I certainly fear this existence getting more horrific in the future and I find it awful the fact that as time goes on the suffering being experienced will just increase with no limit as to how much life can torture us. This just makes the thought of non existence sound incredibly appealing to me, I mean what is the point to enduring decades of torment just to die anyway eventually. At least to me suicide is the only thing that makes sense, all that we are destined for as humans is to reach a very old age and this is disturbing to me. This existence is nothing more than a cruel mistake which is why I only envy those who have died.
