I can't take any more. Life works for some people. I fucked mine up. I don't want to carry on this meaningless existence. People have seen me as a stalker since I was 19. I haven't been able to have normal sexual relationships, haven't been able to settle down, build a life, a job, friends. I just want to die. I can't keep bouncing around mental services and nothingness like this. The pressure is only going to build up and up until I do something. I won't be admitted to hospital any more, I'm too much hassle. SN is too much work. Part of me is tempted to just take a day trip somewhere, maybe somewhere like Beachy Head and just jump. Fuck it I'm so depressed, what am I supposed to do, I just want to die right here right now, it's all closing in on me
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