noticing small changes

[endless-void]

I am getting better. I found someone and I feel a thousand times better. Every time I get anxious there his arms are to soothe me. Every time I'm sad I kiss him and all the weight in me just disappears. Suddenly I know how to deal with all the bad feelings and thoughts just because I have him. I get so scared of losing him and this makes me so happy. I had believed for so long no one would stick with me I would push away everyone around me and it got to a point I thought I wouldn't love anyone. I am also afraid about the idea that I wouldn't have accomplished any of this without him because what am I going to do when he's gone? I don't even want to think about it but I am so sure this will have an end. There is a special place in his heart and I know there is already someone in there that's not me. Still, he helps me a lot just being by my side and I'm really grateful. I love him.

 

[time-is-up]

You are enough, and deserve to be loved...im sure of it.

 

[Odwin]

Good for you. Would work on that dependency on him, but one step at the time.
Or just marry him.

 

[human909]

Good for you i haven't met you but i'm glad you feel joy and happiness again.

 

[derpyderpins]

Good for you. Would work on that dependency on him, but one step at the time.
Or just marry him.

I get the fear of overdependence, and yes you shouldn't completely lose yourself in another person, but some of us are just wired to have a partner in life. I'm a more complete person with my wife. I also have anxiety about not being good enough for her, and I don't know if I could keep going if I had to return to life without her. Of course, easy to say once the rings are on, but I think it's okay for that to be the goal.

 

[Odwin]

I get the fear of overdependence, and yes you shouldn't completely lose yourself in another person, but some of us are just wired to have a partner in life. I'm a more complete person with my wife. I also have anxiety about not being good enough for her, and I don't know if I could keep going if I had to return to life without her. Of course, easy to say once the rings are on, but I think it's okay for that to be the goal.

I get that, kinda. Weirdly i might be wired the exact opposite. The idea of having a partner is just meh for me. ¯\(ツ)/¯

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Good for you. Would work on that dependency on him, but one step at the time.
Or just marry him.

Codependency can be sweet sometimes and some guys love it and it's very sweet to be in her shoes.