Now that everything's here, I'm hesitant

[RoadtoFreedomTwo]

Just finished testing, and my exit bag / insert gas setup is now complete. Finding the correct hose / barbed hose adapter for my flowmeter was a bitch, but everything's working (see below for pics)

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This moment has been months in the waiting. My bestie visited for a weekend and now that it's over, I was able to order the remaining supplies needed. I didn't have any plans to leave notes because nothing fucking matters, but of course my heart is RACING at the thought of failure.

I live alone in a nice apartment with 0% chance of being disturbed less a 48hr+ notice from the office for maintenance entry. The logistics and risks of loading all this equipment into a bag to take a hotel or Airbnb is overwhelming - I gave nice to my current apartment that I'll vacant by end of July, and so while this is really shitty, someone has to find me, so I'm considering putting in a maintenance request so they find me sometime in the next couple days.

Two things I really wanted to do before CTB was 1) quitting my job and 2) shaving my head since nothing really matters anyways, if this attempt fails I have 0 intention of returning to the life I'm currently living. It's just so fucking crazy that once I get the hood on, it'll be quick and painless into forever nothingness which is what I've been begging and screaming for for months yet now, I'm shaking.

Hugs, advice, sympathy/empathy are all welcome here :)

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See setup below and feel free to comment questions/concerns/advice before this happens later tonight <3

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I can understand the hesitancy, and the shaking. I'm no expert but that looks like a nice setup.

 

[RoadtoFreedomTwo]

I can understand the hesitancy, and the shaking. I'm no expert but that looks like a nice setup.

Thanks, mate! Have you considered the same method?

 

[bankai]

Damn, that looks like a nice setup. I'm sure a ton of people on this site wish they could share that

Hesitation is normal. You're only human after all.

 

[kitkat9234]

Wishing you peace.

 

[RoadtoFreedomTwo]

@bankai - Should I make a quick post similar to this one about total cost, bumps along the way, etc? I see so many people asking for a tutorial about how to make the bag itself, and "doing it with Chi" could use a 4K version :D

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Thanks, mate! Have you considered the same method?

Yes. It seems peaceful to me. But I live with nosy people so I don't think I could keep it hidden or be left alone long enough. I imagine the gas makes a hissing sound which in and of itself would make me drift off to sleep.

 

[bankai]

@bankai - Should I make a quick post similar to this one about total cost, bumps along the way, etc? I see so many people asking for a tutorial about how to make the bag itself, and "doing it with Chi" could use a 4K version :D

Yeah, dude, I'm sure it'll help a lot of people

 

[Higurashi415]

@bankai - Should I make a quick post similar to this one about total cost, bumps along the way, etc? I see so many people asking for a tutorial about how to make the bag itself, and "doing it with Chi" could use a 4K version :D

It would help many, I'm sure, but don't feel compelled to do anything ;)
Good luck

 

[RoadtoFreedomTwo]

Yes. It seems peaceful to me. But I live with nosy people so I don't think I could keep it hidden or be left alone long enough. I imagine the gas makes a hissing sound which in and of itself would make me drift off to sleep.

I wish I could share this setup with others on this site - THAT would be a reason to live.

Hopefully you're able to order everything to a hotel/Airbnb or something! :)