Nothing keeps me alive but my anti-sociality

[JustSwingingTheD]

Non-suicidal people like to talk about "taking the easy way out". And they are sort of right. There is nothing easy about killing yourself, as we all know, but dying in itself IS easy. Making the decision is easy. What follows is easy. What they don't like to mention is that what really is hard, what makes suicide "easy" in comparison, is giving up all the resentment. In reality, there is simply no reason to hold on, no reason to keep trying. It is all a big nothing.

I say this now and i mean every word from the bottom of my heart: The only thing that keeps me alive any more is my resentment, greed and desire for revenge.

If not for these things, I would indeed take the easy way out. Everything is ready. I really just want to cause more harm to the society that failed me, and I want to have revenge to the few people who were responsible of me and failed me. There is nothing I can do to change the past, there is very little I can do to change the future (for me). But there is still so, so much I can do to cause problems for the others around me. I'm constantly acutely, painfully aware of just how sweet my revenge could be. The elixir of life.

So i guess what i'm saying is don't give up hope, keep fighting and before long, you could end up being just like me.

 

[SexyIncél]

People greatly underestimate the healing power of vengeance. Too many people talk others out of it, claiming it consumes you. Sure, it does consume... until you do it. Then you can move on, and treat people decently from then on

Probably a net positive for society

 

[JustSwingingTheD]

People greatly underestimate the healing power of vengeance. Too many people talk others out of it, claiming it consumes you. Sure, it does consume... until you do it. Then you can move on, and treat people decently from then on

Probably a net positive for society

In many (i would argue most) cases, there is really nobody directly responsible. Or if there are, they are impossible to get to, since they see you coming from 100miles away. This doesn't mean we just swallow up our bile and go on with our lives. That's not how humans work. Someone has to pay.

Revenge is really just a pipe dream for me. I'm afraid i will end up hurting innocents in my path to it. I'm afraid i won't even give a shit when that happens.

If the person i once was could see me now...

 

[SexyIncél]

Hmm interesting point. Guess it depends on specifics