
Hello, are you still with us? i'm sorry life put you in this position. i hope you are at ease with whatever choice you make. 💕
Have the noose around my neck as I'm writing this. It's in partial hanging mode. It needs to be up higher. Think I'll redo the set up. Need to hurry, hearing lots of sounds rn, some from animals, the others idk.

Idk if any neighbor doing their night shift is about the walk their dog soon.

In any case, the way it's set up right now is partial hanging which is complicatedbo
Have the noose around my neck as I'm writing this. It's in partial hanging mode. It needs to be up higher. Think I'll redo the set up. Need to hurry, hearing lots of sounds rn, some from animals, the others idk.

Idk if any neighbor doing their night shift is about the walk their dog soon.

In any case, the way it's set up right now is partial hanging which is complicatedbo
Yeah partial is tough,I counted to 20 until the headache got to me, might have counted too fast. I'll try to take a 20 min nap against the tree and set the alarm (although I fear it'll cause my SI to spike up

Either needs to redo the whole setup or postpone another 20ish hours
Have the noose around my neck as I'm writing this. It's in partial hanging mode. It needs to be up higher. Think I'll redo the set up. Need to hurry, hearing lots of sounds rn, some from animals, the others idk.

Idk if any neighbor doing their night shift is about the walk their dog soon.

In any case, the way it's set up right now is partial hanging which is complicatedbo

Yeah partial is tough,I counted to 20 until the headache got to me, might have counted too fast. I'll try to take a 20 min nap against the tree and set the alarm (although I fear it'll cause my SI to spike up

Either needs to redo the whole setup or postpone another 20ish hours
Damn I need to hurry while I still feel my feet and fingers,God damn. Think I need to hurry while my SI is down
 
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itsgone2

-
Sep 21, 2025
1,659
Damn I need to hurry while I still feel my feet and fingers,God damn. Think I need to hurry while my SI is down
Are you still there? Really floored by how brave you are
 
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Exhausted546

Specialist
Dec 1, 2025
370
Are you still there? Really floored by how brave you are
Yes,sadly. I need to change the set up, this partial hanging isn't working out. I barely feel my fingers and toes anymore either

I appreciate it, I'm trying to make this work
 
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itsgone2

-
Sep 21, 2025
1,659
Yes,sadly. I need to change the set up, this partial hanging isn't working out. I barely feel my fingers and toes anymore either

I appreciate it, I'm trying to make this work
Partial seems to have a really high failure rate. But then I plan to do four or so many of us that are afraid to go through with it so we don't even get to attempt.
Are you giving up for tonight then?
 
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Exhausted546

Specialist
Dec 1, 2025
370
Partial seems to have a really high failure rate. But then I plan to do four or so many of us that are afraid to go through with it so we don't even get to attempt.
Are you giving up for tonight then?
People are gonna start taking their dogs for walks soon, its probably wiser that I give up for tonight.
I have an appointment with a social worker in 4 hours, she will likely point towards the homeless shelter. I'm worried they go through my bag and spot my rope & get me sent to psych ward. + I have a knife in my bag (to adjust the rope length with). It's problematic altogether

This isn't ideal at all.

Edit:

I just realized I have about 200$ rn , it should be enough to get a motel for a day? I could do FSH inside a motel with the door method
 
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Exhausted546

Specialist
Dec 1, 2025
370
Round 2 once its night time,im so tired
 
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meddle

meddle

pink floyd is half of my personality
Jan 11, 2024
372
im so sorry you ended up in this situation. keep us updated as long as you can and want. how was your appointment with the social worker? was it helpful?
 
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Exhausted546

Specialist
Dec 1, 2025
370
im so sorry you ended up in this situation. keep us updated as long as you can and want. how was your appointment with the social worker? was it helpful?
It was actually, I feel guilty for preferring to ctb. As I explained to a friend before I became homeless, while homelessness was the imminent problem,it's not what made me want to ctb. Unless I summon the will to fight again, I'm cooked whether I find a place to stay tonight or not
 
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fadedghost

fadedghost

Found SaSu after reading BBC & watching YouTube
Dec 10, 2025
476
I'm so sorry you are going through this.

On the one hand, you hear all these people saying "it gets better" and "call 988" and on the other, you see anti-homeless architecture (spikes under bridges preventing sleeping; benches split in two so homeless people can't sleep on them) and laws criminalizing homeless people sleeping.

People are just generally hypocritical evil pieces of shit who pretend to want to stop suicide, out of half of their mouth, and want to criminalize being poor with the other side of their mouth.

For all the anti-suicide religious zealots who complain about this forum, here's an example of someone who would probably not commit suicide so quickly if the person had a place to stay. So, anti-suicide religious zealots, are you letting homeless people into your home? Are you working on this bigger problem that leads many to commit suicide? Or are you just blaming SaSu for giving people somewhere to express how they feel and connect with others without the fear of being involuntarily drugged and locked up?

@Exhausted546, I am dealing with similar things, although they aren't quite as bad. Society is nasty and terrible. I hope you find a program or something that provides some housing support while you look for income. Also fuck society and everyone voting for cruel policies for the homeless for doing this to you and other people.
 
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Matchaaa

Matchaaa

Please excuse any tone misunderstandings,thank you
Dec 10, 2025
251
I'm so sorry you've had to go through this, I hope you find peace and relief you are search for.
 
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fadedghost

fadedghost

Found SaSu after reading BBC & watching YouTube
Dec 10, 2025
476
It was actually, I feel guilty for preferring to ctb. As I explained to a friend before I became homeless, while homelessness was the imminent problem,it's not what made me want to ctb. Unless I summon the will to fight again, I'm cooked whether I find a place to stay tonight or not
Thinking of you @Exhausted546 . Hope if you're still with us you're doing ok, or at least feel less terrible somehow.
 
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Exhausted546

Specialist
Dec 1, 2025
370
Thinking of you @Exhausted546 . Hope if you're still with us you're doing ok, or at least feel less terrible somehow.
Yeah ended up booking a room. There's a social worker that really insisted on me finding a place to sleep tonight. Went through with one of the bookings she suggested

I'm not certain what it is. It might be like an air BNB? It'd be sick for me to ctb there. I'm starting to regret booking it honestly.

Oh well at least I'll have a few hours of peace and warmth
 
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